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Insanity Controls
Half an inch from my common senses
Pulled away from my mental control
A sweet voice and brown eyes pulls me from what is solitude
Replacing it with a need for her and a fall from myself
She took my hand and in the process trapped my heart
Her existence her life her very face guides my every decision
All that locks me to reality is her absences from me
Days months years pass without her presents
Yet my mind is still controlled by her last impression in my memory
Thinking of ways to be with her which compromise my own well being
Leaving my present life to live a life of street walking
Vacating the warmth of my mothers home to sleep on cold concrete
Become options in my twisted mind of sadness and despair
Seeing her is my only driving force in the world me life MEANINGLESS
I plan my escape to her captivity from a lonely freedom
Knowing that a life style I would live would never help her
Still my mind tells me run to her before her mind erases you
Many options but none of them have the speedy results I long for
Memories of her haunt me thoughts of all I have missed push me more
A destructive path a threaten to cross but for her I’d willing die
A Picture a few words and a promise are not what I need
I must see her or I’ll die soulless for she is now my soul
I will contact her and tell her that I will see her soon
“Hey JaJa” “Hi Daddy” “You being a big girl for your mommy” “yeah”
Tear stinging my cheeks voice trembling but I have to stay strong
I can’t let my baby feel my heart in shambles she must know I care
“Okay be good for me, Alright!?” “Alright” “Daddy will see you soon”
“Okay” “Love U” “Love U 2”
I vowed I would be there for her
Would eat waste to feed my fraternal instincts
Prepared to live in the belly of the beast to be with in yards of my seed
My blood is my responsibility and I will fight to get that job back
Whether my life is the cost I must now pay for my part in her world
Insanity controls my life now a need to be with my child is all
Willing I let go of my judgment as long as she miles for me againJABOOM
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