Supervisor asked me to wear a wig.

[shawn1000]

I am new to the board and had to get this off my chest.

have been working temporarily on a job for 3 months. Recently, they decided to hire me permanently. My supervisor who is Black and I am Black asked me to wear a wig the next day prior to meeting with Human Resources. I was taken back when I was asked and just simply walked away.

My hair is single twisted. I work in a casual business office and have been told plenty of time by "whites" that they like my hair. Even when I talk to a lot of them they do not even look at my hair. My hair is not locked. It's single twisted and short.

I cannot and will not perm my hair because the last time I had a perm I was burned really bad to a point that I now a bald spot a the top of my head.

Needless to say, I did not wear a wig the next day. Before the meeting my supervisor went on to explain why she said what she said. Her reason for saying it was because and I quote, "I know how some people in this company think". I flat out told her I have never had a problem with anyone having a problem with my hair, White or Black. She is the first person to ever say something like that to me. I was hurt. I am not sure if I should say something to Human Resources about it or just let it go.

Needless to say I did get the job. I did let the Human Resource person know that I needed to talk to them after my meeting at a later date. I at least left the door open. My permanent start day is less than 5 days away.

The only issue I have now is that when my supervisor talks to me instead of looking at me I catch her looking at my hair. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.

What do you think?

Originally Posted by shawn1000

I am new to the board and had to get this off my chest.

have been working temporarily on a job for 3 months. Recently, they decided to hire me permanently. My supervisor who is Black and I am Black asked me to wear a wig the next day prior to meeting with Human Resources. I was taken back when I was asked and just simply walked away.

My hair is single twisted. I work in a casual business office and have been told plenty of time by "whites" that they like my hair. Even when I talk to a lot of them they do not even look at my hair. My hair is not locked. It's single twisted and short.

I cannot and will not perm my hair because the last time I had a perm I was burned really bad to a point that I now a bald spot a the top of my head.

Needless to say, I did not wear a wig the next day. Before the meeting my supervisor went on to explain why she said what she said. Her reason for saying it was because and I quote, "I know how some people in this company think". I flat out told her I have never had a problem with anyone having a problem with my hair, White or Black. She is the first person to ever say something like that to me. I was hurt. I am not sure if I should say something to Human Resources about it or just let it go.

Needless to say I did get the job. I did let the Human Resource person know that I needed to talk to them after my meeting at a later date. I at least left the door open. My permanent start day is less than 5 days away.

The only issue I have now is that when my supervisor talks to me instead of looking at me I catch her looking at my hair. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.

What do you think?

First off, welcome to ac.

It's difficult to discern if your supervisor intended to help or humiliate you by asking you to wear a wig. I assume it was to humiliate as if it were to help you they'd have stepped to you a bit differently and alot earlier...while you were still a temp. Go to your supervisor first and tell them exactly how you feel. If they are un-apologetic n' show no remorse or understanding (which I doubt) then go to human resources. Always try to handle things the right way n' go to the source of the problem first.

[jacqui]

Before going to anyone, first decide if she was trying to help you or hurt you. If you don't mind my suggesting, don't just walk away, ask people what do they mean and find out there intention so you will leave no room for assumptions.
If you must talk to her again then do that. I mean why get her in trouble if she was trying to only help you. Some times people intentions are well. I mean what is human resources going to do anyway? Fire here, suspend her and for what?
She may have issues with your hair and you will need to address that with her first.

I guess I don't see where she was trying to hurt you

[Sumyr]

Shawn, Welcome to the AC. I will have to concur with brotha Xenocide and sister Jacqui. Talk with your supervisor and find out her true intentions. It is possible that she was trying to help you. She has obviously been around for a while since she is part of management and knows the ins-n-outs of the company. One kind word of advice - they may have smiled in your face and told you they liked your hair only to go behind your back and say otherwise. Your supervisor may have overheard this conversation hence telling you to wear a wig. Just one scenario that I could come up with to explain her actions, but I may be totally off base with this.

In any event, good luck with your new permanent position! :)

[sephari]

welcome. here is another possibility for what was going on: she was trying to "help" you. only because she has bought into the racist, self hating notion that black hair is "ugly", "wild", "bad", etc. that so many of us have. and maybe she wasn't going to ask you to change your look completely, i.e. get a perm, but at least for this occasion you should look "presentable", which to her eyes you don't. but then again i could be wrong....



....(that's highly unlikely)

[Corals]

Now that you are becoming a permanent employee the supervisor seem to have a problem with your style of hair, suggesting that you wear a wig. I would tactfully ask her if she would like you to get her one while you are out shopping, or is she happy with her hairstyle. :whistling

[jamesfrmphilly]

i think she was trying to help in a misguided way.
you need to let her know that you will not be wearing wigs.
thnak her for her "help" but let her know that this is not what you need from her.

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by shawn1000

I am new to the board and had to get this off my chest.

have been working temporarily on a job for 3 months. Recently, they decided to hire me permanently. My supervisor who is Black and I am Black asked me to wear a wig the next day prior to meeting with Human Resources. I was taken back when I was asked and just simply walked away.

My hair is single twisted. I work in a casual business office and have been told plenty of time by "whites" that they like my hair. Even when I talk to a lot of them they do not even look at my hair. My hair is not locked. It's single twisted and short.

I cannot and will not perm my hair because the last time I had a perm I was burned really bad to a point that I now a bald spot a the top of my head.

Needless to say, I did not wear a wig the next day. Before the meeting my supervisor went on to explain why she said what she said. Her reason for saying it was because and I quote, "I know how some people in this company think". I flat out told her I have never had a problem with anyone having a problem with my hair, White or Black. She is the first person to ever say something like that to me. I was hurt. I am not sure if I should say something to Human Resources about it or just let it go.

Needless to say I did get the job. I did let the Human Resource person know that I needed to talk to them after my meeting at a later date. I at least left the door open. My permanent start day is less than 5 days away.

The only issue I have now is that when my supervisor talks to me instead of looking at me I catch her looking at my hair. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.

What do you think?

A warm welcome to the AC family! All replies above are well-informed and worth considering...wonderful advice from fellow-Afros who DO intend to be of help...
...by the way, people have been sued for the sort of unwelcome "suggestion"you've encountered (the suggestion that we[Black men and women] change our appearance to conform to a more "anglo" or "mainstream" standard). The fact that your supervisor is also Black does not exempt her from the rules of workplace conduct.
Though it is possible she thought she was "helping" you with her offensive and inappropriate comment, the fact remains that you have the right to exist in your place of work FREE from intimidation and scrutiny re:your essential Black-SELF (we are clearly not concerned with modes of dress or personal hygiene here). If this "issue" persists, consider contacting an attorney who specializes in employee relations/civil liberties. Hopefully it won't come to that, but trust me---people have sued for less (and WON!). Congrats on the new job! :)

Peace.

PS: In case you were wondering---yes, I am an opinionated Ivy league revolutionary who would lay down my life for the salvation of our People! Most other folk here are far more relaxed and sweet than I am...but for some reason, they put up with me anyway! :cool:

[Corals]

Why run to file a lawsuit, the supervisor simply needs to be put in her place. Everything was acceptable while you were on a temporary basis, so what is the fuss. As others has suggested, simply ask her why you need to wear a wig. Whilst you are asking her that question, scrutinise her head to see if she is wearing one. She will get the message and respect that you are an individual. While you are at it ask her if there is a dress code at your place of work.

Don't let anyone mold you any what they want you to be.

[Diva810]

Hello. First of all, the best way to get to the bottom of a situation like this is discussing it calmy with the parties involved. Be honest and direct and stand your ground. This is what should always be the first step. Never give anyone a reason to think you're a fool.

I believe that your manager does have a problem with your hair. For some reason, she doesn't find it attractive. However, that is not your problem. Make it clear that you will wear your hair as you see fit as long as it goes within the company's policy.

Not only, does she have a problem with your hair, she is one of the folk she claimed to be trying to protect you from. She went about "helping" you the wrong way. I would hold off on going to HR until you talk to her and make your stand. Don't burn bridges over a misunderstanding, no matter how hurt you are. Sometimes, things can be worked out and we go overboard and mess it all up. Take the higher road and wear your hair however you choose. I'm sure it's lovely.