Ready-made Family

[ImaJon]

It's not for everyone if your aren't fully prepared for the added pressure. I'm sure understanding is a term used by all but for sure it's a definite need in this situation.

For thirty plus years now I've been married to a woman that had children and so did I. If the person is the right soulmate for you, you'll know, go for it. Everybody needs to be loved, especially the children.

[mandingo]

[quote=MrAtlanta]You just can't go around feeling your oats by loud talking everyone in the household while asserting your "manhood", and telling them stuff like this:



What do you mean they have no choice?

No disrespect my brotha, but that sounded like the language that a Neanderthal would speak, if he could.

QUOTE]

You're not going to get the point until you look at it from a different perspective. It's not about loud talking people. It's about taking control of every situation you walk into, whether it's a male-female relationship, work, etc. You have to be in charge. And that's not a forced thing it's just defining what is acceptable behavior and what's not in your presence. People will respect that because you give them no choice.

I'm speaking from experience of someone who didn't alway understand that point but once I did life became more clear and enjoyable. Life really is all about you and how you allow people to act around you. The most independent and headstrong of women will respect that. If they don't you shut it down and that's not saying physically or by yelling. You have to know how to command respect from everyone with just your presence.

One last point, you have to show everyone in the situation love. Genuine love. The kids and the mother. If they can't respect what you need from them and you showed them true unconditional love then respectfully that is not the situation for you. Those people shouldn't be in your life. But usually it's a person who half steps in a situation trying to get what they want without giving too much of themselves. I understand it but at this point in my life I don't respect that at all. Especially when there are children involved.

[Corals]

Originally Posted by MadameX

As said before, many women don't have any problems with ready made families who are singles. Because most men over thrity have been married or have children outisde of marriage.

So in essence, what Brotha Mandigo said is valid. As long as he keeps the babymama in check, there won't be any problems in adding on a family. Because, if the women really loves her man, she's going to love his children as well.

Exactly!! That being the case, anyone over thirty who is sitting down waiting to grab a man who is over thirty without any kids are going to end up with a sore bum.

It is realistic to expect the majority of men, and women for that matter, to have kids and I personally think anyone who think otherwise is living in fantasy and should wake up.

I don't have any kids, and I'm a realist and I know that the person I meet will most likely have kids of their own, due to the reasons stated by MadameX.

[stiab3]

For some women, having a man isn't so important that they'll settle for one who doesn't meet their fundamental criteria.

But I do reckon that there is a similar percentage of child-free men as their are women.

s3

[Corals]

Originally Posted by stiab3

For some women, having a man isn't so important that they'll settle for one who doesn't meet their fundamental criteria.

But I do reckon that there is a similar percentage of child-free men as their are women.

s3

It is not about the importance of having a man, it is facing up to reality.
I do think the percentage might be higher with regard to men, as they seem to like to spread their oats more freely. lol

[MzKwietStorm]

I respect a man's decision if he doesn't want to date me because I have kids. I simply look at it as his loss not mine. I wouldn't mine dating a guy that has kids as long as he doesn't have that crazy baby momma drama, but if he's special and he does have it, I'm strong enough to handle. Finding a mate without kids or someone who hasn't been married is like searching for a needle in a haystack, but no one should settle for less than what they feel they deserve. Everyone has their preference.

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by Corals

It is not about the importance of having a man, it is facing up to reality.
I do think the percentage might be higher with regard to men, as they seem to like to spread their oats more freely. lol

This is so true Coral.

[stiab3]

Some people are facing reality and they prefer to stick to their guns and be alone. Rather than compromise one of their fundamentals.

Everyone is different. And some can adopt a ready-made family and it'll work out and they'll live happily ever after. They may even be some social 'pressure' on them to settle for a compromise.

But these things don't always work out. There are some 'wicked step-mothers (and fathers)' out there who would probably have been better off (along with the kids and the rest of society) if they'd passed on the ready-made family.

So if a woman is insistent that she doesn't want a man with children, then perhaps that's the way it is for her.

s3

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by stiab3

Everyone is different. And some can adopt a ready-made family and it'll work out.

I agree with you that everyone is different. God made us this way for reason and a season. As a result, he sends different mates to us for that purpose.

[ms.casteele]

i have am 27 and i have two lil gurls befor i met my man and me as a person i dont get upset when i met a man who does not want to talk to me because i have two lil gurls i just feel like hey thats you everyone aint tha same you run into them type of people, and then you have the other type who dont mind a woman with kids or a man with kids i found a man who did not have kids but excepted tha fact that i had two kids and he love me just tha same and my gurls, and now we live together, have been for tha last 2 and half years we have a son.