This topic is probably going to ruffle some feathers so I would like to lay down some ground rules before proceeding. The first is that I believe that as mature adults, we should all be able to express our opinions without being rude to each other. If someone is remotely rude to me, I won’t indulge them with a response, because between my studies and brainstorming on other issues, I have no such time.
That being said, two weeks ago I went out to a restaurant with a white female friend of mine. We were talking quietly and laughing and just having a good time when she asked to be excused so she could use the ladies room. So for a few minutes I was alone. Some black woman who I had never seen before came up to my table, looked me in the eyes and said (I’m paraphrasing as best as I can) “so you brought this white woman over here so that she can spend your money huh? I know black men like you, you are the type that upon making a dollar wants to spend it all on the white man’s daughter. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, seated here spending $200 on dinner for a white woman? Is it because black women aren’t good enough? What is with the low self esteem brotha?” I was so shocked I just stared at her speechless. Here I was, in a lovely restaurant, with a female who I grew up in the same neighborhood with, who I had been friends with for ten years and we are minding our own business and some crazy black female comes up to me to say what? What pissed me off even more is that when she walked back to her table I noticed that she was there with 3 female friends, who were black and who were giggling and had clearly enjoyed that their friend had come over to “confront” me.
Needless to say, I have never dated a non black woman in my life. The lady I dined with is my best female friend and she paid for her own dinner and I paid for mine. However,
what is it that bothers some sistas so much when they see a black man with a white woman? Any successful black man will tell you that
the vast majority of well educated, wealthy black men marry and date black women not to try to appease you, but because it is a fact. Do you believe the truth or do you believe the lies that the media feeds you? Yaaams touched on this topic in the context of black basketball players, to show that the majority of them have black wives somes years ago. They noted that the media will focus more on the black man,white woman couple than they do on a successful black man/black woman couple. What do black women believe, the facts, or the gossip which they spread amongst themselves because of what the white controlled media would have them believe?
Why is it that I have never heard anyone refer to Heather Headley who is married to a white man as a sellout? Why don’t people call the rapper Eve who is dating a white man a sellout? Why is Tumi Makgabo, the South African cnn international news reporter who married a Norwegian shipping magnate not a sellout? What about Iman? What about Naomi Campbell who has dated more white men than black since she found fame? Are these women sellouts?
If they are, I’ve never heard a black woman say so.
Furthermore,
why do a lot of black women care about the dating choices of a minority of black men when black women are also dating outside of their race?. The truth is that black men date white women at a much higher rate than black women date white men. However
interracial marriage statistics tell us that the number of black men married to white women is 2 to 2-5 times higher than there are black women married to white men. That tells us that though black men date outside the race at a much higher rate than black women, when it comes to marriage, the disparity becomes much smaller especially when one considers the fact that most black women are not willing to consider dating outside the race.
That being said
why should anyone be bothered by who someone else is dating? Why? Don’t people have enough work of their own to do? What is with all the anger concerning other peoples business? I don’t get it. Black women of afrochat, please help me understand it. Thanks.
People who can't mind their own business
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