When does complaining become complacency.

[slickbitty]

I ask this question because I have a co-worker, and every ding dong day, she always has something negative to say. I've tried to witness to the girl, share some insights, some personal life lessons that she may find helpful. Becuase, quite frankly, I cannot allow myself to get sucked into the negativity that she brings to the job every day.

For instance, today she went on a litany about a calendar not being blank. I mean she went Chernobyl. This is also the very same person who went up for a support position in the company and didn't get the job and is pissed as to why. So as a former manager, who used to hire follks, I asked her a few questions, to call her to her truth. Namely -

1. During the interview, did you give examples of when you've acted in the support role to other representatives.

2. What does support mean to you?

3. If there is a rule that you disagree with, how would you handle that.

4. Does complaining about things you cannot change actually make you happier to be here?

Because I know there are days when I don't want to be here, but dang. I at least try to make the most of it. Namely by not letting this place define me as a person. I can't even say that she's young, because she's in her late 20's, but I'm running out of things to say that are respectful in nature. Because what I really want to advise her on is.....You didn't get the job because you whine and complain about EVERYTHING about this place. And no manager is going to hire someone, let alone promote them within the company if you're complaining about the place that you're trying to get promoted within.

Trying to get her to see that logic is like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube.

I'm running out of ideas ya'll....what else can you suggest?

[originata]

Don't listen to her, just say "mmmm hmmm", "really", "that's too bad" and vary some other phrases during a conversation. Hey its what I do. You can only do but so much and if someone isn't willing to change things then all they do is get you all worked up like they are over nothing. Most people like that wanna hear only what they want and disregard the rest so you're probably wasting your breathe anyway.

[slickbitty]

Originally Posted by originata

Don't listen to her, just say "mmmm hmmm", "really", "that's too bad" and vary some other phrases during a conversation. Hey its what I do. You can only do but so much and if someone isn't willing to change things then all they do is get you all worked up like they are over nothing. Most people like that wanna hear only what they want and disregard the rest so you're probably wasting your breathe anyway.

I'll probably just move. Which of course is a huge problem, because then the IT dude has to reset my computer settings for the new work station.

What's sad is that I actually can't wait for a call to come through so I don't have to talk to her....Do you know how RARE that is working in a call center.

I'm going to be hollerin' in here in a minute because I'm actually laughing to myself at what I'm saying to her in my head.

[Vegence]

First off
understand that everyone isn't like you, so everyone may not see things way that you do. Sometimes in our quest to "help" others we come as

"high and mighty" and judgmental as if we ourselves have NO flaws! Which isn't going to help remedy the situation.

I think the only thing you can do is put it in GOD'S hands and leave it there. Meanwhile staying focused on maintaining your own peace!

Originally Posted by slickbitty

I ask this question because I have a co-worker, and every ding dong day, she always has something negative to say. I've tried to witness to the girl, share some insights, some personal life lessons that she may find helpful. Becuase, quite frankly, I cannot allow myself to get sucked into the negativity that she brings to the job every day.

For instance, today she went on a litany about a calendar not being blank. I mean she went Chernobyl. This is also the very same person who went up for a support position in the company and didn't get the job and is pissed as to why. So as a former manager, who used to hire follks, I asked her a few questions, to call her to her truth. Namely -

1. During the interview, did you give examples of when you've acted in the support role to other representatives.

2. What does support mean to you?

3. If there is a rule that you disagree with, how would you handle that.

4. Does complaining about things you cannot change actually make you happier to be here?

Because I know there are days when I don't want to be here, but dang. I at least try to make the most of it. Namely by not letting this place define me as a person. I can't even say that she's young, because she's in her late 20's, but I'm running out of things to say that are respectful in nature. Because what I really want to advise her on is.....You didn't get the job because you whine and complain about EVERYTHING about this place. And no manager is going to hire someone, let alone promote them within the company if you're complaining about the place that you're trying to get promoted within.

Trying to get her to see that logic is like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube.

I'm running out of ideas ya'll....what else can you suggest?

[slickbitty]

Originally Posted by Vegence

First off
understand that everyone isn't like you, so everyone may not see things way that you do. Sometimes in our quest to "help" others we come as

"high and mighty" and judgmental as if we ourselves have NO flaws! Which isn't going to help remedy the situation.

I think the only thing you can do is put it in GOD'S hands and leave it there. Meanwhile staying focused on maintaining your own peace!

I can't let her continue to ruin the morale of the team by coming to team meetings and being negative. This is a workplace environment. It's not so much helping her, as making sure the job is done efficiently...Plus she came to me with the whole job interview thing, those are the questions any manager would ask.

[DBlack]

Look, if you got an eternal pessimist and you find it vexing on your day and outlook of it, then separate yourself from her. But if you are friends, the right thing to do is to try to get her to see her ways. Once that fails, you really have to save yourself.

People like this are very hard to deal with, especially in the workplace. It is their constant negativity that is an eyesore to management, and they may easily associate you as being congruent with her attitude/outlook. Once management gets an impression of an employee, right or wrong, it can hurt your future endeavors there.

Over time, people like that, I learn to love and care for from an ever-increasing distance.

And uh, move your workstation; you'll be glad you did.

[slickbitty]

I've moved twice, and I'm going to have to move to a different office, If I had one with a door, I'd be in it right now,with the door closed so that I could get work done.

I tell you, the hardest thing I ever learned was to not complain about all the things that I could not control. But like the story goes, some people just prefer to be unhappy with everything. Quite honestly, she reminds me of my sister. Who I told was being way to negative about everything, and of course she bit my head off. But when you're trying to call someone to their truth, namely that they do have control over things in their life, they really don't want to make the changes necessary for themselves to be happy.

[MsMellow]

If I were you I wouldn't move at all. I'd just tell her the truth and let her deal with it. I'd let her know that she's to negative and it brings people down. We all have days when we don't want to be there, or days when things don't go our way but complaining isn't going to change things OR stop situations from happening. Sometimes you have to just deal with things and move on. Dwelling on it is pointless.

Ask her what is SHE gonna do to change her situation next time she complains about something. Oh and if you REALLY want her to shut up, just tell her you'll pray for her OR even better, while she's complaing say, "let's pray about it right now." And watch her run like she stole somethin'. LOL

[slickbitty]

Originally Posted by MsMellow

If I were you I wouldn't move at all. I'd just tell her the truth and let her deal with it. I'd let her know that she's to negative and it brings people down. We all have days when we don't want to be there, or days when things don't go our way but complaining isn't going to change things OR stop situations from happening. Sometimes you have to just deal with things and move on. Dwelling on it is pointless.

Ask her what is SHE gonna do to change her situation next time she complains about something. Oh and if you REALLY want her to shut up, just tell her you'll pray for her OR even better, while she's complaing say, "let's pray about it right now." And watch her run like she stole somethin'. LOL

thank you for putting a smile on face, especially with that last one.

[JamieC]

She should be lucky she even has a job!! I'll give it to ya Slick you're good because knowing how I am, I'd tell her to shut up.