Is it or isn't it about looks?

[Vegence]

My uncle and I were talking and he said something relating to women and wanting a man to make money. I said well "you guys want us to look a certain way and woman want a man who can go out a make an honest living".

He said something like "men are visual and want someone who is pleasing to his (the individual man's)" eye ,but that her looks won't keep her around ,

how he is treated by his woman will keep her around!

So I'm like ok, "but if she is not appealing to you physically how will you know if she treats you right, cause because of her looks you aren't even giving her the time of the day?"

Needless to say I'm still looking for an answer to that................

So I'm posing the question to the board, particuarly the fellas.

Is it possible that you've missed out on a wonderful person because of what they looked like?

[Lonewolf]

Oh yeah, I'm sure it's possible. But I maintain that I'm not looking for Lisa Raye or Halle Berry out here, that's very unrealistic. But I would at least like a woman that I'm more attracted to than less.I'd hate it if a woman wasn't attracted to me but decided to settle. I've never minded if a woman had a few extra pounds and I'm not all that obsessed over a woman's body shape. I like a woman that can work with what she has. But the real bottom line is that beauty fades and with the difficulities I've had in finding a black woman to be with, I'm starting to lean more towards "as long as I can stand to look at her". So I don't want to just settle but at the same time...I'd like to be attracted to her in some way.


But I think your uncle is dead on. Men like looks and women like "stuff". I guess it's natural selection or something.

[Blak]

I think that for sure men have missed on a good woman for these reasons. Men and women in their separate ways go for "surface qualities". Men want a woman who looks and moves a certian way, women have no patience to wait for a man to make a life or exhibit all the qualities they want (mr perfect-right-now).

I personally will give any woman that shows interest a chance to show what she is made of. BTW...women reject based on looks too....dont get it twisted.

Some men need to smarten up for real and tell the difference between a woman that would be good inthe short term, versus the long term. Women need to smarten up and know that becuase a man is not an automatic success and smooth GQ type in the short term, does not mean he wont be in the long term as he grows as a person.

Blak

[Vegence]

I think when everyone realizes that it's what inside that counts the world will be a better place. Unfortunatly though as it stands and has been standing for years, our children are taught at an early age to go look at the other things as opposed to what is inside.

Originally Posted by Blak

I think that for sure men have missed on a good woman for these reasons. Men and women in their separate ways go for "surface qualities". Men want a woman who looks and moves a certian way, women have no patience to wait for a man to make a life or exhibit all the qualities they want (mr perfect-right-now).

I personally will give any woman that shows interest a chance to show what she is made of. BTW...women reject based on looks too....dont get it twisted.

Some men need to smarten up for real and tell the difference between a woman that would be good inthe short term, versus the long term. Women need to smarten up and know that becuase a man is not an automatic success and smooth GQ type in the short term, does not mean he wont be in the long term as he grows as a person.

Blak

[tafui]

Originally Posted by Blak

I think that for sure men have missed on a good woman for these reasons. Men and women in their separate ways go for "surface qualities". Men want a woman who looks and moves a certian way, women have no patience to wait for a man to make a life or exhibit all the qualities they want (mr perfect-right-now).

I personally will give any woman that shows interest a chance to show what she is made of. BTW...women reject based on looks too....dont get it twisted.

Some men need to smarten up for real and tell the difference between a woman that would be good inthe short term, versus the long term. Women need to smarten up and know that becuase a man is not an automatic success and smooth GQ type in the short term, does not mean he wont be in the long term as he grows as a person.

Blak

I agree. Good post!

Peace,
tafui

[slickbitty]

Of course it's about looks. I won't lie, because to deny it is to lie to myself.
For instance, when you're buying fruit, you don't get the bruised orange, or tomato. You don't get the brown lettuce. You don't get the dusty brown cuke. Why, because they're not good anymore.
I know it's a 'cheap' analogy, but it's an accurate one. We are visual people period. There was actually a study that proved that men are more visual, but it has to do with the propagation of the species. A smart man, who want's healthy children would not pick the stick thin woman. He wants a woman with hips and some flesh, because subsconciously he knows that this woman would be able to carry and bear healthy children. Not to mention care for them. Women aren't as visual, but they subconsiouly (sp) want a strong muscular man, because he's a worker and will provide.

I'm not saying to focus on looks, because once you get past the initial attraction, there has to be some substance there to make you want to stay. My husband could look like Boris Kodjoe, but if he's not bringing any intellect to the table, he'd never have made it past the 2nd date. (No he doesn't look like Boris, but he is fine. I won't say what he looks like, because he does read what I write, and I tease him about it all the time.)

yeah it is about looks but that dont keep them around for real I have dated some fine sisters that were either mentally not with it or the hygiene was not up to par or they just didnt know what a relationship was about.

See cause I am not the type of cat to go all crazy over a woman cause she is fly and alot of these brothers out here are like that and they spoil these women so they act like they can do anything and being good lookin is enough, the same goes for men too alot of these fools out here think that cause they are fly there woman wont leave them and they can do what they please and not get caught up,

looks are like physical first impressions to relationships or the wrapping or maybe the wrapping is the clothes and the skin is the sweet milk chocolate that I must take a bite out of to get to the cherrrrrrr.............

HOLD ON WHAT WERE WE TALKIN ABOUT I WAS DISTRACTED..........

looks matter but not as much as personality

[jamesfrmphilly]

i have never had a plain or homely woman in my life.
if she ain't fine, it ain't on.

because of this i have had some crazy and spaced out ladies in my life.

i accept the trade off.

just as long as when she take off her clothes, she make it all worth while.
that is my reality.

[DBlack]

Before marriage, every woman that I claimed was a dyme. Didn't really care alot about too much else, because I didin't have to be with her for too long or live with her.

[Curious1]

Men are visual...women are looking for hunters..,protectors..

Curious1