Why Do Black Parents Love Drama????? - AfroChat - African American

Blak · January 12th, 2005, 01:06 AM

The favourite discussion among black parents is punishing kids. There is a 100 to 1 ratio of punishment threads to teaching/raising threads.....there are way the hell more "all kids today are awfull" threads than "my kid did _____ right today and I am proud" threads.

Now here is the real question:

WHY IN THE HELL, WHEN BLACK PARENTS HAVE KIDS THAT ARE BEHAVING AND DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO, DO BLACK PARENTS SPEND THEIR TIME DISCSUSSING THE MISBEHAVIOURS THEY "WISH" THEIR KIDS WOULD GET INTO SO THEY COULD PUNISH THE KIDS, RATHER THAN SIMPLY ACCEPTIGN THAT THINGS FOR THE MOMENT ARE GOOD AND SO ARE THIER KIDS???????

Why are black parents soooo drawn to the negative that when there is no specific negative parenting experiences in thier life for more than 24 hours.....the start fanticizing on their kid acting up and them punishing the kid to put their minds at ease????

Why did these people become parents in the first place if kids are such a burden and they go out their way to veiw them negatively?????

Thanks in advnce to all those brave enough to answer this HONESTLY. :)

Blak

JamieC · January 12th, 2005, 01:26 AM

Why did these people become parents in the first place if kids are such a burden and they go out their way to veiw them negatively?????

Blak[/quote]

I can't speak for other black parents. I've never had to punish my 8 yr old for anything in his life!! Yes, call him a rareity but I've never had to "punish" him.

When I chose to give birth him at the age of 39 years old, I figured I was doing something right. So to punish him... Nah. He was a gift given to me because not too many folks can say that.

P.S. He's in 3rd grade but he's in a 4th grade reading and math class.. So to view him negatively.. It's NOT going to happen. :)

Harmony · January 12th, 2005, 01:54 AM

Blak,

The flip side to talking about how your child is acting up is talking about how good and well behaved they are. When you get on that kick, you more times than not can be met with the, "Oh here he/she goes with that perfect child that he's/she's always talking about."

It's not so much that a parent wants or needs the drama, but sometimes it's a way for SOME of them to hear from parents with the same problems and how they handle and deal with things.

Parents are at their wits end a lot of times when they resort to sharing with others. If it'll give them a little reassurance to know that they aren't the ONLY ones raising "hellions"...maybe that's the least we can do.

000HONEY · January 12th, 2005, 11:13 AM

My kids are young & get into things so I correct them when they're wrong...
HOWEVER...
I praise good behavior in my house to encourage my kids to continue their good behavior (I think it is important)

Quote:

WHY IN THE HELL, WHEN BLACK PARENTS HAVE KIDS THAT ARE BEHAVING AND DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO, DO BLACK PARENTS SPEND THEIR TIME DISCSUSSING THE MISBEHAVIOURS THEY "WISH" THEIR KIDS WOULD GET INTO SO THEY COULD PUNISH THE KIDS, RATHER THAN SIMPLY ACCEPTIGN THAT THINGS FOR THE MOMENT ARE GOOD AND SO ARE THIER KIDS???????

I don't know any mentally stable parents(Black or ANY other race) that would WISH their kids would MISbehave...Thats just crazy to me.

I also agree that...

Quote:

It's not so much that a parent wants or needs the drama, but sometimes it's a way for SOME of them to hear from parents with the same problems and how they handle and deal with things.

Vegence · January 12th, 2005, 11:16 AM

BINGO!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harmony

Blak,

The flip side to talking about how your child is acting up is talking about how good and well behaved they are. When you get on that kick, you more times than not can be met with the, "Oh here he/she goes with that perfect child that he's/she's always talking about."

It's not so much that a parent wants or needs the drama, but sometimes it's a way for SOME of them to hear from parents with the same problems and how they handle and deal with things.

Parents are at their wits end a lot of times when they resort to sharing with others. If it'll give them a little reassurance to know that they aren't the ONLY ones raising "hellions"...maybe that's the least we can do.

originata · January 12th, 2005, 11:32 AM

Excellent responses Honey and Harmony.

Blak · January 12th, 2005, 01:48 PM

So then, these statements about wishing their kid would act up are an inside joke?:
"I wish my kiddos would pull that crap"
"I wish she would fix her mouth to ask for permission to lay up in my house. I'll slap her to sleep and dare her to dream!"

I guess I will get the inside joke and the humour of it when I become a parent since black parents seem to toss out these kinda statements at least once a week. :confused:

Blak

tafui · January 12th, 2005, 02:27 PM

Blak...I see exactly where you're coming from.

Peace,
tafui

urfan2c · January 12th, 2005, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blak

So then, these statements about wishing their kid would act up are an inside joke?:
"I wish my kiddos would pull that crap"
"I wish she would fix her mouth to ask for permission to lay up in my house. I'll slap her to sleep and dare her to dream!"

I guess I will get the inside joke and the humour of it when I become a parent since black parents seem to toss out these kinda statements at least once a week. :confused:

Blak

Yeah those are figures of speech...they aren't really requesting that their child do that...

tafui · January 12th, 2005, 02:50 PM

I think Blak's point is that even though they may be figure of speeches, they are often followed up with negative and violent reactions. "I wish my child would blah, blah, blah, cause I would..."

I think he's like, "Why are we waiting for prime opportunities to beat somebody's butt? Especially on a situation that hasn't even happened and may not happen."

It think it's kinda telling of how children are disciplined.

Peace,
tafui