Should A Guy Ever Be A Woman's Doormat?

[Lonewolf]

Man, I was where you were once and it almost ruined me. You are like...18th on her list of things to do. It's a shame stupid women play games like this because they screw it up for other women...BAD. I was a changed man after my experience like that, believe me.

Just forget about her. If she calls again tell her you have better things to do than waste your time.

This is one of the reasons good guys go bad. Stupid strumpets who like to take advantage...

[Chelbe]

If you set up another date and she does the same things as she has done before please don't act like you didn't see it coming and please blame yourself as much as you would blame her for your hurt feelings. Yeah, she might like you a little bit... but probably not as much as you like her. Unless you like the chase, I'd move on. If she is worth it, make yourself comfortable.

[Samoon]

There is, "no education in being kicked by a mule TWICE."

You seem as though you really would like for this to go somewhere with the lady in question. But consider this? She has moreorless informed you that you are not a priority at this time in her life, but rather, an option. You have two choices--leave or wait her out. Either way, good luck to you. : )

[charliekilothree]

Originally Posted by Mehujael

Hey Afrochat Family,

I met (lets call this person Ms. X) through the Internet personals. In her second e-mail she gave me her phone number. We talked and made a date to meet at a club. She was two hours late, but I didn't think anything of it because she called me every half hour to assure me that she was on her way and that she was stuck in traffic. When we got together she gave me all her attention. It was one of the best dates I've ever had.

We agreed on another date, this time dinner and a movie, but when the day came and I called to confirm, she never answered her phone. I called a few times that day and left messages and she never got back to me. Finally I stopped calling her. I was feeling angry and decided never to call her again. Two days later she e-mailed me an apology, then called and asked if the date was still open. Her excuse was that she'd gotten a call from her friends and she really wanted to go out with them. When she remembered our date, she realized she couldn't call me because she'd left her phone at home. Of course I thought it was horse manure, but since she'd called me back and her Interest Level seemed like 75%, and since I enjoyed our first date, I said yes.

Then she did it a second time. The day we were supposed to get together, she didn't answer her phone and I didn't hear from her. She called me later and asked me to go out. I said yes. We met and again had lots of fun - a great time, really. We have a lot in common and shared many thoughts and experiences. Naturally we agreed on a third date.

The third time she stood me up, I felt like garbage. I sent her an e-mail telling her that I liked her a lot, but if she's not going to make it to a date then I at least deserve a call, and that since we're only dating I would understand. She called later and told me she agreed. She explained that at the moment she's not really looking for a commitment and only wants to be friends, but that maybe in the future that would change. She invited me to go out with her and her friends. I went, and again she stayed with me the whole time, cuddling and kissing and getting more intimate than ever before.

My dilemma is that I like Ms. X a lot because she is beautiful and because of her attentiveness when we're together. Family, do you think she could be testing me, or just teasing me? Do you think she might be interested in me but expects me to put in more effort? If so, how do I go about it?

Afrochat Family -- help me to understand what's really going on.

Mehujael

After reading your post, a couple of songs come to mind. Both are by The Main Ingredient. The first one is Everybody Plays The Fool. The other one is Just Don't Want To Be Lonely. The first song has a verse that may apply to your situation.

"Everybody plays the fool sometime
There's no exception to the rule
Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel
I ain't lyin', everybody plays the fool
Falling in love is such an easy thing to do
And there's no guarantee that the one you love
Is gonna love you"

The second song also has a verse that may apply.

"I don't mind when the time
sets the sun to the moon
I just don't wanna be lonely
Let the stairs find you there
at the end of the room
I just don't wanna be lonely"

I would say to you, don't play the fool all of the time. I do think that Ms. X is playing you for a fool. You may want to be with her a whole lot more than she with you.

[MaximusRex]

I have to go with the board consenus. She had mininal interest in you. It seems you learned your lesson though.

Just a few pointers though. Unless a chick has death in her family or she has car trouble, bounce after 15 minutes. When she calls, tell her you went to your other activities.

When you call to confirm a date and a chick doesn't answer the phone, "release her from the team immediately," back to the minors she goes.

As far her not "looking for a relationship," see today's post by yours truly, entitled "What She's Really Saying:Womanese."

Since you got to kick it with her and her potnas, do it again. See if her friends are more apprecitive of you than she was.

Talk to more than one chick. When Ms X stood you up, you should've been able to go to the "bullpen," and brought your "reliever," in the game. Unless your in a relationship. You need a minimum of four chicks on your rotation.

She was "testing" you, and you failed. The test began the moment yall locked eyes in person. Women are always testing us to see what they can get away with. You have to be a man and dead that sh*t from jump. You put the blood in the water and you brought out the shark in her. Essentially you played p*ssy and you got f*cked.

I also recommend that you read my previous posts entitled "Stick To Your Guts," "Leykis 101," and "How To Approach A Woman." Good Luck.

[DocD]

you shold have never gone out with her after she was 2 hours late. you let her know that you didn't have anything better than to wait at a restaurant like a chump for 2 hours.
You have already set a pattern. 3 times stood up and you came back. you told her it was okay to treat you like that

[naskiecenye]

yeah she's not interested in you at all she may become interesting in the future but right now your just some dude from the internet dont sweat her and for god sakes dont call her anymore let her call u. I had a friend like u and i would clown him with my gf about how he rang my phone all the damn time too much.

Dblack give me some of that lemonade i dont have no gin but i have some bacardi right here

[RealTalk3000]

mahu,yo dawg, you a fool homie,I wouldnt ever fool with a chick like that, if she meant you some good, she wouldve gave you some major play, and continued to call you , and never wouldve stood you up.Those kind of women you never mess with in the first place, if i liked someone i would never stand them up, or speak with them because im bored etc. women like that dont deserve a great person like yourself, only the dogs she run behind.Sometimes it takes something terrible for a woman to realize what makes a good man and not what he has or what he does in bed, believe me all that fades away

[Tenkawa]

Run fast, run far, and run quickly.

Then, go take a shower and wash the footprints off of your back.

Hand me some of that lemonade, and put some vodka in it.

[sistahcutie]

My dilemma is that I like Ms. X a lot because she is beautiful and because of her attentiveness when we're together. Family, do you think she could be testing me, or just teasing me? Do you think she might be interested in me but expects me to put in more effort? If so, how do I go about it?

Afrochat Family -- help me to understand what's really going on.


Mehujeal, it doesn't matter how she looks or how fun she is, it matters how she treats you, and she has no respect for your time because she has stood you up and is late for the dates that you did have. You deserve a woman that treats you better than this one does.