I'm Venting...

[Chelbe]

Women who tell their children they don't need a father to justify their loose ways...

This is really beginning to get to me and I guess it's because this is a situation I just found out my sister was in. For 13 years she has been telling her daughter that so and so was her father, now that she finds out he isn't the father and does not know where the father is... all of a sutton her daughter does not need one now. I can't find him, so you don't need him. And on top of that she is not even sure if he is the father or not.

Women who tell their children they don't need a father for their own benefit...

My situation is a little different.. given the fact that supposedly my mother knows who my father is. I don't know my father and never met him, but there have been times when my mother told me she would see him out and about, then when he would ask about me she would tell him to go to hell or that I am not thinking about him. True enough.. he has never done a thing for me in my life but neither has she. As far as I am concerned they are both in the same boat so I dont understand why she feels the need to tell him how I feel about him and then tell me that I dont need to know him. I'm sorry, but if he is the crack head on the corner I want to know.. I might not invite him to my house, but I would still want to know.

[saraphen]

I'm sorry you're going through this, Chelbe.

[trinigirl]

Originally Posted by Chelbe

Women who tell their children they don't need a father to justify their loose ways...

This is really beginning to get to me and I guess it's because this is a situation I just found out my sister was in. For 13 years she has been telling her daughter that so and so was her father, now that she finds out he isn't the father and does not know where the father is... all of a sutton her daughter does not need one now. I can't find him, so you don't need him. And on top of that she is not even sure if he is the father or not.

Women who tell their children they don't need a father for their own benefit...

My situation is a little different.. given the fact that supposedly my mother knows who my father is. I don't know my father and never met him, but there have been times when my mother told me she would see him out and about, then when he would ask about me she would tell him to go to hell or that I am not thinking about him. True enough.. he has never done a thing for me in my life but neither has she. As far as I am concerned they are both in the same boat so I dont understand why she feels the need to tell him how I feel about him and then tell me that I dont need to know him. I'm sorry, but if he is the crack head on the corner I want to know.. I might not invite him to my house, but I would still want to know.

Chelbe Blessings sis. and i totally agree with your position

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sharing this part of yourself.. A word to the wise is sufficient.

Additionally I think this should be submitted as an advertorial to any of the many magazines and sites that deal with these issues as to the need for the black man in and around the lives of their children.
But as we know even on this site there are sisters who have expounded opposite views and also tried to justify it. As a result we experience the pain a lot have imported on their children.

Chelbe, My love to you Sis.
Peace
Trini

You know this is a very good post. What's worse than that is when a women bad mouths a father to the child for no reason. My daughter's mother had everyone in her family believing that I was a dead beat! I was always wondering why these people would look at me crazy and start speaking ill of me.

Then it got back to me and I was hot. I have always been there for my daughter financially, emotionally and physically. I showed her parents the bills, receipts and cancelled checks and they were humiliated. It was a bunch of crap all because she could not tell the truth. To lie about the identity or committment from a parent is absolutely reprehensible.

[jamesfrmphilly]

Originally Posted by Psyops

To lie about the identity or commitment from a parent is absolutely reprehensible.

this i can agree with.
the thing is, ultimately the child is paying the price for the adults craziness.
this is actually a form of child abuse!

those who put **** on children are creeps.

[JamieC]

This is an excellent post because it makes no sense to confuse a child. Just because the parent didn't get her way is no reason for her bash her childs dad. My ex-hubby was a great person and grant it, we didn't always agree with certain things, but he made sure that our children had food in their mouths, a roof over our heads, and clothes on their backs.

I can't say he was a DOG because he wasn't that way. I think I consider myself fortunate because to this day, he still looks out for them although I'm now married to someone else. But no matter what, children should always feel as though their loved no matter what might've went wrong.

[goodcookinmama]

Originally Posted by JamieC

This is an excellent post because it makes no sense to confuse a child. Just because the parent didn't get her way is no reason for her bash her childs dad. My ex-hubby was a great person and grant it, we didn't always agree with certain things, but he made sure that our children had food in their mouths, a roof over our heads, and clothes on their backs.

I can't say he was a DOG because he wasn't that way. I think I consider myself fortunate because to this day, he still looks out for them although I'm now married to someone else. But no matter what, children should always feel as though their loved no matter what might've went wrong.

amen my sister amen to that