How Do You Stop Loving Someone?

[lastword]

Originally Posted by RBG3

Say you're in love with someone who doesn't return those feelings to you...how do you go about not loving this person anymore?

I'm not talking about lust, or liking, I mean genuine "I'll die for you" love. With no possibility of them loving you back, how do you stop yourself or move on?

<< not to be rude, I just rarely get to use these things

If you really love this person, you will let them go and let TIME heal your wounds my brotha. I've been there.

[lyricaltoye]

I feel your pain I have been there....And all the post have all had the same idea so I am sure you know that it will take some time...with that said...I will share a little....

I was head over heals for a dude...first time I had ever been in love I was like 26 when we met and years after that I was bound to the "love" I felt for him.......but what I did when I had gotten fed up with all the pain and crying and wondering why...I mean this went on for years.. I started praying and seeking God and realized that I had to first learn to love myself...Once I started loving me more I started loving him less...~and used to be the littlest thing like i couldnt even play madden cause he and i used to play together and i would cry~ but loving me definitely changed that....

I was able to release all of that when I realized that I wasnt built for him and there was a man out there waiting on me that I was built for....when I let the other one go ....the right one came...you could blocking your own blessing trying to hold on to yesterdays garbage throw it out let it go...she's waiting

Originally Posted by lyricaltoye

I feel your pain I have been there....And all the post have all had the same idea so I am sure you know that it will take some time...with that said...I will share a little....

I was head over heals for a dude...first time I had ever been in love I was like 26 when we met and years after that I was bound to the "love" I felt for him.......but what I did when I had gotten fed up with all the pain and crying and wondering why...I mean this went on for years.. I started praying and seeking God and realized that I had to first learn to love myself...Once I started loving me more I started loving him less...~and used to be the littlest thing like i couldnt even play madden cause he and i used to play together and i would cry~ but loving me definitely changed that....

I was able to release all of that when I realized that I wasnt built for him and there was a man out there waiting on me that I was built for....when I let the other one go ....the right one came...you could blocking your own blessing trying to hold on to yesterdays garbage throw it out let it go...she's waiting

powerful & inspiring lyricaltoye,..as always......for sharing

[Coco]

..It hurts sO goOd sometimeS though. i feEl as though L0V3 is A choice so iS choosing not to love someone any more. People can be attracted to pain, I see it all the time, like a form of emotional self harm they stay caught up. Choose not to loVe her...

[Voluptuous Miss]

Originally Posted by Coco

..It hurts sO goOd sometimeS though. i feEl as though L0V3 is A choice so iS choosing not to love someone any more. People can be attracted to pain, I see it all the time, like a form of emotional self harm they stay caught up. Choose not to loVe her...

Yeah, but if you can stop loving someone that easy, did you really even love them in the beginning?

[blackisbeautiful]

Originally Posted by Voluptuous Miss

Yeah, but if you can stop loving someone that easy, did you really even love them in the beginning?

That is exactly what I was going to ask!!!

Okay, I found this great quote about love.

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors, and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds. It dies of weariness, of witherings, it dies of tarnishings".

[IAMLOVE]

I think with time love diminishes. I dont believe it really ever dies. I can recall how i thought i was in love when i was growing up. I guess it was my own insecurity about myself, because i was falling for men way too old for me. Perhaps, i was seeking protection, but it hurt so bad sometimes, that i thought i'd go crazy. When i turned 18 I vowed i'd never let anyone affect me like that again. I learn to block apart of my emotions, so that i could save me.

Love is the strongest emotion in the world, and if let to spiral out of control can become an obsession. So i say, in any relationship, save a little of yourself for You! It doesnt mean you're not going to feel pain, but it might help with the recovery. Love

[Coco]

Originally Posted by Voluptuous Miss

Yeah, but if you can stop loving someone that easy, did you really even love them in the beginning?

I never could,,, it's the hardest thing but when you make a choice it becomes so much easier however gradual. Like, it's him or me, and at that moment if he's choosing himself or worst someone else I'm a larger fool for not moving on. I think it's not a question of how much or whether you love them, to question that in the first place is you answer, but how much you love yourself.

I am Love' I agree, Love don't die although it may subside... Give it time and go through the motions of pain.

[Khalliqa]

Realistically:

1. The quickest and cruelest way to all involved is to "rebound" you find another woman who comforts you to take your mind off of the previous one... if it happens just know that you are perpetuating pain... but in all honesty it works.. to get over the hump... I don't advocate it.. but if you find yourself in a situation, be upfront with the lady so you do not pass along your horror...

2. Find a reason to get pissed off with her... not to the point you want to harm her.. but to the point where she makes you sick.. and you want nothing to do with her.. it fills you with negativity... but it works... we don't want what we find disgusting...

3. Throw yourself into a hobby or career.. become a workaholic so that your work consumes your thoughts.. until thoughts of her are intrusive to your greater goal...

4. Wallow in self pity until you're sick of yourself.. and are forced to change

5. Continue to try to be with her until she does something so horrible that you are forced to leave her... like she reveals that she's with someone else... and/or getting married... or she reveals she never loved you... something devastatingly painful...

6. Ask God to help you... because your heart is weakened and you need strength...

7. Be patient.. or..

8. Relocate...


This all seems cold, drastic... but it is true,.... this is how people get over one of the more painful feelings known to us....

I will be honest with you... I usually do number 6 for half a second and then do number 5 ... when that happens I'm free to do number 3....

Doing number 1 usually sends me back to the same problem.. except now the pain has doubled...


But men are different from women... so perhaps your sorrow will not last long...

sorry, I'm a cynic and realist when it comes to love... don't have time for games... or feel good psycho babble...


~Peace~
Khalliqa

[Khalliqa]

no one's going to call me out on such cynical advice??? lol