Being Single Again....

[TaMikaBreeze]

Okay so I'm single for the first time in 3 years as of yesterday....
It feels so wierd, almost like I'm not myself...

I have abandonment issues from the way I grew up, but I don't like facing that because I refuse to let it become a crutch.

By far, nighttime is the worst for me. Cause I'm in bed alone and start thinking alot, so I end up crying/sobbing myself to sleep. I hate that! With a passion!!

What should I do to kinda "speed up" the healing process?
Because I cannot take much more of this, I want it to be done.

[MzKwietStorm]

You can't really "speed up" the process. Unfortunately, it's going to hurt and the best thing to do right now is to let it all out since it just happened. As the days go by, you'll find yourself getting stronger and stronger. If you're alone in your bed, watch a movie or something until you fall asleep because if you lay in a dark room with nothing going on around you, the only other thing to do is think. Just give it time and you'll be okay. I've been there, I know exactly how you feel.

[InnerCityRose]

Been there done that, so I understand it's not easy. However, I don't think you should try and speed up the process..you have to allow yourself some time to grieve the situation and feel what you need to feel. Only then can you really heal, let go and move on to a healthier and emotional state of mind. Just my two cents.

[afrocentric]

uh huh, honey! get yo behind on up and quit yo crying. all that slobbing and snotting going on aint gone help. hit them damn clubs....you's way too cute and young to be a hermit... call them friends of yours up and hit the mall, you ain't got time to sitting around and all these brothers passing you by. no way! you think that nappy headed ex-boyfriend of yours is laying around boo hooing...no! he's probably on the phone talking to the other girl right about now. damn that! take yo cute behind on over your other friends house and party on...you heard!!!

[TaMikaBreeze]

Originally Posted by MzKwietStorm

You can't really "speed up" the process. Unfortunately, it's going to hurt and the best thing to do right now is to let it all out since it just happened. As the days go by, you'll find yourself getting stronger and stronger. If you're alone in your bed, watch a movie or something until you fall asleep because if you lay in a dark room with nothing going on around you, the only other thing to do is think. Just give it time and you'll be okay. I've been there, I know exactly how you feel.

I never thought about distracting myself like that (cause i usually sleep with everything off).
I'll definitely try that tonight.
Thanks for your help!

[InnerCityRose]

Originally Posted by afrocentric

uh huh, honey! get yo behind on up and quit yo crying. all that slobbing and snotting going on aint gone help. hit them damn clubs....you's way too cute and young to be a hermit... call them friends of yours up and hit the mall, you ain't got time to sitting around and all these brothers passing you by. no way! you think that nappy headed ex-boyfriend of yours is laying around boo hooing...no! he's probably on the phone talking to the other girl right about now. damn that! take yo cute behind on over your other friends house and party on...you heard!!!

Yeah if only it were that simple...it's NOT.

[TaMikaBreeze]

Originally Posted by afrocentric

uh huh, honey! get yo behind on up and quit yo crying. all that slobbing and snotting going on aint gone help. hit them damn clubs....you's way too cute and young to be a hermit... call them friends of yours up and hit the mall, you ain't got time to sitting around and all these brothers passing you by. no way! you think that nappy headed ex-boyfriend of yours is laying around boo hooing...no! he's probably on the phone talking to the other girl right about now. damn that! take yo cute behind on over your other friends house and party on...you heard!!!

Lol this whole post sums up what I've decided for myself. and u kno what??? Ima get off my sobbin *** and hit the mall. LMAO! Life is to short to sit around thinking bout the past. u learn and move on.
Thanks much afrocentric!!!

[InnerCityRose]

Originally Posted by TaMikaBreeze

Lol this whole post sums up what I've decided for myself. and u kno what??? Ima get off my sobbin *** and hit the mall. LMAO! Life is to short to sit around thinking bout the past. u learn and move on.
Thanks much afrocentric!!!

Good Luck with that...what happens when the mall closes or when your friends have all gone home etc? You are there again with just your thoughts. I am not saying have a pity party for yourself, just allow yourself some time to heal...your feelings are real.

[afrocentric]

i see what you're saying innercity but life is short. why cry over spilled milk? now if she has true friends they will sit with her, cry with her, be there for her and help her thru this. thank god for my friends when i went thru the same thing. and what did they do afterwards.... they took me out and showed me a good time.

[JamieC]

Sorry to hear you're going through it. Girl just get out there and cherish life to the fullest. Get involved with activities and treat yourself to a massage or lunch. Don't let anything get you down because love takes time to heal and I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you that much more.