Can Blacks be Friends with Whites?

[delzakiya]

Last night a young lady’s father died from Prostate Cancer. In the midst of calming her down, a white staff member seemed to be insensitive about her reaction to the death with his words. His words started a conversation among four black women about the possibility of friendship with whites.
The general consensus was that friendship was not the word, but tolerance. Of course, the idea was that the two would be friends until something went wrong, then the black person would be wrong because of their color.

This is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. If two people are angry and color comes out in the argument then there is more to deal with then what made the argument was about. I have been friends of all colors, ethnicities, etc, and to be honest, I hear more of the racist views from my own black people then any other culture.
It is not only limited to the white people, but educated black people or anyone that is not exactly like them.
Please don’t think I am naïve enough to think that there are no racist, however, I wonder if we keep sending the message to ourselves that we are not good enough to be friends with. I wonder if we believe that we are the rapist, murderers, etc, and therefore, we will always have reason to be ashamed.
I do not think so; I love some of the real black leaders of the last generation. We are a strong people with some weaknesses that for some reason we can’t seem to acknowledge. One of them is our own racism.

If I cant be friends with white people I dont know wht to call all the white people I thought were my friends.

[Phatkatt_76]

First off, I think everyone has some racist views. However, I've found in my own experiences that whites are more likely to keep the way they REALLY feel hidden, b/c they're "marked" by the horrible things their ancestors have done to other races. Their so scared that they may offend someone, so they steer clear of conversations about race. Or give "safe" comments on racial issues.

I've had a huge problem with SOME white people, b/c of this reason. They seeem to be so fake. I can't befriend someone who's constant questions are based on race. For example, if I have my hair cornrolled.....they stand in amazement as if they've never seen it before. Or if I bring my son to work, they make comments about how " WELL " he speaks. Not even understanding, that those comments ( in the way there presented ) are offensive. Even going as far to make statements about who's going to win American Idol, assuming that it will be yet "ANOTHER HIP HOP CHICK" .

Things like that irritate me, but not to the point where I allow it to distrupt my life B/C I work with them and refuse to socialize with them.

BUT YEA...racism goes both ways

[Lonewolf]

I don't see why not, but it depends on the individuals involved.

[Phatkatt_76]

As ignorant as it sounds !! I just can't do it.

The word FRIEND means a lot to me. I think folks use that word too freely. I'm a people person, I can have a convo with anyone, can ASSOCIATE with just about anyone......but there are few, that I call friend.

White folks, especially white women !! Just can't do it !! I can't befriend someone who I'd have to train myself to trust. And as far as dirt goes, they get REAL dirty ! Hail !! I'd mess around and be like that highschool student in the other thread where the chick received a severe beat down !! ( JK )


DANG !! I may need to do some soul searching about that ..........NAHHH !!

[Baba Ahmed]

Greetings delzakiya!

Before I comment will u present your opinion on what is a racist? And am I correct to assume that u see yourself as a cosmopolitan person, and therefore qualified to accuse Black people as b n more "racist" or at least say more racist remarks than others?

Do u really think/believe that white people speak on the square when speaking to u or in a mixed grouping?

Oh one other side question: what is your interpretation of the saying that "White man speaks with a fork tongue?" And finally we've kinda gotten on a slippery slope haven't we? i.e., from a death scene to who's racist and who's not.

Thanks

[jacqui]

@Baba, long time no see, I keep thinking of whites who attend the lecture of Dr. Frances Cress Welsing spewing how much they are down for our cause and want to help us. She tells them they can help by telling us(blacks) what you (whites) talk about when we are not around. They either do 2 things, they sit down and shut up or they leave. I don't care how close you are to them, they will never do that.

[Baba Ahmed]

And wisdom shall come forth from the moufs of our sistas!!! Yeabo times a trillion, jacqui.

Onareal I'd thought about that exact talk by Dr. Welsing; I have it on audio tape from the 1980s, I think... still our folk don't get it. And as per usual a few voices spit the exceptions to a sociological rule and show themselves to also be insignificant. Because when viewing social phenononema, exceptions are just that: insignificant.

[Tinkertoy]

Yes, they can be friends. But, that does not mean that every white person and ever black person can be friends.

I have two white people whom I call friends and they have never been or said anything any time that was offensive to me in any situation. One was a coworked and she gave me all the support and encouragemenet that I needed in a bad job situation, even when the Black folks were just standing back with their mouths closed acting like nothing was going on. The other was my former first level supervisor for 12 years. He was a straight forward person and not hipocritical at all; he called it like he saw it whether you were black or white. It was a reflectiion of the fact that he grew up in a mixed neighborhood on the West coast and minorities were always a part of his culture. Since I retired he has invited me to stay at his house and even took me around sightseeing; we still stay in touch by email after 10 years.

[jimihaze]

My take is this friend is a strong word with heavy meaning. It is also a word that I do not use lightly. I know some black people that I would not call friend and I know some white people that I would not call friend. I work with both black and white and I have seen things about both that I don't like or care for. All I am saying is I can deal with anyone but I can't be friends with any and everybodyor just anyone. I think we should all ask ourselves what are the makings of a friend. Also who is Dr. Frances cress welsing?