how whould you feel if one of your best friends

[goodcookinmama]

hey yall just a update i still have not heard from my friend so to me its like she knows she was wrong so right now i am like f it if thats how she is then i dont want to be her friend any more asta la vista bitch i never knew her to be so selfish and after all that i have done for her azzz i am passed pissed off now. i know that i will see her on juneteenth
down here where i live cause the bitch comes every year hey yall this has truley hurt me i will never forgive her *** for this she was not sick or nothing knowing her *** she was probley knee deep in something and if my mama was here she whould tell me to leave it alone baby but this i cant .my mama treated her *** just like a daughter and she chould have shown respect for my mama and now that i think about it we have not been that close since i told her that i was divorceing my soon to be x husband huh nah i dont think she whould go there .but why i just want to know why she did not show up me and this girl go way way back but i cant bring my self to call her selfish *** she should have called me by now but nada

[Caramel-G]

What I think you should do is just tell her straight how you despite whatever her excuse. Even though SHE may not beable to deal with funerals, sometimes people should let there fears or guards down to help others like she should have helped you. Personally, in my own experiance I find it hard to go to funerals and I try not to, but i know i have to be there for others and the person who passed. Some people just can't deal with the whole entity of death and sadness in one room, and also the buriel, despite whoever's funeral it is. Myself, if i go to a funeral, I will just sit through the church ceremony and then leave after that because I don't want to remember the image fo the person in the casket...I want to remember them at their happy times in life. So, despite what happend, you have to be also open to her emotions, has she should be to yours.

[mandingo]

Originally Posted by goodcookinmama

hey yall just a update i still have not heard from my friend so to me its like she knows she was wrong so right now i am like f it if thats how she is then i dont want to be her friend any more asta la vista bitch i never knew her to be so selfish and after all that i have done for her azzz i am passed pissed off now. i know that i will see her on juneteenth
down here where i live cause the bitch comes every year hey yall this has truley hurt me i will never forgive her *** for this she was not sick or nothing knowing her *** she was probley knee deep in something and if my mama was here she whould tell me to leave it alone baby but this i cant .my mama treated her *** just like a daughter and she chould have shown respect for my mama and now that i think about it we have not been that close since i told her that i was divorceing my soon to be x husband huh nah i dont think she whould go there .but why i just want to know why she did not show up me and this girl go way way back but i cant bring my self to call her selfish *** she should have called me by now but nada

I am sorry about your loss GCM. I hope you find a positive way to complete your grieving. It's definitely a process that one has to go through with or without our friends. The problem is most of us don't know how to complete our grief. Even worse those around us don't know how to help us in our grieving process. They say and do all the wrong things but it's not always from bad intent.

This friend that you are upset with may not really be a friend to you but I would suggest that you make sure you are deciding that based on what the friendship brings into your life and not one incident. Friendship is a two way street and if your friendship is real you have to give your friend a chance to make errors no matter how large they may seem to you at that moment. None of us is perfect.

If you have difficulty with your loss I suggest you read a book on dealing with grief or seek grief counseling. I have seen too many people attempt to deal with it on their own and allow it to negatively affect their life because they didn't posses the proper skills to do so. Most people have a need to reach a state of completeness with their loss and never do. Ignoring it, keeping busy, keeping your feelings to yourself, commiserating with others who have had a similar circumstance may offer you some comfort but will not help you reach a place of tranquility with your loss.

I humbly offer my opinion knowing that each situation is unique and I have no understanding of what you may or may not be going through. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you nothing but the best!

[goodcookinmama]

Originally Posted by mandingo

I am sorry about your loss GCM. I hope you find a positive way to complete your grieving. It's definitely a process that one has to go through with or without our friends. The problem is most of us don't know how to complete our grief. Even worse those around us don't know how to help us in our grieving process. They say and do all the wrong things but it's not always from bad intent.

This friend that you are upset with may not really be a friend to you but I would suggest that you make sure you are deciding that based on what the friendship brings into your life and not one incident. Friendship is a two way street and if your friendship is real you have to give your friend a chance to make errors no matter how large they may seem to you at that moment. None of us is perfect.

If you have difficulty with your loss I suggest you read a book on dealing with grief or seek grief counseling. I have seen too many people attempt to deal with it on their own and allow it to negatively affect their life because they didn't posses the proper skills to do so. Most people have a need to reach a state of completeness with their loss and never do. Ignoring it, keeping busy, keeping your feelings to yourself, commiserating with others who have had a similar circumstance may offer you some comfort but will not help you reach a place of tranquility with your loss.

I humbly offer my opinion knowing that each situation is unique and I have no understanding of what you may or may not be going through. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you nothing but the best!

thank you but i am so angry right now that i dont know what to do

[Phatkatt_76]

Originally Posted by goodcookinmama

did not come to your mamas funeral

i will just leave it at that i got a call from her after she found out but nothing else i am pissed at her i have been there for this girl many a times this hurt and from hurt to anger please tell me how whould you handle this matter we go way back and i just dont understand it every one asking where was she
thats how close we are at least i thought so

Try not to be too upset mama ! I'm very sorry to hear about ur loss. I lost my father at a very young age and one of my best friends called me weeks later stating that she just couldn't find the words to say.

It's hard as heck and we do have high expectations for those close to us, but everyone deals with tragedy differently. Some folks shut down completely, and some stand strong. Just talk to her about about it or write her a letter. If she's a true friend, I'm sure she'll be glad to clear the air and attempt to make things right. Unfortunately, it's possible to learn more lessons through death than we do through life.

After my fathers death I learned the true meaning of self, and to keep my expectations of others ( friends and family ) to a strict minimum.

[goodcookinmama]

Originally Posted by Phatkatt_76

Try not to be too upset mama ! I'm very sorry to hear about ur loss. I lost my father at a very young age and one of my best friends called me weeks later stating that she just couldn't find the words to say.

It's hard as heck and we do have high expectations for those close to us, but everyone deals with tragedy differently. Some folks shut down completely, and some stand strong. Just talk to her about about it or write her a letter. If she's a true friend, I'm sure she'll be glad to clear the air and attempt to make things right. Unfortunately, it's possible to learn more lessons through death than we do through life.

After my fathers death I learned the true meaning of self, and to keep my expectations of others ( friends and family ) to a strict minimum.

thats about the way i am going to keep it from now on

[Chelbe]

Honestly, the circumstance mixed with the selfishness in me would most likely make me question our friendship. I would not be in any state of mind to come up with a valid enough reason as to why my closest friend did not show up in my time of need no matter how genuine the reasoning may have been. Of course, this is a in the moment type of thing, somewhere down the line I may have become somewhat understanding to a point. Take Care GCM.

[lizaa]

Originally Posted by goodcookinmama

did not come to your mamas funeral

i will just leave it at that i got a call from her after she found out but nothing else i am pissed at her i have been there for this girl many a times this hurt and from hurt to anger please tell me how whould you handle this matter we go way back and i just dont understand it every one asking where was she
thats how close we are at least i thought so

Everybody can't handle funerals, maybe even though you were there for her, she tried mentally to get herself ready for the funeral and just knew she couldn't handle it herself..was your mom and her close ? I hope by now ,she has spoken to you regarding this,I just recently came back and got to this late..so sorry for yourlost in which is

Heaven's gain GOD AND JESUS LOVES YOU.

I just recently lost my Dad and people I expected to pay their respects did not..so try not to be surprise at what others do especially close associates-which one day may become your enemy.

[goodcookinmama]

yae her and my mama was close they shared a lot of laughs and my mama was there for her cause her own family was not she was with a man that they did not like so my mama took her under her wing we told each other ever thing did a lot of things togather i am so MADDDDD at her her family told us a lot about her but this was when we were in junior high so we passed it off cause we did not see any of these things in her my mama told her she chould always come to her for any thing and she did sometimes whats got me is not one word have i heeard from her *** i called just to see if she whould anwser the phone and she did and that pissed me off more idid not say anything to her i chouldn,t so i hung up but it just stays on my mind i want her to know that she was wrong but i just cant talk to her right now maybe never againwhen this bitch was in and accicdent i was there for her she was hurt pretty bad and she needed as lot of help so not only was i there but so was my family and we had to geal with the dummy that she is with but no matter what we stayed bty her side through it all so i really want to know WHY WASENT SHE BY MINE oh **** i haqve got to go and take a walk around the lake for a while to cool off iam just to up set right now

[Teddybear2764]

LEAVE IT AT THAT SHE WILL NEED YOU ONE DAY, WHEN THAT DAY COMES REMIND HER OF HOW YOU FELT WHEN SHE WASN'T THEIR FOR YOU.