When does complaining become complacency.

[slickbitty]

Originally Posted by JamieC

She should be lucky she even has a job!! I'll give it to ya Slick you're good because knowing how I am, I'd tell her to shut up.

but as a management trainee....I probably would have done that a long time ago. I'm just looking for suggestions on how to handle 'difficult' employees.

Ignore her it works wonders and isnt stressful...i have 2 ignorant co=workers and i go 8 hours acting like they don't exsist...i only talk to them if its work related...and if they are talking stupid when that occurs i put on my igg block and i keep it moving..

[MsMellow]

Originally Posted by slickbitty

but as a management trainee....I probably would have done that a long time ago. I'm just looking for suggestions on how to handle 'difficult' employees.

I was a manager about 3 times and each time attitude was a prime factor in not only getting a position but also keeping one. The last thing I needed was one employee negging my other team members out. I always addressed difficult employees about their issues, I've never had a problem pulling somebody to the side.

It's always easiest when you use the "build, break, biuld" method on a difficult employee. Tell her something good she does and give her props....then hit her with the problem you're having with her and let her know that she needs to work on fixing it....then build her up again by letting her know how much of an asset she is to the company and the team (if that's true) and you hope she'll get her act together.

You know that old saying about how one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch? Well it's true. So you have to either cut out the bad parts of the apple or get rid of it.

[naskiecenye]

I know exactly what you mean in fact my bosses decided to tell parents not to bring their children to school today to have a workshop for the negativity that goes on in my job. This one girl even complains about the work environment it was so funny when the director told her and all the other negative staff, "if you dont want to be here get to steppin" I love my director cuz she knows how to get wit u when she needs to

[It's Meeee]

Originally Posted by slickbitty

I ask this question because I have a co-worker, and every ding dong day, she always has something negative to say. I've tried to witness to the girl, share some insights, some personal life lessons that she may find helpful. Becuase, quite frankly, I cannot allow myself to get sucked into the negativity that she brings to the job every day.

For instance, today she went on a litany about a calendar not being blank. I mean she went Chernobyl. This is also the very same person who went up for a support position in the company and didn't get the job and is pissed as to why. So as a former manager, who used to hire follks, I asked her a few questions, to call her to her truth. Namely -

1. During the interview, did you give examples of when you've acted in the support role to other representatives.

2. What does support mean to you?

3. If there is a rule that you disagree with, how would you handle that.

4. Does complaining about things you cannot change actually make you happier to be here?

Because I know there are days when I don't want to be here, but dang. I at least try to make the most of it. Namely by not letting this place define me as a person. I can't even say that she's young, because she's in her late 20's, but I'm running out of things to say that are respectful in nature. Because what I really want to advise her on is.....You didn't get the job because you whine and complain about EVERYTHING about this place. And no manager is going to hire someone, let alone promote them within the company if you're complaining about the place that you're trying to get promoted within.

Trying to get her to see that logic is like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube.

I'm running out of ideas ya'll....what else can you suggest?

Slick, why can't you tell her about her attitude? As you said, you used to be in a position to hire and fire, so couldn't you more or less explain that 'attitude is everything' and 'manager's are always looking at you and when you're complaining about everything all the time, they think that doesn't make good promotional material?' I mean something tactful along those lines?

As a spiritual woman, give her some Scriptures about 'negative complaining' and how that not only hurts you in work related issues but also in life itself. Oh for the record, a sure fire way of getting someone like that to quit talking to you is to bring up Scripture all the time. It just annoys the heck out of them and drives them to silence or away. :wink:

[slickbitty]

Originally Posted by It's Meeee

Slick, why can't you tell her about her attitude? As you said, you used to be in a position to hire and fire, so couldn't you more or less explain that 'attitude is everything' and 'manager's are always looking at you and when you're complaining about everything all the time, they think that doesn't make good promotional material?' I mean something tactful along those lines?

As a spiritual woman, give her some Scriptures about 'negative complaining' and how that not only hurts you in work related issues but also in life itself. Oh for the record, a sure fire way of getting someone like that to quit talking to you is to bring up Scripture all the time. It just annoys the heck out of them and drives them to silence or away. :wink:

ANd then yesterday when the center's newsletter came out, that she works on and that I have been invited to work on because of my journalism background, she went on a 10 minute tirade with another manager who did her best to try to explain to her, that the EDITOR has final say as to what goes in and what doesn't. I actually chuckled out loud for the first time during this exchange, of which there have been many.

I can actually tell you, I have in dealing with this person, moved several times, shared my scriptural side with her, and even witnessed to her on several occassions. I'm begining to think she's one of those people that isn't happy unless she's complaining about EVERYTHING. Now as a worker, I'd love to be doing something else to to better utilize my skills, but I'm not going to complain everyday about things that I CANNOT CHANGE.

I even started my new plan with her yesterday...It's a combination of everything that you've all said, I don't have a name for it yet, but when I do, I'm copyrighting it and writing a book. Basically, she was complaining about our exception calendars (we basically have to adjust our own schedules to match what we actually did that day...breaks, lunches, meetings...we have to adjust it so we account for our time) anyway, she was trying to enter hers and then she started complaining how slow it was, why she couldn't get this exception to enter, why it kept failing and so on. So I asked her (as the trainer did when he came a month ago when the system was upgraded) did she check to see why it was failing. She said no, it just said fail. I asked her if she knew that she could click on the fail link and it will tell her what she's needing to enter. She said no, but then she checked and then she complained about the answer it gave her. My response:

'Regina (that's her name). You're a very smart girl, and you know a lot, and I think that you're frustrated right now at this system because you don't know it that well. All you have to do is read the manual that Kerry gave us, or you can ask our Coach for the information. But sitting here and complaining for 15 minutes about how a system isn't working for YOU, and it's distracting to all the other workers who have tried to help you. I'll be happy to go over it with you, but this b & c'n about stuff WE cannot change has got to stop.' Then I asked her if she could respect that. She said yeah, but then didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.

I bet you she moves. Because I like my desk, and I like where I sit, and I'm not moving. I'm tired of that. I guess I'm just going to have to be that chick who people respect more than they like, which I guess is okay, it's just something that I'll have to get used to.

I do appreciate all ya'll ;) helping me out. I'll post here to let you know how it's going.

[hales]

Slickbitty,

Good rule. I need that for myself. Don't complain about things I can not change.

On the other hand, I just cut off an aunt, without telling her because she was so darn negative. 33 years in church and I was having to tell her stupid stuff like Auntie don't call the old white man a b*tch because he did what he was required to do by his job [mark our hand as we left rummage sale for bathroom, so we could get back in].

I felt like I could not be around someone always wanting to be recognized as a good church going Christian but never acting like it.

And just like you, I felt trapped by the fact that this is a person, I do not have all the choice in being around. My old aunt, is my old aunt.

Yet I kept my decision to myself, so she has nothing to be defensive about and nothing to answer.

We just don't ride together that much.

[slickbitty]

gotta tell you i'm not surprised. and i was all ready to try out my new plan.