How Long Are Us "Good-Girls" Supposed To Wait? - AfroChat - African American

Moe17 · March 14th, 2008, 06:10 PM

Okay, I have never been in a relationship, Im still a virgin & I was never the girl who got every guy chansing after her in the street.
Im only 21, Im not saying that I want to up & jump into a serious relationship....
I just want to know how long am I supposed to wait before I experience dates or guys even acknowledge the fact that I exist?
I have heard every older person in the book, talk about my age, and why I should just wait for the right guy. But doesnt anyone realize that times are different now?
You have to approach guy first??? When the generation before mines, just had to teach us good-girls to wait for a guy to approach us first.

Not that I am a loose chick---fact that guys always talk about the P***y Plummet (which I think is bull)...I just dont understand how many girls do guys have to date or notice over me...
...before they realize that I do, exist, and I would like to date just like every other girl out their.

I even asked my cousin (who's around my age), why guys dont approach me...or why I have to wait for so long to be notice. He told me because I wasnt a loose-chick...I personally think that a load of bull-because their are dimes who get hit on, get to experience dates & I know ALL OF THEM dont give it up that easily!!!!!!!!!!

Curious1 · March 14th, 2008, 07:59 PM

I deleted my response...was too lengthy IMO...let me ask you this first..

List 5 Pro's about your appearance

List 5 Con's about Your Attitude

Honestly: Rate yourself

Heavyset (tall/short)
Med Heavy but curves (tall/short)
Average (tall/short)
Slender (tall/short)

List your usual facial expression..
Smiler
Frowner
Annoyed
Flirtatious

Do YOU think you Got Game??? Use your feminine wiles (for good??)

If a man speaks to you do you usually

Smile, speak back

Not smile, speak back

Frown and speak back

Not Frown and speak back with some "annoyed" drip to ya tone of voice..?

Ignore him because you don't feel like being bothered and are having a "rough day"....

I don't know you to know what type of persona or vibe you may be giving off......so sorry, felt I needed to ask a lil bit about ya...

matrixone05 · March 14th, 2008, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curious1

I deleted my response...was too lengthy IMO...let me ask you this first..

List 5 Pro's about your appearance

List 5 Con's about Your Attitude

Honestly: Rate yourself

Heavyset (tall/short)
Med Heavy but curves (tall/short)
Average (tall/short)
Slender (tall/short)

List your usual facial expression..
Smiler
Frowner
Annoyed
Flirtatious

Do YOU think you Got Game??? Use your feminine wiles (for good??)

If a man speaks to you do you usually

Smile, speak back

Not smile, speak back

Frown and speak back

Not Frown and speak back with some "annoyed" drip to ya tone of voice..?

Ignore him because you don't feel like being bothered and are having a "rough day"....

I don't know you to know what type of persona or vibe you may be giving off......so sorry, felt I needed to ask a lil bit about ya...

That's a great list of questions.

Moe17 · March 14th, 2008, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curious1

I deleted my response...was too lengthy IMO...let me ask you this first..
I don't know you to know what type of persona or vibe you may be giving off......so sorry, felt I needed to ask a lil bit about ya...

List 5 Pro's about your appearance
*Im always well groomed
*I dress nice (vintage, cargos, pumas, denim), almost like a skater, but still like a female
*I have a pretty smile
*I wear my make up right-not too much, very natural
*Also wear little jewelry (earrings usu.), a bracelet, ring, etc.

List 5 Con's about Your Attitude
*Usually quiet
*Judge a book by its cover
*Can be a little selfish
*Very "cautious"
*Sometimes I try to put on "Im better than you" facade (usu. when Im intimidated bysomeone)

Honestly: Rate yourself
Slender (tall 5'7")

List your usual facial expression..
My facial expression is usually "relaxed"
Smiler-when someone makes me laugh
Frowner-only if Im really upset that day
Annoyed-rarely
Flirtatious-rarely

Do YOU think you Got Game??? Use your feminine wiles (for good??)
No-my mother tells me to "smile" a little to get what I want...but I dont. LOL

If a man speaks to you do you usually

*I usually Smile, speak back

JABOOM · March 15th, 2008, 12:20 AM

Some times you just have to go out and get what you want....

Nothing wrong with a woman that goes after what she wants in life actually some men think that is very sexy.....I know I do

But just don't wait just be smart and talk to some one you like. Let it all flow and if you two connect celebrate

Moe17 · March 15th, 2008, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JABOOM

Some times you just have to go out and get what you want....

Nothing wrong with a woman that goes after what she wants in life actually some men think that is very sexy.....I know I do

But just don't wait just be smart and talk to some one you like. Let it all flow and if you two connect celebrate

Thanks

, might be a bit of a challenge, Im VERY shy!

Gorilla · March 15th, 2008, 02:54 AM

Maybe theres something about you thats off putting or you're just not noticing. I don't mean that as an insult, but its a crap shoot to try to offer someone advice like this without knowing them. Good luck though.

MadameX · March 15th, 2008, 03:13 AM

Proudbrothaman · March 19th, 2008, 02:39 PM

Thats a good point Gorilla, to decide why someone is struggling to meet someone without knowing them is hard. With that being said three things stood out to me; (1)being a little selfish,(2) judges book by its cover and(3)Sometimes I try to put on "Im better than you" facade. No one wants to be judged without a trial, we all want someone to know us inside and out before you make your decision. Being selfish is probably the worst part especially when you just meet someone. You have to make that person feel like if you two are going to make it, your going to do it together. Finally acting like your better then someone should be left to 15 year olds. Not a person who calls themself grown.

BuTtErPeCaN · March 19th, 2008, 04:49 PM

Not saying that you don't...

But treat yourself like you would want a man to treat you (complimenting yourself, dressing up, going to places outside of your normal alone, and etc). I know exactly how you feel because I briefly wondered about the same thing. I didn't really care about guys approaching me, but just often wondered because I'm very attractive (not conceited, but very confident and have high self-esteem). It was sooo funny because the girls, that I saw getting all the attention, were "hot" or pretty much chased after dudes. It was even funnier because the same guys that talked to the other chics and didn't come to me first eventually wanted to get to know me. I have been told they were just looking for fun, and they could tell I was not the kind of lady that would play those games. I have always been and continued to just be myself, loved myself, enjoyed myself and they soon came.... I have a really great gentleman, too.

BTW, I'm only 22.