Why Do Black Parents Love Drama?????

[Blak]

^^^
That is my poitn Tafui. And another thing is that black people whip themselves up into a frenzy easily. One runour of a child killing a parent and black parents are out for blood against kids....so it is not a stretch that, if they are repeating on a daily basis how bad kids are, even when there is not a case in front of them, they will start to believe it and assume guilt BEFORE wrong doing. I have seen moderate black parents enter a convo like this online and within a few posts are calling for ALL black kids to get beat on so they dont "kill us" etc. Black parents create alarm with these conversations and get themself on edge....I mean, what does it say when one has a good kid, but on the advice of friends carries objects around in their purse (wooden spoon or what ever)...."just in case"???

Blak

[It's Meeee]

I can't speak for other black parents. I've never had to punish my 8 yr old for anything in his life!! Yes, call him a rareity but I've never had to "punish" him. When I chose to give birth him at the age of 39 years old, I figured I was doing something right. So to punish him... Nah. He was a gift given to me because not too many folks can say that. P.S. He's in 3rd grade but he's in a 4th grade reading and math class.. So to view him negatively.. It's NOT going to happen. :)

"39?" Wow that's a brave age to have a child. :wink: Congratulations and God bless you to rear your son in righteousness always calling down blessings on his head. The matriarchy has that power and it will manifest itself.

[Harmony]

Originally Posted by Blak

So then, these statements about wishing their kid would act up are an inside joke?: "I wish she would fix her mouth to ask for permission to lay up in my house. I'll slap her to sleep and dare her to dream!"

I guess I will get the inside joke and the humour of it when I become a parent since black parents seem to toss out these kinda statements at least once a week. :confused:

Blak

With all due respect, you took MY comment out of context. I can't speak for the owner of the other statement that was made, but at least try to be more open-minded about when someone is being humorous.

Statements like THIS are what black people have been hearing since the beginning of life for us. Why it would seem to bother you so much now, is beyond me, but that's your right.

THAT statement is mine and mine alone and has NOTHING to do with wanting drama, wanting my child to do bad, or anything else. It was MY way as a parent to take the edge off of a topic that is sometimes stressful and nerve wrecking for some.

I wasn't the one who initially stated that you wouldn't know about this until you had your own child, so that statement should not have been applied to me, as I feel that anyone could identify with the basic premise of being a parent.

A lot of times conversations have potential to go astray when people apply their OWN thoughts on a subject and will not leave any room for compromise.

My statement stands as is and I in no way cater to drama or anything else. If my messing with another sister on the board suggests that, then that's one I guess you'll get to have, as long as I know what my intentions were. :)

NOTE: Please look at my entire post concerning this and see that I made reference to Ced The Entertainer stating that black people have a "Wish Factor"...my bad for thinking that it would further bring out the humor intended in my post.

[Harmony]

Originally Posted by originata

Excellent responses Honey and Harmony.

Thanks...

[It's Meeee]

Blak, I think what you are talking about is a 'negative' behavior that unfortunately a lot of blacks adopted from the enslavement era. Blacks were stripped of all dignity and bred to self-loathe themselves and that negative attitude was passed down from generation to generation. It must be exorcised out of black people.

Both the matriarch and patriarch have great power over the children God gives them. Blessings and strength should always be called down on the children as the children will endow that in their spirit and soar to become great people. Many blacks do this and this is why you have many blessed, triumphant black people on a large or small scale. There are decent, wonderful blacks who act on the positive principle of calling down blessings on their children.

You are so right, there are also too many blacks still acting on the 'Willie Lynch' mentality of 'cursing their children' with negative attributes. As a result, many blacks remain stagnant, defeated black people. The Bible says, the 'power of life and death are in the tongue' (Prov. 18:21).

Preachers and women study groups are now teaching blacks how to stop acting on that negativity. Many receive the truth and are set free, others either are left in ignorance or haven't been taught the truth. Hopefully, collective blacks will be exorcised from the demonic spirit of Willie Lynch and at that time, that negative behavior will be destroyed out of our midst.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by Harmony

With all due respect, you took MY comment out of context. I can't speak for the owner of the other statement that was made, but at least try to be more open-minded about when someone is being humorous.

Statements like THIS are what black people have been hearing since the beginning of life for us. Why it would seem to bother you so much now, is beyond me, but that's your right.

THAT statement is mine and mine alone and has NOTHING to do with wanting drama, wanting my child to do bad, or anything else. It was MY way as a parent to take the edge off of a topic that is sometimes stressful and nerve wrecking for some.

I wasn't the one who initially stated that you wouldn't know about this until you had your own child, so that statement should not have been applied to me, as I feel that anyone could identify with the basic premise of being a parent.

A lot of times conversations have potential to go astray when people apply their OWN thoughts on a subject and will not leave any room for compromise.

My statement stands as is and I in no way cater to drama or anything else. If my messing with another sister on the board suggests that, then that's one I guess you'll get to have, as long as I know what my intentions were. :)

Dont feel singled out....I picked the closest examples...the most recent. I have read thousands of comments like that....it has to mean something.

That is why I am asking the question. Thanks for the reply...the goal is to figure out what is in your heads when yall go off like that.

Thanks

Blak

[Harmony]

Originally Posted by Blak

Dont feel singled out....I picked the closest examples...the most recent. I have read thousands of comments like that....it has to mean something.

That is why I am asking the question. Thanks for the reply...the goal is to figure out what is in your heads when yall go off like that.

Thanks

Blak

If there are parents who really mean statements like this, as far as beating, kicking, slapping, and all of that, I can't speak for them. When HARMONY said it, I was acting a fool.

However, I do believe parents should be able to make statements like the ones that you've witnessed here (and elsewhere) and not have to feel that they should be "careful" in what they say.

A lot of these parents are doing nothing more than venting and would not even go to the extremes that they will/have/do mention. It's an 'out,' a way to get a free one in and laugh it off later.

Some might resort to measures that they've listed, but unless we've walked a mile in their shoes? We can only imagine.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by Harmony

A lot of these parents are doing nothing more than venting and would not even go to the extremes that they will/have/do mention. It's an 'out,' a way to get a free one in and laugh it off later.

Some might resort to measures that they've listed, but unless we've walked a mile in their shoes? We can only imagine.

I am glad you stated this last part. I truely am confused as to why children bring up such feelings of constant anger in many black parents. Maybe not you, but many I have encountered have a staedy stream of negative thoughts....some tell their kids directly....some sit and simmer with anger and tell their friends. What I wanna know is how so much bitter hatred and anger is generated by what THEY created? I understadn fully that kids can drive parents crazy some days....but to constantly be griping about them even when they are behaving.....why should they "get one in" when the kid is being good?

I want to know all this becuase it seems like a change that takes place the second a black man becomes a father and the second a black woman becomes pregnant. There is also alot of fear!!! I have seen so many getting ready to overreact...talking about beatings their unborn will recieve in 5 years becuase "I we dont beat them, they will beat and kill us". I heard such phrases so many times that I stopped laughing...and started worrying about the mental state of folks.

Thanks for your input.....if you know any more....inform me. I NEVER want to turn into such a bitter person, but if it is inevitable....maybe I will reconsider fatherhood. There are enough children suffering you know.

Blak

[Harmony]

You're welcome and I can understand your concerns.

There are a plethora of reasons why parents say and react as they do and most have to be taken with a grain of salt. There's no reason why you should let what you've witnessed from others hinder your aspirations of one day being a father.

In fact, what you've seen could be the driving force that has you dealing with your children on a whole new level and void of the things that prompted you to start this thread. :-)

[It's Meeee]

Originally Posted by tafui

I think Blak's point is that even though they may be figure of speeches, they are often followed up with negative and violent reactions. "I wish my child would blah, blah, blah, cause I would..."

I think he's like, "Why are we waiting for prime opportunities to beat somebody's butt? Especially on a situation that hasn't even happened and may not happen."

It think it's kinda telling of how children are disciplined.

Peace,
tafui

Yeah I agree, but on the other hand, I well understand what the parents are saying. However, like I told blak, the 'power of life and death is in the tongue' and I think this is a 'negative' problem of sorts that God will help frustrated parents to work out.