Springtime Message To Fat Men

[Isis7]

Im originally from the midwest, and I have come to appreciate the changing of the seasons, especially winter to spring. Spring signals the beginning of a life, if you will. Longer days, blossoming of foliage, baseball, sidewalk cafes, and my personal favorite, Brothas in their warm weather attire. Oh, the joy of seeing lovely, muscular and masculine Brothas in their wife-beaters, board shorts, baggy jean shorts, or just plain bare-chested. The astheticly pleasing sight of young Brothas on the basketball court with pectorals pertruding from their sweaty wife-beaters and A-Shirts is enough to make one sing pslams of high praise to The Deity for creating such a sublime paragon of masculine beauty.

Then there’s him…the large sized farm anim…err, excuse me, Brotha whose suffering from delusions of grandeur. We’ve all seen him, the wildebeast whose stuffed himself into his son's wife-beater. The Brotha who has the audacity not to wear a shirt, only to have his “rolls” resting atop his pants. The sight is reminiscent of freshly baked bread that has yet to be removed from the pan, or the Brotha who has on a belt with his jeans but you can barely see it due to the protusion of meat hanging over the buckle. The belt looks as if its trying to hold up the Sears Tower. Then there’s the Brotha who is showing his man-cleavage. The main problem with this is, instead of looking firm and cut, the man-breasts look supple and bouncy. I can’t forget the ox who likes to share with the world the carpet of hamburger meat he calls chest hair when he decides to take off his shirt on the basketball court. Then there’s the ultimate travesty against womankind, an offense so egregious in nature it warrants being brought up on charges of crimes against humanity. The whale or single 40+ loner who reasons unbeknownst to me, has boulders of chalky white clumps of deodorant clinging for dear life onto his underarm hair. Where were his friends, to utter “Negro use the SPRAY man" upon seeing the masses of brownish-white Degree stuck to his pits. Where was the voice of reason within him that would question whether or not he should check his pits before stepping out of the house in a dingy wife-beater?

On the behalf of a horrified and repulsed nation of Black women, I urge you to cease and desist in the exposure of your hamburger meat chest hair, belly rolls, bullet wounds, and supple man-breasts to the masses. Whoever told you that you were handsome when we see your belly suffocating the belt on your jeans, was telling you the most terrible of lies. Those long gazing you get from sistahs aren’t the alluring looks of lust, they’re looks of disgust. Other Brothas aren’t jealous of you, they’re stupefied that not only you have an enormous belly and titties, but that you're actually exposing it. You’re a gluttonous, indolent slob with no self-control. Join a gym and do some pushbacks from the table before you try to show off your body, until then, keep your fat to yourself. America doesn’t want to be exposed to all of that.


Ladies... you KNOW I had to do it.

[Chelbe]

girl, you are a trippppp.

[Isis7]

LOL Chelbe I REALLY couldnt help myself on this one!

[JamieC]

Whewwwwwwww!!! Talk about KARMA!!

[Alisha37]

Ya know?!

:whistling

[AdriansMommy]

___________________Flatline______________________

OMGGG!! AMEN AMEN. What goes around.....

[MochaLove37]

I hear you girl. I see that here on the east coast too. That's universal.

[MaximusRex]

You shouldn't of "bit," my writing style. Just like Tupac can only properly sound like Tupac, Only Omipotens Maximus Rex can write like Omipotens Maximus Rex. Your feeble attempt at humor, satire, and commentary were sorry and sad. Your rant would've been ALOT better if you would've put it in your own words.

Anyway. You forgot, skinny dudes. Skinny dudes can't wear wife beaters either. When skinny dudes wear wife beaters they look like they have on that gear Ghandi used to wear.

In order to achieve the proper look and effect of wearing a wife beater. One should have well developed arms, pectoral and deltoids.

As far as deordorant. Men don't normally don't pay that close attention to each other. Something is wrong when the next guy is looking into the next dudes underarms.

[Weapon_of_Israel]

<--------------shocked..... lol

[Weapon_of_Israel]

im a skinny dude, and i will STILL rock the wife beater!