how whould you feel if one of your best friends - AfroChat - African American

goodcookinmama · February 15th, 2006, 01:35 AM

did not come to your mamas funeral

i will just leave it at that i got a call from her after she found out but nothing else i am pissed at her i have been there for this girl many a times this hurt and from hurt to anger please tell me how whould you handle this matter we go way back and i just dont understand it every one asking where was she
thats how close we are at least i thought so

MadameX · February 15th, 2006, 05:11 AM

Well, if my best friend didn't attend my mother's funeral, I would definitely be disappointed.

stiab3 · February 15th, 2006, 05:32 AM

I would have to know more info before I can really comment on the situation.

When my best friend's father died, she didn't go to the funeral. I was expecting her to go and I would've gone with her. But she didn't even go herself.

On the other hand when my grandmother died, I was surprised (pleasantly) to see that one of my friends (who had heard about it but not from me) showed up at the funeral. I wasn't expecting it.

Different people have different attitudes to funerals.

s3

saraphen · February 15th, 2006, 10:48 AM

gcm, I'm sorry you're having to go through this on top of losing your Mom. You need to give your friend time to explain. Some people just can't handle funerals, and don't go to any. I'm inclined to be judgemental about it, but I let it go. When my father-in-law passed last year, my husband's daughter didn't even go to her own grandfather's funeral. Hubster just let it go, because she has always been that way.

charliekilothree · February 15th, 2006, 11:01 AM

My condolences GCM. I am sorry that you have to deal with this issue on top of your loss. I don't know how I would feel about something like this until I sat down with my friend to get an understanding of why they chose not to attend. There could be a valid reason on their part and you might feel differently after talking about it. I hope things work out well for you.

MadameX · February 15th, 2006, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stiab3

When my best friend's father died, she didn't go to the funeral. I was expecting her to go and I would've gone with her. But she didn't even go herself.
Different people have different attitudes to funerals.

Of course, you do have a point. Sometimes people have different views on dealth.

GCM, I also want to give you my condolences as well.

deej42 · February 15th, 2006, 11:06 AM

condolences to you....your friend just may have issues with going to a funeral dont hold it against her until u talk with her.....my prayers are with u and your family.

goodcookinmama · February 15th, 2006, 01:35 PM

thanks every one this has helped me think more about this and i will just wait for her to call again and see what she has to say at first i wanted to call her and cuss her out but i was to hurt too this makes me wonder about our friendship ya know we are talking years of friendship this just might end it. if i can,t forgive her or she better have a damm good reason

BlackAngelfish · February 15th, 2006, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodcookinmama

thanks every one this has helped me think more about this and i will just wait for her to call again and see what she has to say at first i wanted to call her and cuss her out but i was to hurt too this makes me wonder about our friendship ya know we are talking years of friendship this just might end it. if i can,t forgive her or she better have a damm good reason

Take your time goodcookinmama - I believe you are dealing with a lot right now, and you may just need to dedicate your time and attention to your family and the people who are sharing in your lost.

However, if I may be so bold as to say, please don't wait on your friend to call you - call her! Sometimes good people make bad choices and need to be given a way back in. If you miss your friend and want to share this with her please do, you will be surprise, what kind of a response, "I was just thinking about you", may bring."

Take care

BAF

Nudimmud9 · February 15th, 2006, 05:36 PM

It all depends on communication you've had before hand, when you starting looking to hold folks accountable for different things.

Death is a tricky subject. A lot of people see death a lot of different ways. Some look at death as a time to celebrate and rejoice the transition of a soul. Others see it as a time to mourn. It really all depends on communication and the agreements that stem from that.

All that being said, I'm sorry about your mother's physical passing. I realize I have nothing to do with this, nor do I have a vested interest in the physical life your mother lived.

But, for what it’s worth, as per what I know and believe your mother's living it up right about now. She's actually starting to really LIVE TRUE LIFE as we chat on this thread. My condolences and I wish you a HEALTHY & speedy recovery regarding the physical lose of your mother.