Should A Guy Ever Be A Woman's Doormat?

[Ocedion]

That girl is a mistake....leave that girl alone

[DBlack]

I should also add that while men that are truly interested in a woman will sometimes fall short of making enough time availbable for that femail of interest, this is not the case for women.

If a woman likes you, she WILL make the time. I don't care if she's got 6 kids, 4 jobs and pursuing a doctorates.

[goodcookinmama]

youcan only be a door mat if you let some one treat you like one i know my husband
treated me like one because i let him get rid of her now i came here for advice and found that and more and glad to say that i am no longer any bodys door mat by the way thanks afc family you opened my eyes for the better

[Lonewolf]

I think it's a shame a woman would do this, especially since they're always complaining that there aren't enough men to go around. Why play with a guy who is obviously trying to be a good man to you?

Anyway, I'm glad for you Goodcookin', you made your escape and are a wiser woman. Now tell your sisters what you've learned so they can evolve too.

[TheRocdoctor]

Your problem isn't that you like Ms. X, it's that you haven't decided to follow some basic rules about dating. No matter how much you like someone, if they don't like and respect you enough to keep their committments to show up for the date, pick you up on time, whatever, you're going to be a miserable puppy. She's not really using you as a doormat. She's simply using you for a dinner companion when she can't find someone else. If you were a priority to her, she would be terribly, terribly, terribly careful about forgetting about your dates. The fact that you gave her a second chance and SHE BLEW IT is indicative of how unimportant you are to her. And if you're unimportant to her, it's only a matter of time before you'll end up with more than just a broken heart. I learned the hard way never depend upon people who don't respect and like you. (Although, even I have to admit, after the first time screwing up as she did, I don't think I would have given her another chance to waste an evening for me.)

By the way, men are far more likely to do this than women. I end up counseling women to leave a man alone after they do this once.

My favorite all time story is of a friend who was all excited about her date one weeknight with some guy who claimed he had money in the bank. She said he was good looking and had been bothering her about going out for weeks or months. Brotherman never showed. Later, he gave the excuse that he fell asleep in the bathtub. I love this story because it is indicative of how folks who will run over your feelings think others are so gullible [i]that they will suck down such lies. My friend, thank the Lord, was smart enough to see through this one and never give the guy a second chance.

But the tell in your example is that the woman claimed that she left her telephone at home; that should have been enough for you to never talk to her again. Despite the massive explosion of the cell phone market, there are still landlines in every major and minor city in the land.

She could have gone to a pay telephone and made a quick call to tell you that she really screwed up. And if she had really screwed up and was really interested in you, she would have called the second she realized that she was supposed to be on a date with you and driven to your home to pick you up or asked you would it be okay if you came to the club to pick her up (sure, that's pushing it, but at least it would have been in keeping with the idea that the date is very important to her).

Not only that, she would have apologized to her friends (quite frankly, she didn't leave the club cause she wasn't at the club, she was out with another man, most likely, who she couldn't abandon in the middle of the evening) and told them that she had somewhere she was supposed to be. You see, if she were serious about you, she would have done any number of things to make this up to you. If she were serious about you as much as you like her, she would have offered to take you somewhere special to make up for her bad memory. She would have offered to give you something that you want. But she probably understands that she can abuse you without paying any price, unless she's a sociopath -- treating everyone this way -- who simply leaves wreckage in her wake like a bull in a china shop, not caring what people think of her bad behavior.

Some people are like that. They'll tell you all day, "Oh, so and so will get over it." Then they can't understand why they have almost no friends.

Yeah, your girl wasn't out with friends. She doesn't have any.

[Weapon_of_Israel]

Most people got it right, If i were you i would leave that sister alone. No cuddling or nothing like that.....just leave quickly

[goodcookinmama]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf

I think it's a shame a woman would do this, especially since they're always complaining that there aren't enough men to go around. Why play with a guy who is obviously trying to be a good man to you?

Anyway, I'm glad for you Goodcookin', you made your escape and are a wiser woman. Now tell your sisters what you've learned so they can evolve too.

for sure i will not go down that road again

[lizaa]

WHEN someone shows you disrespect in the beginning-did you hear this??IN THE BEGINNING- leave them alone, really-no respect for your feelings , or respect for your time ,please deal with REALITY..it is what it is!! Anyone who cares would not treat you so badly-no matter how she cuddled with you in front of her so-called 'friends'..leave people that treat you badly alone.I always give people an A in the beginning and let them know my likes and major dislikes-if they can't get with my style than they can happily move on-and in your case -you should move along-she sounds scary.

[the_truth]

After the first time you should have laid down the rules and if she did that again you shoul have lost her number. Like someone said above, she obviously didn'thave any interest in you because if she did she would have made time for you. You were just something to do for her when she didnt have anything else to do!! FIND SOMEONE ELSE!!!

not that you need to know this but if you want the booty you know you cant go out with her and her friends cause you will be designated to gay, not cause you are but if you see one dude out with ten chicks more than likely he is gay.

My advice is not to say anything, if you got a date schedules just wait for it to go down dont be callin, dont you have better things to do, thats how I do my thing when the situation is like yours (if it is a date, casual friends is different only canel in emergencies then) make the plans and see how you feel maybe you dont feel like impressing this woman tonight put that ish on ice til next weekend go do something fun by yourself and when you feel like actually going out with her call her and get her to go out at that instant otherwise you are playing the waiting game.