Is interractial dating the answer to the problems in black relationships? - AfroChat - African American

Vegence · December 7th, 2004, 07:11 PM

Why is it that one of the main reasons we hear a black man or black woman dates someone outside of their race, it's because they simply are frustrated with those within their own race? Are we so stubborn that we simply refuse to listen to each other and work out what's going on in our relatioships are we so discouraged that we just want to give up ?

What ?

msqueen · December 7th, 2004, 07:19 PM

I think so VEGENCE.

I just hope that one day we can all accept one another! Be with who makes you happy but be aware of your reasoning behind your actions. Don't downgrade your race because of a few mishaps.

Learn to STAND STRONG and DEFEAT the enemies words. If you truly do have faith in black women/ men then stand your ground and seek answers. No one ever said that life was easy. Some things are worth a struggle.

Peace

Blak · December 7th, 2004, 08:40 PM

I think the people that make excuses wanted to date out of race already. I say stop blaming people and do the daamn thing to those people. If I have a broken pair of rollerblades that really should be fixed, and I toss them aside and ride my bicycle.....what have I done to fix the roller blade situation??? NOTHING. Is there anything wrong with me bike riding? Nope.....but I have no right to blame the roller blades for my bike riding if I wont put the effort to fix them.

See what I am saying....if you want to date out....do it....just dont talk that garbage about "all black women/men....blah blah blah"....that is BS. Problems happen when dting people of any race. If you want it to work....it will. Is it easy to find relationships for everyone?? Hell no. I am living proof. But if I am set on a black woman....then I better put in the work to get the results.

Now.....when someone who dates in race, is the exact same person, putting in the exct same effort, and truely is open to dating anyone including other blacks, finds that they are better off with someone out of race....good for them. But they still have no right to claim that this is the way it is for all.

If I dated short girls all my life and the relationships failed and the first tall one I happen to meet is charming....does that mean they all are??? If my mind was set ahead of time that every short girl was miserable and every tall one was nice, wouldnt the results of the relationship be more a self fulfilling prophecy than naturally occuring events???

Just a few things to think about.

Blak

Blak · December 7th, 2004, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msqueen

I think so VEGENCE.

I just hope that one day we can all accept one another! Be with who makes you happy but be aware of your reasoning behind your actions. Don't downgrade your race because of a few mishaps.

Learn to STAND STRONG and DEFEAT the enemies words. If you truly do have faith in black women/ men then stand your ground and seek answers. No one ever said that life was easy. Some things are worth a struggle.

Peace

:biggrin: ;) :)

very nice post!!!!

Blak

December 7th, 2004, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegence

Why is it that one of the main reasons we hear a black man or black woman dates someone outside of their race, it's because they simply are frustrated with those within their own race? Are we so stubborn that we simply refuse to listen to each other and work out what's going on in our relatioships are we so discouraged that we just want to give up ?

What ?

its not that we can't talk things out...some peeps simply resort to bashing their own race just to justify themselves running to a white person..

JamieC · December 7th, 2004, 08:59 PM

Shouldn't matter cause we're all mixed up anyway. My mom has a white boyfriend she's cool with it. My dad is married to a white chick and they've been married 20 years now. That's on them though.. to each his/own I guess.

DBlack · December 7th, 2004, 09:09 PM

Well, personally I can't see it. While I can understand their 'excuses' and rationale for jumping the fence, it's still a copout to me. But I also recognize that it's my opinion, and they two people in a relationship shouldn't give a deezam about how others feel about them. That fact that people feel defensive about who they claim to love says plenty about the relationship already.

Yeah, I think it's trife, and a sellout to your own race. Most whites are not deserving of us. But That's me. If you REALLY love them, then there's no reason to launch a salvo of weak excuses to justify why you pledge allegiance to them.

Firebug · December 8th, 2004, 07:15 PM

I say to the IR couples that truly love each other and make that step to get married than thats legitimate. The thing with me is the black men with white women, who look down on black women like we are beneath him, now that he's with a white. I have seen this first hand and its so sad. That black man will validate his love for his white woman by degrading, insulting, and loathing the black woman, by telling the white woman things like "their too loud for me, lazy, fat, nobody wants a big *** like that, or she's too dark. That kind of self hate is dangerous, I dont know what he sees in the mirror, but what I see when I look at him is a self-hating blackman that cant mask his own racial insecurities by laying up with a white woman.

Intelligent_One · December 8th, 2004, 09:30 PM

I could never understand those that will bash their own race to justify why they are with someone of another race yet are apart of that race. <----Was that confusing? Anyway....my point is this. If a BM is with a WW and she believes all this BS about BW being this and that...blah blah. What happenes when they have a child? A daughter....who in essence will be a Black woman with mixed heritage? What is this WW going to tell and share with her daughter without being racists and bringing back up what that BM told her? Its a vicious cycle ya'll.

originata · December 9th, 2004, 11:47 AM

Many of us have this Black is bad mentality. I think self hatred is embedded in many Black people in this country. You hardly ever hear of other races saying they date interracially because they hate or can't stand their own. Often times, we see people have the same problems materialize when they do date interracially but yet they're more understanding of their different race mate. On top of the fact that people are just too lazy to look at what role they play in their own lives.