Just Need to Vent Afro Chat Family……

[Sumyr]

These are just some random things I’ve had bottled up inside and I must get out before I explode……..

1. How come guys think women are so stupid? I’ve met several guys over the past month and all have said they are NOT seeing anyone. How can this be when in our area there are 10 women to every man? Then there were two guys that got busted for drugs; so that is 20 more women as you get their 10. So, that’s 30 women and they don’t have anyone??? Yeah, right. Like moma always said – never talk to a man that doesn’t have anyone as why doesn’t he have a woman, which brings me to my next quip.

2. Then there are guys who have a woman, but you hear the same old line……. “I have an old lady but we aren’t on good terms", blah, blah, blah, blah. I met one guy a few years ago, and I will never forget this meeting. He was trying to put his “mack” on me. So, I ask do you have a woman. He said, “Yes, I have a girl.” As the conversation progressed I was feeling uneasy so I kept asking – you’re not married. He replied, “No”. Well, you know me the inquisitive one, I keep persisting and he finally admits, “Well I have a wife.” I went off – I said you didn’t even have enough respect for her to tell me you were married. Why should I talk to you behind this as if you didn’t respect her and she’s your wife, why would you respect me!!!!! I saw him a few months ago and he has nothing but respect for me now.

3. If you have a woman, what am I for!?1?!?!? I refuse to be treated like some “dealership whore”. You are not going to come by and test drive my @ss and put all these damn miles on me without making an investment or purchase. Just casually drop by and drive me over and over and over while my Blue Book Value steadily declines – I don’t think so. If you want to drive this car, make a down payment and at the very least – lease it with the option to buy later (invest in a relationship and if every thing works out we will consider marriage.)

4. Am I so wrong for not inviting a guy to my church? I know, I know – we go every where else. But my thoughts are I don’t want him coming to my church unless he is the one – engaged that is. I don’t want to be dating someone, we break up, and now someone else is at church. Then we break up and …….you see what I mean. Don’t you?!?!? :)

5. I had lunch with one of my Latin girl friends yesterday and her man who is my lil bro’ (best male friend). Her family owns a restaurant and I asked why I didn’t see her brother cooking in the restaurant? Then she said – “Oh, the men in our culture don’t cook.” I said , “What!!!!” She said, my brother, father, cousins, uncles, etc – they don’t cook. The women always cook, clean etc. I said what if its late when you get in – she said then they will just eat out. I said that’s BS. Of course her man, which is my lil bro’, is just beaming as he is in heaven because she is exactly what he has been looking for. She said the women enjoy it and it is a non-issue with them as it’s expected and has been for generations. The women don’t mind. I told her you are in America and our customs are different. If I get in late, then he had better cook or at least get it started or he won’t eat. My lil bro’ said he was going to keep her away from me before I taint her with my “Modern American Women Customs.” Truthfully, I don’t agree with it, but I’m not going to try to transform her. I can respect that and her culture. I just told her that I wouldn’t be traveling to El Salvador anytime soon – no matter how beautiful the beaches and scenery are.

6. Oh, then there are women who hang around with a man for 5, 10, 15 years in hopes he will leave the other woman. NEWS FLASH….. YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN!!! If he can’t be there for you when you’re sick, when someone dies in your family and you need him there as support, for holidays – all of them, when you need your vehicle cleaned or the oil changed, or you need him to go to the mall with you - then you don’t need him. What sense does it make for his woman to be riding around in a new Lexus that he paid for and he can’t even give you $20 to put gas in your 1998 Camry. But he keeps telling you that they are on bad terms and “she’s moving out soon.” They just moved into a brand new two story house and your light bill is two months past due. Wake up and smell the reality!!!

That’s it for now. Whew – I really feel so much better. Thanks for listening! :)

[LadyDivine]

I feel bettah 'cuz you got dat offa yo chest also!

Feeling ya sista on erry point from "A" tah "Z"

[urfan2c]

. If you have a woman, what am I for!?1?!?!? I refuse to be treated like some “dealership whore”. You are not going to come by and test drive my @ss and put all these damn miles on me without making an investment or purchase. Just casually drop by and drive me over and over and over while my Blue Book Value steadily declines – I don’t think so. If you want to drive this car, make a down payment and at the very least – lease it with the option to buy later (invest in a relationship and if every thing works out we will consider marriage.)

SO true I wish more ppl thought about this, b/c i've tried to explain this to some friends

I don't agree with the church thing, it should be more about their soul than you being comfortable...in turn that'll help your soul.

and #6 please go talk to the women who work in the office with my mother!! In a office of like 20 my mom and 2 other women are the only ones who haven't slept with their boss.

[robbboy2003]

You are not wrong for demanding your respect sis. :) Understand a good many men try some of the antics that you're stating here,because they're ignorant,or don't get it.

For some it's the game within the game of life to get into a girls drawers,with no intention of a committment. It's obviously worked to an extent look at the mess of loving and lasting relationships.

A simple solution is love and respect,along with discernment and steadfastness to each other. Accepting the good and bad of each other,and allowing and wanting the growth of each other.

Know without a shadow of a doubt the type of individual,that you want to give the greatest gift to yourself. You know some of us are greedy, selfish and are about everything,but a good choice in a long term relationship,but still you choose.

Again, understand the third paragraph,especially discernment,because without it you can make a terrible mistake. You are right, you're a top of the line auto carry yourself as such and demand the same in who you're involved with.
Have your checkout sheet in hand,and make good choices,because it could potentially be someone you could spend fifty or so years with. That could be ugly,if you can't stand the SOB let alone give your body up ten thousand times! Ouch!

Earlier, I stated leave room for growth,even men who become men instead of male or predisposed to flat out foolishness. Personally, I don't think most people know sh#t from shnoola until they reach twentyfive,but that's for another time.

Use your intuition good sense, pray and accept nothing but the person,who has the qualities,that you think could travel a life journey with,and try and out love one another. You may end with a love that builds and is a envy.

Peace, harmony and Blessings!

[jamesfrmphilly]

um, is it safe for me to come out now?

[Sumyr]

Urfan2c - That's messed up about the women who work with your mom. How can you sleep with your boss and know that he has slept with others in the office as well.....ewwwww.

Earlier, I stated leave room for growth,even men who become men instead of male or predisposed to flat out foolishness.

Robbboy - as usual good sound advice. Sometimes I forget this tad bit of information - that even though they are men they are subject to shortcomings. I've just always thought they should come perfect already - like us women - kidding. But I am working on this about myself and how to be more forgiving and separating what is worth forgiving and what is worth moving on from.

Why don't men come with instructions like Pillsbury cake mix?!?!?

Originally Posted by Sumyr

These are just some random things I’ve had bottled up inside and I must get out before I explode……..

1. How come guys think women are so stupid? I’ve met several guys over the past month and all have said they are NOT seeing anyone. How can this be when in our area there are 10 women to every man? Then there were two guys that got busted for drugs; so that is 20 more women as you get their 10. So, that’s 30 women and they don’t have anyone??? Yeah, right. Like moma always said – never talk to a man that doesn’t have anyone as why doesn’t he have a woman, which brings me to my next quip.

2. Then there are guys who have a woman, but you hear the same old line……. “I have an old lady but we aren’t on good terms", blah, blah, blah, blah. I met one guy a few years ago, and I will never forget this meeting. He was trying to put his “mack” on me. So, I ask do you have a woman. He said, “Yes, I have a girl.” As the conversation progressed I was feeling uneasy so I kept asking – you’re not married. He replied, “No”. Well, you know me the inquisitive one, I keep persisting and he finally admits, “Well I have a wife.” I went off – I said you didn’t even have enough respect for her to tell me you were married. Why should I talk to you behind this as if you didn’t respect her and she’s your wife, why would you respect me!!!!! I saw him a few months ago and he has nothing but respect for me now.

3. If you have a woman, what am I for!?1?!?!? I refuse to be treated like some “dealership whore”. You are not going to come by and test drive my @ss and put all these damn miles on me without making an investment or purchase. Just casually drop by and drive me over and over and over while my Blue Book Value steadily declines – I don’t think so. If you want to drive this car, make a down payment and at the very least – lease it with the option to buy later (invest in a relationship and if every thing works out we will consider marriage.)

Afternoon Sumyr, glad you got all that off your chest n’ are feelin’ better now. I should start usin’ this thing (The Vent), don’t think I have yet.

I do not quite understand quips 1 n’ 3, they appear contradicting to me. The former part of #1 makes sense, you don’t want guys lyin’ to you, right on. But it seems as though if one were to tell you (truthfully) that he didn’t have anyone you’d either, a) not believe ‘em, b) disqualify ‘em for not having one, or c) all of the above. It appears as though you wouldn’t get into anything with a single man…but would with a man who’s already taken? OK, can’t argue wit’ Momma. But later you ask if he has a woman then what would you be for? If you’re only messin’ w/men who are already taken or dealing with another woman on any level (or is that not the case n' I'm interpreting this all the wrong way?) I think it would be kinda obvious what you’d be for.

I’m just trying to make sense of it all; hopefully you can help me out w/that.

[jamesfrmphilly]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

Why don't men come with instructions like Pillsbury cake mix?!?!?

well, if you stir me up and put me in your hot oven, i will grow on ya.........

Dayum Sumyr, you that upset huh?:wink:

#1) I'm with Xen on this one. I was confused by your comment. I am a single man- with no interest in starting another relationship with any woman right now- and if I approach a woman who dismisses me because I don't already have a lady, well, I'm not going to see that as my problem. I'd look at you some type of way, like what kind of female are you where you'd want me only if I were attatched? That would show me a flaw in your character that would not be endearing.

#2-3,6) I'm with you here. I've never understood the "other woman" syndrome. You're always gonna get the short end of that stick. Why waste your time?

#4) I see your point about church. I also see Urfan2c's side of that too. Maybe to cut down on any potential issues with that it might be nice to visit other area churches together on occassion.

#5) I'm not going to diss anyone's traditions. If you think women are only to do this or that and men can only do this or that, well that's on you. My grandmother worked before she married to help her parents support her many brothers and sisters but when she married my grandfather he didn't want her to work and she didn't. She has been a homemaker since 1954 and she loves it and we love her for it, among other things. But she taught her boys how to cook. Her reasoning was that they may not always have a woman to cook for them so what are they gonna do? Starve? And it's a good thing too because neither of her sons married women who knew their way around a kitchen very well. I personally want a woman who can cook, and loves to cook, and doesn't mind cooking majority of meals because, while I can do my thing in the kitchen very well, I hate to cook so I'd rather she do that. If that's a problem it can certainly be compromised on.

Just my feedback Sumyr. I know you were just dying to get my take on things.:D

[MissDD138]

Sumyr I feel you sis

But don't be so hard on the other woman, some women don't mind being the other woman, in my case I was young dumb & just didn't know any better. I was the woman whe hung aroung 5yrs thinking he would make me the one, well he did get a divorce but guess what, HE MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE. It was then that I woke up. I hate that it took so long & it hurt so much, but some people learn their lessons best the hard way.

After that I pretty much feel like you. Its not that I don't trust men at all, I just trust them until they make me not trust them.

But I love me, I am confident, attractive, & when the one comes he'll come. Being single is hard sometimes, people (yes men and women for you single brothas) are so deceptive, you have to be careful about who you let in your world. I once met a guy who lied about his whole life. Me being the inquisitive one that I am eventually found out the truth. This Negro said he was a cop, he wasn't, he said he played college football for Michigan State, he didn't & he said he played 3 yrs pro ball for the Raiders, the roster never seen him.

Sumyr honey, I know you're fed up, but keep your head up :)