Being Single Again....

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by TaMikaBreeze

Okay so I'm single for the first time in 3 years as of yesterday....
It feels so wierd, almost like I'm not myself...

I have abandonment issues from the way I grew up, but I don't like facing that because I refuse to let it become a crutch.

By far, nighttime is the worst for me. Cause I'm in bed alone and start thinking alot, so I end up crying/sobbing myself to sleep. I hate that! With a passion!!

What should I do to kinda "speed up" the healing process?
Because I cannot take much more of this, I want it to be done.

Sistergirl, I'm sorry to hear that. it must be rough dealing with your abandonment issues which I hope possibly aren't related with HIV complications. Being that our sisters are the largest population of carrriers due to switching hitting DL brothers, you can't slack up with taking care of yourself and that's a fact. As part of keeping the Fro in the chat , we have to make sure that the masses of our people stay informed & safe. Peace Be Unto You My Sista.

[Voluptuous Miss]

Originally Posted by afrocentric

uh huh, honey! get yo behind on up and quit yo crying. all that slobbing and snotting going on aint gone help. hit them damn clubs....you's way too cute and young to be a hermit... call them friends of yours up and hit the mall, you ain't got time to sitting around and all these brothers passing you by. no way! you think that nappy headed ex-boyfriend of yours is laying around boo hooing...no! he's probably on the phone talking to the other girl right about now. damn that! take yo cute behind on over your other friends house and party on...you heard!!!

Wow, I need to take this advice for my damn self. I am newly single myself and it is hard sometimes. I have feelings of anger because I put myself thru so much, and I didn't have too And of course I get lonely too because sometimes I just want male company (not necessarily in a sexual way) it's especially hard to try to move on when the guy you are trying to move away from feeds you all types of bull. Your right Afrocentic, it's time to pick up the little black book, thanks gurl!!

[The Dragon]

Originally Posted by InnerCityRose

Good Luck with that...what happens when the mall closes or when your friends have all gone home etc? You are there again with just your thoughts. I am not saying have a pity party for yourself, just allow yourself some time to heal...your feelings are real.

I'm living proof that getting out and about, doing things you like and love after a painfull breakup helps alot. Even when you have to go home to the silence again, the pain tends to be a little bit more bearable after you have gotten out for a bit.

I say continue to go out and have some fun (make yourself do it!) and before you know it, the pain will be all gone!! And you will be wondering what you were in pain for in the first place.

But I also suggest you not date in order to deal with your baggage and eventually rid yourself of it. Never take baggage from a previous situation into the next relationship. Give that part of yourself ample time to heal...

[The Dragon]

Originally Posted by afrocentric

i see what you're saying innercity but life is short. why cry over spilled milk? now if she has true friends they will sit with her, cry with her, be there for her and help her thru this. thank god for my friends when i went thru the same thing. and what did they do afterwards.... they took me out and showed me a good time.

Exactly. By all means get it out of your system but don't stay in one place and wallow!! Cry, then get up, out and about; Soon you won't be crying anymore: Sooner than if you just stay in one place and wallow in your pain.