How Do You Stop Loving Someone?

[RBG3]

Say you're in love with someone who doesn't return those feelings to you...how do you go about not loving this person anymore?

I'm not talking about lust, or liking, I mean genuine "I'll die for you" love. With no possibility of them loving you back, how do you stop yourself or move on?

<< not to be rude, I just rarely get to use these things

[MzKwietStorm]

I was in a situation similar to that and I couldn't really stop myself. Love is not something you can turn on or off, IMO. Time helped me.

[afrocentric]

i agree with mskwietstorm. it's not easy to not love someone after the time you've spent with them. time has to take its course to heal.

[Jewels0479]

Well, I think that a lot of us have been in this position. What helped me was first of all, to distance myself from that person as much as possible (out of sght, out of mind) which is not easy. Then when I would feel like I just had to see them or call them, I'd remind myself that this person can't, for whatever reason, be what I want them to be in my life. The sight of them or any time spent with them might pacify the longing for the moment but the feelings always come back and all that you're doing by giving in to those desires is prolonging the inevitable -- the reality that this person will not be involved your life in the capacity that you'd like them to be involved. Constantly telling myself that I want, need and deserve more than what the person was willing or able to offer was what really helped me heal. "It is what it is.", and in life if you settle for less, you'll end up with less than what you settled for.

I don't know your personal situation but it doesn't really matter. If the person is a player, married, not interested, or otherwise unavailable the fact of the matter is, if you aren't getting what you need from the relationship you have to respect your emotional health and happiness enough to move away from that and find something that will truely make you happy with someone who is willing to put in the work with you. This may sound like run of the mill advice but it's truth. I look at my friends who have the kind of relationship that I want to one day have and the common factors in all of them is a mutual love and respect. If you aren't receiving what you're giving, that doesn't necessarily make the object of your affection a bad person, it just means that unless you want to constantly be the person giving while receiving little or nothing in return, you have to be wise and strong enough to move away. It takes baby steps and TIME but eventually, you'll find the strenght to not wait for someone who isn't able to love you the way that you deserve.

[RBG3]

Thanks for your posts..it's been 3 years now..haha I hope I won't need much more time..

As for distance, I'm trying to visit london, England, and Atlanta and NYC..to get away from the person..get her out of my mind..I've gone places before but it never worked..

I guess what I need to do is remind myself that she can't be in my life when I think about her..that is really hard though..

[Proudbrothaman]

Time heals all wounds!!!!

[RBG3]

Made mine bigger lol

[Rex12]

just stop thinking about them and find some other things to do

[UglymanCometh]

Stop thinking about them... stop spending time with them... completely cut them out of your life.

Trust me, it's the ONLY way to go. I've had to do it MANY times.

[blkbuttafly]

STAY AWAY FROM LENNY WILLIAMS "CAUSE I LOVE YOU"!!!!!!! AND ANYTHING BY DONNY HATHAWAY!!!! I REPEAT STAY AWAY FROM LENNY AND DONNY!!!!

J/K seriously though everybody else gave excellent advice. It hurts now but give it some time