self hate

I post on the mixedfolks.com site everyonce in a while and man'o'man some of these cats are ........ i dont know really.

I get sick of hearing people callin themselves mullattos which means half a effin donkey. Like this one cat and I getting into it about slavery and white people and black freedom and I make the arguement that blacks did it on their own so I usually get jumped on and people are like dude calm down and I dont knwo history and all this, and I am sayin to them why give so much credit when they didnt do the work, and they are all conflicted about forsaking their mothers or fathers and all the other races of people in their families.

It makes me sad when I talk to these people and they act like they are so in the middle of issues and not favoring one side or the other but often they are more harsh on black people or blame the fact they dont associate with blacks is the fault of the blacks, and often go out of their way to defend white people for whatever reason but when I step in then people want to attack me.

The mullatto thing kills me cause they all talk about how they look and this and that and it seems to me like the blackness in them is either something they thought they can go through life as only a mental part of themselves and not really a living experience.

I have parents of two different races mom is white dad is black I know who my family is and have lived in all white or mostly white neighborhoods all my life, but I dont feel this responsibility to them, believe me there are places I can go or people I can talk to that maybe wont work for all black people but I dont think of myself as a new race, I am not something new we have plenty of light skin people here and people have been mixin it up for a long time, I just dont feel I am better or different cause of my make up.

THey often have talks about being mulatto and the culture and I have a hard time trying to find out what the mixed culture is. I thought it was a combination of two seperate things...How does it become one new thing?

It just makes me sad, I am not an actor, it took me a long time to get comfortable with who I am, but I know I missed out on alot because of fears I had and believing stereotypes and things like that until I reached out, until I realized that it is up to me to get to know myself, its not up to you or my mom or anyone to teach me about me and where I come from, and I started at around twelve to really look into it, but it changed my life forever, not that I made a choice cause my accent didnt change I may have dressed differently for a while,(but crosscolors was takin over) but it was never about acting a certain way, it was about how I felt inside and an expression of those thoughts.

You would be surprised on how many of my white friends that I used to hang out with went the other way when I began to come into my own, or started talking to me like I was a stereotype and all the sudden believed in them, my best friend literally thought what I was doing was wrong and we stopped hangin out cause he didnt liek the fact that I was learning about black people.

By the time I graduated high school the people that new me witnessed a transformation that was not yet complete btu a transformation none the less of a goofy kid from Canada that knew very little about who he was to a not as goofy man that commanded the utmost respect from not only my freinds and fellow student but faculty of my school as well. When they sent me to represent the school at Boys State for MN they knew they were not sending some token negro, they knew they were sending the real deal .

Not to say that these mixed kids that hate themselves or just dont know are worse off but if they knew how many beautiful and wonderful people they were missing out on, they would kick themselves in the A@@ on a daily basis.

I rambled for a while but it frustrates me cause I love black people whether you are from Minnesota or Mars and I wish that the rest of the world could see how beautiful we really are.

sorry but this is the VENT area adn these cats were pissin me off today.

[therealisticlady]

MIM I have to commend you for standing up for yourself being you are a mixed person. I also want to commend you for choosing to find out more about your heritage whether it be your black or white side. I unfortunately have been criticized for not knowing more about my black side but I think when you grow up with a parent who is not in touch with the black side it is hard for them to teach you anything else, not to mention my fondest memories of growing up were that my parents, grandparents, and even great granparents loved me despite the fact that my daddy or mommie was a different color than them.

I fell compelled to tell you that my mom n dem(lol) were half white and the other half is black and cherokee indian. I was talking to my aunt the other night about how I was criticized for not knowing alot about my African Heritage and I explained to her that part I did know about the white side of my family. I also explained to her that I thought my grandmother was the greatest, strongest and bravest woman I knew. She married a black man when it was still illegal in some states and she raised 4 black kids when they were not accepted by their white family, their black family, or society. I said all this to say that I think you are courageous for acting as you have and I know how hard it is even today to be of mixed race in a very color struck world.

[DBlack]

Those who reject and hate themselves for what they really are, will do the same to all others in theirs lives, one way or the other.

As far as Mixedfolks.com, I tried to understand it's purpose, agenda, etc..., and have failed miserably. Then agian, it wasn't built with me in mind anyway.

If the Skinheads in the world can have online communities, why can't 'mixedfolk'.

[Mra75]

Well, I'm mixed myself (Black Haitian Mother and White German Father) and I'm not lost, self-hating or any of that negative BS. I really think it has to do with who your parents are.

Show me a messed up mixed kid and I'll show you a deeper problem, messed up parents. 7 times out of 10 I'm usually right.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by Mra75

Well, I'm mixed myself (Black Haitian Mother and White German Father) and I'm not lost, self-hating or any of that negative BS. I really think it has to do with who your parents are.

Show me a messed up mixed kid and I'll show you a deeper problem, messed up parents. 7 times out of 10 I'm usually right.

I think the parents play a big role too. Especially when it is a non black mother that ended up a single mother. The black parent is not around and the problems start. SOME white women that got pregnant by a black man never did like black people and were in it for the sex....this is how I hear horror stories about mothers using the N-word against their half black kids :(

IR parents can raise a kid who knows who they are if they do their job as parents but some are too lazy or dont care to do this.

M-I-M's parents clearly did fine since he found his way.

Blak

[Phatkatt_76]

WHOA !!!

I really respect everything you said MM !!


However, I believe that when two ppl of different races decide get married and have a family, it is their responsibility to teach and introduce their children to both cultures, as a positive thing, and explain ignorant @zzz stereotypes.

I really felt that post !! And I'm sorry that you had to go through any of that nonsense. Surely you know now, that those ppl who dismissed you for being you were never ur friends, and ur better off w/o them. :)

[saraphen]

Well said M_I_M!!

I know a lot of inter-racial couples who truly believe that society is becoming color-blind, and try to raise their children to believe that race doesn't matter. Then the kids get out in the real world and get the shock of their lives. Some can adjust, but others never seem to "get it," with regard to racial discrimination.

Parents who teach their kids that the world should be color blind are doing their kids a diservice, for a couple of reasons, one is that the world is not color blind and that is that.

Two, because the world has color sometimes when parents raise their kids to not see color they cant appreciate the history of different races and cultures that have been around for thousands of years, they will expect cultures to shed who they are to walk the middle of the road. Like I was sayin simply because my mother and father are two different things doesnt mean I am something new, my culture is not other people like me, my culture is the make up of my parents, canadian and black american, that doesnt compute to mulatto or anything similar to that, that is what it is my culture is my parents culture not some made up culture that doesnt want to recognize differences in culture.

The questions I hear are so stupid it is like some of these kids really and truly have never seen a black person or talked to one and they are black peoples.

Since I was about 14 or 15 I have been tryin to turn on the other mixed kids I know to the community they dont know, and more often than not it is the stereotypes and fears keep alot of people from embracing what is really half of who they are. They feel so comfortable with white people for so many reasons but they dont realize they were reaching out to white people when they gained that comfort, and I say to them feel as comfortable, reach out to the things you want to know, it may not always go the way you want it to, but the chances are you will be pleasantly surprised.

thanks for the response

[Cheese Biscuit]

((( M_I_M ))), excellent post (as usual). My brother married a lady from the Philippines and she will tell people that their children are black. My sister-in-law took the children to the Philippines about three or four years ago and they also spend time as a family with other families from the Philippines. The children are constantly learning about both cultures.


You are an excellent role model and I encourage you to keep on being you. Continue to do the work that you do so well. As far as the person that you believed to be your best friend, please know that a best friend is someone that would never turn their back on you, never abandon you. A best friend is someone that believes in you. I've lost two best friends. They died years apart. I'm grateful for the time that they were a part of my life and eventhough its been several years, I still miss them dearly.

[cinderellaaa]

i,m n,t black but i,m always thinking that i won,t marry but a black guy coz i adore them , i love anything that belong 2 black ppl .. thier way of thinkin , thier interests , everything ..