Responsible sexual behavior. . .

[Eric]

Originally Posted by RanRan

But when the opposite happens men and women should be responsible enough to deal with it like an adult and not an idiot.

You are right. However the ideal is next to impossible to attain. I believe that it is this very reason which has necessitated the existence of such a thread. The point is to look to the root of the problem and to proffer a solution. The root is that unfortunately some men have relegated themselves the inferior role of being just a sperm donor as opposed to being a father. These men are cowards who turn their backs on their responsibility. The solution is simply for people to be more discerning in so far as their dating and mating preferences are concerned and then to exercise "responsible sexual behaviour" with their other half.

Ladies, i'm enjoying your contributions to this topic, please continue to indulge us :) .

[jamesfrmphilly]

you mean you people are still having sex? that is so last century.

[DBlack]

Originally Posted by Eric

You are right. However the ideal is next to impossible to attain. I believe that it is this very reason which has necessitated the existence of such a thread. The point is to look to the root of the problem and to proffer a solution. The root is that unfortunately some men have relegated themselves the inferior role of being just a sperm donor as opposed to being a father. These men are cowards who turn their backs on their responsibility. The solution is simply for people to be more discerning in so far as their dating and mating preferences are concerned and then to exercise "responsible sexual behaviour" with their other half.

Ladies, i'm enjoying your contributions to this topic, please continue to indulge us :) .

Since when is the man soley respoonsible? It is up to the woman and the man to not only care for the child together, but to work at having a productive/harmonious relationship if they must be apart. I hear so many stories of a man or woman estranged by the other partner's actions, making the 'relationship' very combative and incongruent to rasing a child.

to me, the solution is very simple; use birth control. If you don't, it's your responsibility to deal with the repurcussions. Parent's shouldn't punish a child because of their trifling ways.

Originally Posted by jamesfrmphilly

you mean you people are still having sex? that is so last century.

It's been awhile and it's really starting to PISS ME OFF!

[Eric]

Originally Posted by DBlack

Since when is the man soley respoonsible? It is up to the woman and the man to not only care for the child together, but to work at having a productive/harmonious relationship if they must be apart. I hear so many stories of a man or woman estranged by the other partner's actions, making the 'relationship' very combative and incongruent to rasing a child.

to me, the solution is very simple; use birth control. If you don't, it's your responsibility to deal with the repurcussions. Parent's shouldn't punish a child because of their trifling ways.

The man is not soley responsible. I made that clear with the first post i placed in this topic.

Originally Posted by RanRan

It's been awhile and it's really starting to PISS ME OFF!

...........

[jcsump]

I feel the problem here is that we,as positive brothers,need to reach the young males to break this cycle of unwanted kids.The reason why I feel strongly about this is that we create life.Teach the young boys the self respect and repect for a woman that we were taught growing up.(The Rites of Passage to some who don't know)Once they learn self respect,along with personal reponsibility,all this will soon pass.We positive brothers,countrywide,just have to more proactive.I feel it's up to the men in our culture to handle this.

[Mrs. Alexander]

Great Topic!

I believe that alot of the responsibility of Birth Control falls on the woman as the majority of birth control methods can only be used by women. However, I believe society isn't supportive of women who make an effort to be sexually responsible. For example, I worked at a teen home for pregnant and mothering adolesecents. One of the teen's went to fill her prescription for birth control and she was told that she was too young to have the prescription and that she would have to return with a guardian. The girl already had a two year-old son, so if she was old enough to have a baby she was old enough to get some Birth Control.

I also don't think there is enough open dialouge about being sexually responsible and what it means to be sexually responsible. As I look back at some of my previous relationships there was never a discussion as to whether or not I was on Birth Control.

I think a solution to unwanted pregnancies is education about sex and what it means to be sexually responsible and how to create dialouge between you and your partner about this responsibility.

Last, I think it definitely comes to down to how much you value yourself which was stated in another post. I would think that alot of these women who have these unwanted babies do not value themselves because if they did value their worth they would be more admant about using protection or some form of birth control and more selective about whom they share their bodies with.

[mary]

I totally agree with Jackson. I feel that the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and all the other mess 'we black people' get ourselves into, is to not have sex at all, until our life partners come along. Are we not that special a people, to cherish the one thing we brag about.
I am proud to say that I am a virgin, yes! Because its gotten to a point that when I meet guys, I don't want to do anything with them, because I don't know who they've been with, what they have and I'm still young, guys my age will do and say anything to get what they want.
A friend of mine is facing the consequence of her action. She is going into her third yr at uni, and has just had a baby; the guy who is the 'daddy' doesn't want anything to do with her, it was an act of desperation on both their parts.

I feel sorry for the children that are born. They live their lives in the shadows of all the mistakes made.
I also have to say that I feel really awful about the fact that grandparents are getting younger and younger. I mean doesn't the term Grandparent mean an OAP, retired, grey hair false teeth and not 32 working class, dating daddy's friend or my friend's dad gold tooth partying with mum and dad twice a week? come on people what is happening to us?

We need to respect ourselves, waiting isn't a bad thing, they say 'patients is a virtue'
Lets broke this cycle we as a people have gotten ourselves into. If all black people continue to sleep with each other, we are doing no other being wrong than ourselves, because sooner or later, we'll all become infected -It will be one big orgy- or isn't it already?



Stop! Ask Questions, Before you take it further.

[jamesfrmphilly]

Originally Posted by mary

I totally agree with Jackson. I feel that the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and all the other mess 'we black people' get ourselves into, is to not have sex at all, until our life partners come along. Are we not that special a people, to cherish the one thing we brag about.
I am proud to say that I am a virgin, yes! Because its gotten to a point that when I meet guys, I don't want to do anything with them, because I don't know who they've been with, what they have and I'm still young, guys my age will do and say anything to get what they want.
A friend of mine is facing the consequence of her action. She is going into her third yr at uni, and has just had a baby; the guy who is the 'daddy' doesn't want anything to do with her, it was an act of desperation on both their parts.

I feel sorry for the children that are born. They live their lives in the shadows of all the mistakes made.
I also have to say that I feel really awful about the fact that grandparents are getting younger and younger. I mean doesn't the term Grandparent mean an OAP, retired, grey hair false teeth and not 32 working class, dating daddy's friend or my friend's dad gold tooth partying with mum and dad twice a week? come on people what is happening to us?

We need to respect ourselves, waiting isn't a bad thing, they say 'patients is a virtue'
Lets broke this cycle we as a people have gotten ourselves into. If all black people continue to sleep with each other, we are doing no other being wrong than ourselves, because sooner or later, we'll all become infected -It will be one big orgy- or isn't it already?

um, it is possible to have quite nice sex with out negative consequences......

[Mrs. Alexander]

Mary, I have to agree with you.

If you are not ready to accept the responbilities that come with having sex, than you probably shouldn't be doing it! Condoms break and birth control isn't perfect. There is always the possibility that something might go wrong.