Why I love AfroChat but get mad sometimes.

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by ardamus

... This is actually the most laid-back and mature board I post on...

Right? Right!

[maestrho]

I hate to say this, but each time I receive one of the "We miss you" e-mails, I get my hopes up and I come back to read various posts only to be terribly frustrated and disappointed. While I've seen SOME intellectual posts that are based on fact rather than emotion, I find many of the comments by the members to be rather ANTI-intellectual, petty and woefully misguided. Again, I've seen some that are certainly interesting, but many more poorly-written, ill-conceived points outweigh the good and I end up logging off ... until I get the next "We miss you" e-mail. I don't think AfroChat is for me - I hoped it was, I tried to make it work for me, but I just can't get "into" most of the discussions. We don't all have to agree, but to disagree in a disagreeable manner is childish. To get upset whenever someone calls you to the carpet on things that may need improvement also shows a lack of evolution of self. It's OK to hear that sometimes people aren't thrilled by what you've said or done. It's OK to receive criticism, but why must we hurl insults or grow defensive whenever someone says something that might make us uncomfortable? The discomfort typically comes from that place inside you that says, "That point is not entirely wrong." Rather than beat up on or accuse Soy Negra for voicing her opinion (isn't that what this whole site is all about???), let's be introspective and adult enough to recognize that her point is not entirely wrong. Before anyone gets upset with THIS post, by the way, I recognize that not everyone was attacking Soy Negra. I intended this in response to those that I perceived to be hostile to her commentary.

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by Samoon

"

The word was never meant to be complimentary.

Precisely. This especially true when you take in consideration the definition of the word and how its been perputated through the history of our ancestors.

[Incognegro]

I will just step in here to say I came after seeing a we miss you email. I haven't been on cause I have been home in the Caribbean the last 4 months and I do different outdoor things when I am here. The thing I wanted to say is I am kind of tripping today reading on here. It is SOOOOOOO different perspective wise in the Caribbean. We don't always gotta be eternally and daily on the black vs. white thing or any of the rest. We just BE. Do our thing, have fun and exist. We don't have the same lite vs. dark skin thing either. Before you start trippin', keep in mind I have spent half my life in NYC and when i am there I get real appalled and am the most militant of all. When I am there I forget how it is down here and when I am here I forget about all that up there. I just got reminded today tho. Sure we have our racist tourist white folks come down here but its different cause they are the powerless minority. We really don't pay them no mind. Either ignore them, laugh at them or maybe curse them if we feel like it. Just dropping my lil thoughts and reflections of the minute. Peace.

[robbboy2003]

Knowledge is a wonderful thing. Being learnt,and i hope i spelled that right is good also. It amazes me however,how these intelligent brotha's and sista's can forget,that we are supposed to be on the same team.

There's a way to get your point across,without alienating people to do it. Tact is a good thing,or having finesse. Maybe, you want drama. I don't know?

I do know some discussion can get,so heated feelings can be hurt,if you believe in something strongly enough;and like a pitbull hang on to your views all the while tugging with a another pitbull,or different minded person.

I am Black, proud and a warrior,and have learned somethings here on this site. Keep on being the best Black people!

I think I'll drop a rhyme now.

[DBlack]

Originally Posted by maestrho

I hate to say this, but each time I receive one of the "We miss you" e-mails, I get my hopes up and I come back to read various posts only to be terribly frustrated and disappointed. While I've seen SOME intellectual posts that are based on fact rather than emotion, I find many of the comments by the members to be rather ANTI-intellectual, petty and woefully misguided. Again, I've seen some that are certainly interesting, but many more poorly-written, ill-conceived points outweigh the good and I end up logging off ... until I get the next "We miss you" e-mail. I don't think AfroChat is for me - I hoped it was, I tried to make it work for me, but I just can't get "into" most of the discussions. We don't all have to agree, but to disagree in a disagreeable manner is childish. To get upset whenever someone calls you to the carpet on things that may need improvement also shows a lack of evolution of self. It's OK to hear that sometimes people aren't thrilled by what you've said or done. It's OK to receive criticism, but why must we hurl insults or grow defensive whenever someone says something that might make us uncomfortable? The discomfort typically comes from that place inside you that says, "That point is not entirely wrong." Rather than beat up on or accuse Soy Negra for voicing her opinion (isn't that what this whole site is all about???), let's be introspective and adult enough to recognize that her point is not entirely wrong. Before anyone gets upset with THIS post, by the way, I recognize that not everyone was attacking Soy Negra. I intended this in response to those that I perceived to be hostile to her commentary.

According to the server logs you've access the site alot, just chose not to post. It's unfair to put the entire site on blast because of a few isolated instances that you disapprove of. Yes, there is a lot of passionate debate, arguments, discussion, and also plenty of light hearted conversation as well. For you to make a handful of posts and render an indictment against an entire community, IMO, puts your credibility in question moreso than those that are the target of your rebuke.

Furthermore, I reviewed the posts and did not see where ANY resident attacked Soy Negra. And if they did, instead of blasting your baseless beef on the open board, why not contact one of the staff and handle it respectfully? To be frank, I view your public airing of this issue to be disingenuous. You are simply using the board to echo your discord, when you barely even participate. The members make the community, so you are indicting yourself.

Give yourself a fair amount of participation before you rush to judgment. You will find that with over 100,000 posts, your assertions are, respectfully, way off base and a slap in the face to all of us that act as adults and dare to actually post good content and participate in the community.

One more suggestion: Start threads that YOU would be interested in discussing. No one's stopping you from opening up some threads on whatever issues or interests you have. Most members here found AfroChat searching for a subject and NOT a messageboard. Yet, in their search results they found us. I'm not going to give up my trade secrets of how we show up so well in search engines, but point is, you were most like brought here because you were searching. Now you are here. Help us build and not destroy.

Are you a builder or destoyer?

[DBlack]

Originally Posted by Incognegro

I will just step in here to say I came after seeing a we miss you email. I haven't been on cause I have been home in the Caribbean the last 4 months and I do different outdoor things when I am here. The thing I wanted to say is I am kind of tripping today reading on here. It is SOOOOOOO different perspective wise in the Caribbean. We don't always gotta be eternally and daily on the black vs. white thing or any of the rest. We just BE. Do our thing, have fun and exist. We don't have the same lite vs. dark skin thing either. Before you start trippin', keep in mind I have spent half my life in NYC and when i am there I get real appalled and am the most militant of all. When I am there I forget how it is down here and when I am here I forget about all that up there. I just got reminded today tho. Sure we have our racist tourist white folks come down here but its different cause they are the powerless minority. We really don't pay them no mind. Either ignore them, laugh at them or maybe curse them if we feel like it. Just dropping my lil thoughts and reflections of the minute. Peace.

Your life experiences and opinions are just as valuable as any other black, whether American or not.

Thanks for sharing your perspective.

[Soy Negra]

Maestro (sp?),

Thanks. I checked in yesterday and after posting on another thread, spotted a whole new thread about 'Trolls' and realised that try as I might to escape web scenario's like the Destee, AOL, BET claw-em-down forums, it keeps going on and on and on all over the web. You voice your opinion and you're a troll, stirring up trouble etc., etc., ad aeternum. And the funny thing is that my initial post here was tongue in cheek. For real.

Granted, I may not have posted on this site before (though I have been a reader since shortly after its inception), but am I obliged to kowtow to current members and watch my words because I may offend established posters?

Statements like "African women come here with AIDS" are not only xenophobic and unsubstantiated, they can lead to mass uninformed negative stereotyping of those women if people just read and digest without demanding independent verification from posters.

I wonder what AA women would say if Africans said the reason there's so much AIDS in Africa is because we take HIV to the continent...

As for the Al Sharpton thing, if he didn't whore himself to the media, how many in the Black community would be cognizant of Amadou Diallo, Abner Louima, Ousmane Zongo or the current Sean Bell Case? I came up in NYC in Crown Heights back in the day when life was reaaaal ugly. Who cared first? Who yelled the loudest, demanded justice and still keeps on demanding it even after the cops walk when another brother gets killed? Al Sharpton did and does, in all his permed, gold medallion, Fila-sweat-suit-having glory.

We are all entitled to our opinions and they are just that - Opinions.

In 2007, if one can fly off the handle because of differing perspectives, then Life must truly be a cruel joke.

And how must potential site member's get the courage to post if they are to be branded as trolls? The site's admin is/are quite capable of figuring out our locations/servers etc. and reporting back to concerned citizens whether or not there is a smoking gun.

Increase The Peace

Soy negra. La que manda.....

[DBlack]

Trust me, we are and never will be like the ilk of Destee and other forums out there.

Soy, don't sweat the opinions of others. Your opinion and insight here is just as valuable as the veterans here. Although we are all human and have our own hot button issues, collectively we are all one.

Obviously if you participate in a productive way, you are not a troll. Don't put stock into assertions that others make that are baseless. Rebuke them intelligently and move on.

As far as the member that defended you, that's a different matter. People should give a community a fair chance before unfairly characterizing the site or it's members. There is so much content here, even I forget many topics that have been discussed here.

I'm glad you are here and look forward to your continued participation.

[Incognegro]

Don't worry Soy, I have just been branded as a troll as well. I don't care. Its just somebody I don't know typing on the internet. You know?