What would you do?? - Page 2 - AfroChat - African American

catwoman · April 13th, 2006, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RanRan

I was in a similiar situation almost a year ago and I intervened when a female was being roughed up in public by her boyfriend. But I caught a lot of flack from people who knew me and heard about it cuz they felt in this day and time it is stupid and dangerous to do that kind of thing. But I couldn't stand by and watch this young lady getting her azs whooped in broad daylight, on a busy street in front of dozens of people while none of those folks made any moves to get involved. Maybe if the circumstance presented itself again I'd do it differently because there are a lot of folks in their grave having intervened with good intentions. I don't know though. How can you really stand around and watch something like that??? I just can't.

I feel the same way. Question: aren't we just a little bit accountable for each other???

I just keep thinking about that Stevie Wonder/Babyface videoclip "How Long, ..." remember that?

Nudimmud9 · April 13th, 2006, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catwoman

I feel the same way. Question: aren't we just a little bit accountable for each other???

I just keep thinking about that Stevie Wonder/Babyface videoclip "How Long, ..." remember that?

Yhea we are responsible for others. But only when we've been asked directly and only when we've made an explicit & definitive choice to take that direct request and responsibility on.

I've thought about the circumstances I've encountered in the past. And if I'm honest, it hurt pretty good to walk away from a situation like that and not say or do something. But the fact of the matter is, it ain't my business. And if I try to make it my business, that's when I start walking that very thin line between concern for my brother or sister and attempting to control them.

shankems2000 · April 13th, 2006, 07:41 PM

I probably would have left like you did. It wouldn't feel good, but what if he had a knife or something on him? If you intervened you could have been typing this thread topic up from a hospital bed with 12 stitches on your side.

April 14th, 2006, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nudimmud9

Yhea we are responsible for others. But only when we've been asked directly and only when we've made an explicit & definitive choice to take that direct request and responsibility on.

I've thought about the circumstances I've encountered in the past. And if I'm honest, it hurt pretty good to walk away from a situation like that and not say or do something. But the fact of the matter is, it ain't my business. And if I try to make it my business, that's when I start walking that very thin line between concern for my brother or sister and attempting to control them.

I don't think it's control or anything, more like concern. You see someone needing help must one wait to be asked before intervening?

Nudimmud9 · April 14th, 2006, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RanRan

I don't think it's control or anything, more like concern. You see someone needing help must one wait to be asked before intervening?

I understand what you’re saying, however, the only reasons I refer to it as control is the following:

1. These women (and sometimes men) aren’t being abused for the first time, by the time you see them getting beat in public

2. The individual who's getting thrown a beating, probably has some deep seeded issues going on within them. That's why they're taking a butt whipping on an intermittent basis in the first place. They probably wouldn't hesitate to turn on you, if you mess with their masochistic fix for the day, week, month or however often they’re accustomed to getting beat on.

3. You got to assume everyone is a threat to your physical well being in a circumstance like that. Everyone from the man or woman getting beat on; to a child whose bearing witness to it regularly. You have no idea what's going through these folk’s heads in the moment or even most of the time for that matter. I think we'd all agree, regardless of word usage on my part. THESE FOLK GOT SERIOUS PERSONAL CHALLENGES WHOEVER THEY ARE.

Finally, based on my first hand experience with point 3 specifically, YOU BETTER WAIT FOR THEM TO ASK!!!! Hell, even after their initial request sometimes folk act like you're imposing on them by asking questions or checking on them. The bottom line is abused folks make a choice EVERYDAY to stay abused. The only time they don't want to be abused is when they use the words "HELP ME!" And as I said before, even then sometimes they act like you're the one who needs help cause you stay the course with them. It don't make no sense, it certainly isn't rational, it just is it seems. As for you RanRan, your heart's REALLY in the right place obviously. The only thing I say to you is, try to make sure your heart doesn't overide your head to your VERY REAL potential physical detriment.

goodcookinmama · April 15th, 2006, 12:07 AM

**** i whould have got the hell out of there and called the police at least to stop him from hurting her any more and i whould not have been the last one to leave there either
shoot i whould been grabing all of my stuff as fast as i chould have

Caramel-G · April 15th, 2006, 07:58 PM

I seen an incident like this last night ! I was in mcdonalds after work grabing something to eat, and their was this couple and a male friend with them. They had obviously been drinking from their loud behaviour but it wasn't unusual has it was a friday night and everyone was going to the clubs. The girl and guy were arguing, and the guy was kinda working her temper up by saying stupid things to her, so her being under the influence of alcohol started to curse really badly at him, and she was in his face, cause he was threatening to hit her (but you know how some guys are like, when they threaten to hit the girl to shut her up, which is wrong) So she starts getting at him she pushes him a lil bit cause she was sick of his threats, and then suddenly he grabs her by her throat and rams her into the mcdonalds counter while holding her at the neck ! I was like WHOA ! So he starts to walk away, and then he's irrate and he throws his burger right at her face but it goes onto her clothes and ruins her clothes. She got mad and is crying but then runs after him out mcdonalds and is fighting and arguing with him in the street. Luckily there was afew police by and they calm the situation down, but I felt so sorry for the girl because the guy was just aggravating her to boiling point, and then she was crying in the street wiht her friend.

Chelbe · April 15th, 2006, 08:21 PM

It is hard to just sit around and do nothing, but I learn for experience to not put myself in the mess of anybody else. I would have mind my own business and called for help if anything.

lizaa · April 16th, 2006, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nudimmud9

You did what was right for you in the moment. I can't knock you for not trying to do something. As for me, I don't know what I would have done. That's just a really odd predicament to be in truth be told.

Maybe I would think to call the police, but then again, the judicial system isn’t all the concerned about rehabilitating damaged people; just making money off damaged people. It's just a sad state of affairs all around.

I so agree with you on this ..I'd call the so-called police just in case someone would get seriously hurt..what can you do ??? DAMNED IF YOU DO AND DAMNED IF YOU DON'T.

Serenity4Ever · April 30th, 2006, 09:39 PM

I woud have ignored them and gone about my business. Besides, women have a history of staying in abusive relationships. So why involve myself into their drama and try to play the "shero" when more than likely, she'll just continue to be with him? This is why I could never be a social worker.... I would feel like my work would be in vain based on those type of statisics and that all of my attempted help would be meaningless.