All Men Cheat Or Have Cheated ?!?!?!? - Page 2 - AfroChat - African American

Lonewolf · May 5th, 2005, 08:11 PM

If a woman cheats on me, she's fired. No questions asked, I'm not interested in why, no second chances.

Now me? I did, once when I was 20. The reason I call it cheating is because I was not officially broken up with my so called girlfriend at the time. I didn't want to be with her anymore but she didn't know that yet, at least I don't think she did. As you can see, I was young then.

There is no excuse for it, and I didn't set out to, but it happened. She never knew about it, but I have to tell you that those guys were full of crap. When it happened it wasn't because someting was "missing" from the relationship (there was, but it had nothing to do with the night in question) it was because it was there. I was in a situation that I shouldn't have been in, and since I didn't like my girlfriend anymore I didn't have a problem with what I did at the time.

My point is, if I had been in a situation where I really was in love with my girlfriend and wanted to be with her still, there is NO WAY I would have allowed myself to be in that situation. The fact is I wasn't even thinking about her when it happened, so for these guys to say that they cheated because of their wives lacking somewhere is BS. They did it because they didn't care about their wives.

Would I cheat now? Nope, because if I was actually lucky enough to be with someone worth a d@mn there's no way I'd screw it up or disrespect our relationship. I had no idea back then that finding a so called "good" black woman would be next to impossible. So if I ever get one there's no chance in hell of me cheating.

But like I said, if she cheats, she's fired.

Phatkatt_76 · May 5th, 2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonewolf

If a woman cheats on me, she's fired. No questions asked, I'm not interested in why, no second chances.

Now me? I did, once when I was 20. The reason I call it cheating is because I was not officially broken up with my so called girlfriend at the time. I didn't want to be with her anymore but she didn't know that yet, at least I don't think she did. As you can see, I was young then.

There is no excuse for it, and I didn't set out to, but it happened. She never knew about it, but I have to tell you that those guys were full of crap. When it happened it wasn't because someting was "missing" from the relationship (there was, but it had nothing to do with the night in question) it was because it was there. I was in a situation that I shouldn't have been in, and since I didn't like my girlfriend anymore I didn't have a problem with what I did at the time.

My point is, if I had been in a situation where I really was in love with my girlfriend and wanted to be with her still, there is NO WAY I would have allowed myself to be in that situation. The fact is I wasn't even thinking about her when it happened, so for these guys to say that they cheated because of their wives lacking somewhere is BS. They did it because they didn't care about their wives.

Would I cheat now? Nope, because if I was actually lucky enough to be with someone worth a d@mn there's no way I'd screw it up or disrespect our relationship. I had no idea back then that finding a so called "good" black woman would be next to impossible. So if I ever get one there's no chance in hell of me cheating.

But like I said, if she cheats, she's fired.

Now that's what I'm talkin about !! That was as real as it gets. I know we all do things ( dumb shhhh ) when were young. But after making a decision, especially before God, there has to be some maturity and honor to it.

If you're missing THAT much from ur relationship then be a MAN or woman

(LOL) and walk away. I think cheating is an extremely selfish act, esppecially if kept a secret. They just want it all, which for me, that would be fine. Just let a sistah know where ur coming from, we can't control the things ppl do, but were allowed to react. I think that's a cheater's biggest fear.

Lonewolf · May 5th, 2005, 08:53 PM

"Just let a sistah know where ur coming from, we can't control the things ppl do, but were allowed to react. I think that's a cheater's biggest fear."

Maybe, but in my situation I really wasn't thinking about her. I guess it's because in my mind she wasn't my girlfriend anymore. I was in a different city and didn't have any plans to mess with her when I got home. This is the same girl I mentioned in another thread that made a stupid statement to me and it took me a while to figure out why I was offended. I lost interest at that point, but looking back I think I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find anyone else if I broke up with her. We had been "high school sweethearts" and we were all we knew. It turns out I was right, since I haven't had a meaningful relationship since then. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being punished, but I know people who have done much worse and have had much success, so I doubt it.

But anyway, I don't think cheaters fear anything. They just don't care. I know I didn't. To be honest, I felt worse for the girl I cheated with, because she expressed serious interest and she ended up being hurt. I still regret that to this day.

Ocedion · May 5th, 2005, 09:06 PM

I have never cheated...i say never cheated. I am very close to my mother and she told me if I ever cheated on my significant other, i am not only disrespecting the girl i'm with, I am also her (my mother) and myself. Why would I wanna disrespect my mother? She is the one who gave me life...it's b/c her i am here!! And for the quys who thinks "it's there duty to please that booty" how would you feel if that's your mother getting her booty please by some other man around the way who got a girl. Ladies the same goes for you to!!!

Lonewolf · May 5th, 2005, 10:12 PM

Hmm...

See, I have trouble looking at these women the same way I do my mother. My mother is a saint, but these women...wel, they're just women. I treat people the way I want to be treated, so I feel like if I do that everything else will take care of itself. Right now though, I'm not taking women too seriously.

Ocedion · May 5th, 2005, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonewolf

Hmm...

See, I have trouble looking at these women the same way I do my mother. My mother is a saint, but these women...wel, they're just women. I treat people the way I want to be treated, so I feel like if I do that everything else will take care of itself. Right now though, I'm not taking women too seriously.

I feel yah!!! But I still got respect for the ladies yah know!!! I just don;t have that much faith in them

therealisticlady · May 5th, 2005, 10:33 PM

Ok I guess I am going to be the first woman to confess here. I did cheat on my ex husband but only after I knew and also told him our relationship was through. Although I dont believe my ex husband cheated on me I took alot of abuse in our 13 year marriage both physical and emotional. When I came to myself I realized that I was selling my self short and that I was entitled to be happy. We did do the counseling thing proir to my cheating on him but once I realized that there was no way our relationship could be mended I did what made me happy. I cant say that is was nice but I can say I didnt feel guilty. I always told him to never ask things he didnt really want to know the answer to and althoug I did tell him I was cheating he just refused to give up. I guess that goes to the fact that you never know what you really have until it is gone. I dont believe I would ever cheat on anyone again because I know the hurt, pain, and destruction that it can cause a family. Also I married young and my ex was 15 years my elder. I guess when he lost control of me he knew what he had coming.

On the flip side I have been cheated on also. For some reason I get men who want to confess their sins to me like I am mother teresa or something. No I didnt forgive them nor did I ever give them a second thought. Although my feelings were hurt, I knew they could never be trusted again.

In case you are wondering, yes the man I am currently with does know about the indescretions I committed against my ex husband. Is the current man cheating? Two years living together and so far no clue that it is in his character to cheat but you just never know. I guess my question is, does having this information make you less trusting of your man/woman?

JamieC · May 5th, 2005, 10:51 PM

A lot of people cheat. Their just too afraid to admit it. A little too late when they go "Well I was trying to find myself". Ya lyin' and ya know it!! :av-50556: