Is interractial dating the answer to the problems in black relationships?

[Isis]

If you are with a someone out of your race because you love who they are as a PERSON, fine, but to love them because of their RACE, you have serious issues.

[AdriansMommy]

Originally Posted by Blak

I think the people that make excuses wanted to date out of race already. I say stop blaming people and do the daamn thing to those people. If I have a broken pair of rollerblades that really should be fixed, and I toss them aside and ride my bicycle.....what have I done to fix the roller blade situation??? NOTHING. Is there anything wrong with me bike riding? Nope.....but I have no right to blame the roller blades for my bike riding if I wont put the effort to fix them.

See what I am saying....if you want to date out....do it....just dont talk that garbage about "all black women/men....blah blah blah"....that is BS. Problems happen when dting people of any race. If you want it to work....it will. Is it easy to find relationships for everyone?? Hell no. I am living proof. But if I am set on a black woman....then I better put in the work to get the results.

Now.....when someone who dates in race, is the exact same person, putting in the exct same effort, and truely is open to dating anyone including other blacks, finds that they are better off with someone out of race....good for them. But they still have no right to claim that this is the way it is for all.

If I dated short girls all my life and the relationships failed and the first tall one I happen to meet is charming....does that mean they all are??? If my mind was set ahead of time that every short girl was miserable and every tall one was nice, wouldnt the results of the relationship be more a self fulfilling prophecy than naturally occuring events???

Just a few things to think about.

Blak

Very good post....I can agree witht this lol

[Lonewolf]

I can agree with that also. However, I also feel that a bit of variety can help one's view. if anything, it can expose the person to the fact that every race generally has the same types of issues in relationships.

For me personally, it's about taking a look around and trying something new. I've generally recieved more attention from non black women, even though I've never dated out. I'll admit that frustration has played a big part, but it's like someone else said on this board, if you're accepted one place why deny yourself happiness for the sake of staying "loyal" to people who aren't feeling you for whatever reason? I paraphrased it, but I'm sure you'll see it floating around in the quotes box sometime.

[Ocedion]

Me!! I Just love me some black women!!! But as single black man without children I prefer a lady without children. This is the stats I have to deal with, 6 out of 10 black women has children and baby daddy drama, the other 4 have some major drama in there life b/c of bad choices some of which they blame black men for!! Most black men out their don't want to deal with that...the last time I checked! But still I love my sisters to death!! If and I have dated or choose have a relationship with a lady out my race it's because I want and choose to!! Not for vengance or some other funky old pathic excuse, like some people do!

[Lonewolf]

Good points.

[Chelbe]

I don't quite understand how intentionally dating outside of your race is helping your own race, it only adds to the problems you are running away from and solves nothing IMO. If you feel that you are giving up on all black people out of spite I don't think you will ever really find what you need or what you're looking for. There are some bad apples out there true in deed, but I personally don't see that as enough reason to label all of us the same and jump ship.
Now.. love is love and love sees no color, that is fine, but for any reasons other than that or genuine interest you need to do some soul searching. JMO

[jimihaze]

It has a lot to do with self-hate I have heard both black women and black men say bad things about each other as reasons as to why they date outside of the race. but now black women are saying that black men do not want them they want women of other races and that is why they are now dating outside of the race more than ever. Black women are doing what black men have been doing for years they are now marrying white men. think about it some black men will be with a black woman for years and never marry the black women. a black man will date another woman outside of his race for maybe a couple of months a year at the most and the black man will marry her and accept any children that the woman has from other men no questions asked no matter how many they have and the black man will do it with a smile and like it. Black men will not do this for black women. the black man will date a black woman with a child or kids until something else better comes along. One or two might marry a black women with a child but that black man is few and next to none.

[Lonewolf]

"One or two might marry a black women with a child but that black man is few and next to none."

Really? I thought plenty of guys did this. I know I won't do it, but I didn't think it was a big deal to most guys since so many women have kids out of wedlock.

Anyway, I don't know that dating out will fix relations between black men and women. However, I feel like if I had dated out when I was younger and feeling ignored by black women, I wouldn't feel the way I do today. See, if I had simply gone out on dates with the other women who were interested in me, I might not have become so angry with black women, because I wouldn't have felt like I was being "loyal" for nothing. However, I decided against dating non-black but found myself very much alone, despite my efforts and "loyalty". I became quite bitter and angry as a result.

Nowadays, I don't exclude based on race and I feel better about black women because I'm not making them a priority (go figure). I no longer make them my only option and so I don't feel so bad if one isn't interested in me. I know I have options elsewhere, PLENTY of options. I think a lot of my anger was based on the fact that I made marrying a black woman my mission in life and felt rejected by them at every turn. Now that I have created more options for myself, I can't say I care too much.

I said all that to say that maybe interracial dating isn't the "answer", but it might not hurt too bad to try it. At the very least a man or a woman who wants companionship won't be sitting around lonely and in despair because their own is ignoring them. I don't get mad if I see a black woman out with someone other than a black guy. I understand all too well and am not offended by it.

[naskiecenye]

Originally Posted by Vegence

Why is it that one of the main reasons we hear a black man or black woman dates someone outside of their race, it's because they simply are frustrated with those within their own race? Are we so stubborn that we simply refuse to listen to each other and work out what's going on in our relatioships are we so discouraged that we just want to give up ?


What ?

or maybe just maybe they date because they are attracted to that particular race

[Serenity4Ever]

I'm all for interracial dating. If that's what float's your boat then "Ay Ay Skipper!" People have a right to be with whoever they want, but I don't see how being with someone of a different race is going to help a person learn how to communicate more effectively with members of their own race.