How Do You Stop Loving Someone? - Page 3 - AfroChat - African American

darkwing69 · July 7th, 2008, 03:30 AM

Just take it one day at a time, and ensure you dont fall into some type of obsession of what could have been, but realize what its not and move on

The Dragon · July 7th, 2008, 07:30 AM

One thing about me, I don't care how hurt I am I just let go and go on about my business until I am no longer hurting.

Once it is over for me, it is over.

July 8th, 2008, 07:16 AM

3 years bruh!!man thats a long time to hold onto someone or something that you may not have had a hold of to begin with

...What I would do is sit down ,take time to think your way through this one, cause you can do it!!Start by asking yourself questions, I mean real truthful, step out of yourself,put yourself on the stand, kind of questions. put YOU in the hot seat,Why didnt she return these feelings,Has she ever? Did you both get to this stage?What did she do for you(apparentally just gives you sorrow, and heartache.got my man stressed out!!)Why are you willing to die for her, who would ask of such a thing..no need to go there,maybe you shouldve tried living for you and her, if it was that serious..Where you supportive of her and vice versa(listen to & respect each other) huh??Why has she been able to move on,But you are left on the side of the road with your emotions in tow?? 3yrs worth.

...these are just a few questions that may need to be answered honestly,and privately with you.cause you may need to dig deep where it hurts.but most times medicine ( counseling of your soul) may taste bad going in..but it helps more than it hurts,But I dont think this will deepen the hurt you have, I believe it may help.. cause as you start to answer back,you may find that you were not the problem after all,and letting her go may also set you free or at least loosened up the restraints she has on you.My mom used to say"hey I didnt need you ,when I didnt know you"

July 8th, 2008, 07:23 AM

oh and theres really no need to stop loving her, you may never ..but as you grow,it might become more of that I love you like a friend type..you know the friend zone us fellas get put in....well maybe thats just me lol

poeticasylum1 · July 8th, 2008, 02:13 PM

there is no formula for how to stop loving someone. The only thing you can do move around, find some interests and eventually start eyeing new people. I went through a divorce that devasted me. It hurt like hell. Somedays, I could do nothing but cry. Its better to do that, than to suck it up, let it internalize and produce an cocktail of stress, bitterness and resentment. After that mourning period, I began to work on myself, in terms of life skills, career and met a few people. I have gone on a couple of dates but I understood something about myself. I was not ready for full blown interaction with women because this one sister still ached in my heart. So I kept things light... very light. I understood something also, that you can be extremely vunerable during this period. So I kept my focus on my daughter and her interests. I forgot all about me. In the process, you wake up and realize that you are no longer pissed, sad or angry. In fact, you are glad because the hell produced some endurance. I talk to my ex and we are cool. We dont talk about the relationship because all that will do is piss us off at each other. lol The thing is you learn how strong you are and what you really have inside of you. Sometimes when you are with someone, you can lose that. Constantly compromising and working things out, make you forget. Its like waking up from a long bad dream. You get up and you realize, hey life is alright. Even without somebody you cannot love. And as quiet as it is kept... they did you favor.

July 8th, 2008, 02:40 PM

excellent!post, poeticasylum1, great way of putting it down.. inspiring hearing how through tragedy,you found your way...

RBG3 · July 8th, 2008, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skiz

3 years bruh!!man thats a long time to hold onto someone or something that you may not have had a hold of to begin with

...What I would do is sit down ,take time to think your way through this one, cause you can do it!!Start by asking yourself questions, I mean real truthful, step out of yourself,put yourself on the stand, kind of questions. put YOU in the hot seat,Why didnt she return these feelings,Has she ever? Did you both get to this stage?What did she do for you(apparentally just gives you sorrow, and heartache.got my man stressed out!!)Why are you willing to die for her, who would ask of such a thing..no need to go there,maybe you shouldve tried living for you and her, if it was that serious..Where you supportive of her and vice versa(listen to & respect each other) huh??Why has she been able to move on,But you are left on the side of the road with your emotions in tow?? 3yrs worth.

...these are just a few questions that may need to be answered honestly,and privately with you.cause you may need to dig deep where it hurts.but most times medicine ( counseling of your soul) may taste bad going in..but it helps more than it hurts,But I dont think this will deepen the hurt you have, I believe it may help.. cause as you start to answer back,you may find that you were not the problem after all,and letting her go may also set you free or at least loosened up the restraints she has on you.My mom used to say"hey I didnt need you ,when I didnt know you"

I was talking to this girl the other day, and I realized, there are other great women out there. The problem is I have insane standards (not meaning looks, but like, no attitude, courteous, etc...) so I don't always find one I can really connect to..but ya, I met her, she's gone now though haha my luck..but ya I realize there's others out there..then today..I saw something that reminded me of that old one..and so ya, it's bothering me a little today..but this was a great post and I've been doing it a little it's doing me wonders because I'm understanding that I've wasted 5 years - high school/vital years..of my life..which makes it more annoying, but feels good to know I have a possibility at a future, whereas before I just gave up..

Thank you for your post.

RBG3 · July 8th, 2008, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poeticasylum1

there is no formula for how to stop loving someone. The only thing you can do move around, find some interests and eventually start eyeing new people. I went through a divorce that devasted me. It hurt like hell. Somedays, I could do nothing but cry. Its better to do that, than to suck it up, let it internalize and produce an cocktail of stress, bitterness and resentment. After that mourning period, I began to work on myself, in terms of life skills, career and met a few people. I have gone on a couple of dates but I understood something about myself. I was not ready for full blown interaction with women because this one sister still ached in my heart. So I kept things light... very light. I understood something also, that you can be extremely vunerable during this period. So I kept my focus on my daughter and her interests. I forgot all about me. In the process, you wake up and realize that you are no longer pissed, sad or angry. In fact, you are glad because the hell produced some endurance. I talk to my ex and we are cool. We dont talk about the relationship because all that will do is piss us off at each other. lol The thing is you learn how strong you are and what you really have inside of you. Sometimes when you are with someone, you can lose that. Constantly compromising and working things out, make you forget. Its like waking up from a long bad dream. You get up and you realize, hey life is alright. Even without somebody you cannot love. And as quiet as it is kept... they did you favor.

I guess so..I met someone who was special, unfortunately I can't see them anymore, but it made me realize there are other women out there, who can be special to me..and who will be worth my time, and who will care for me as much as I will them..I guess it is possible.

Namaste · July 8th, 2008, 11:49 PM

Love is truly stronger than pride as Sade would say. But in your quest to get over this person, who have to daily remind yourself that this person can not give you the kind of love you need and you don't want to sell yourself short. Being with someone who does not love you is not fun. Remind yourself that there is someone out there that can and will love you, if you give them a chance, and the only way you're gonna be able to do that is if you begin to remove the thoughts that maybe one day that young lady will return the same kind of love you have for her. If it's gonna happen it will, however as many have said it's a daily walk that over time you have to let go so that you can give and receive it from someone else. The love you have for her may never die, but the need to have her will slowly go once you're ready to let go of her. It's hard, believe me and everyone else who posted.

poeticasylum1 · July 9th, 2008, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RBG3

I guess so..I met someone who was special, unfortunately I can't see them anymore, but it made me realize there are other women out there, who can be special to me..and who will be worth my time, and who will care for me as much as I will them..I guess it is possible.

Grace will be good to you. Thing is, you will not expect that special one. Which is good, because it will give you extra memories to with it. Time my brother, its all in time.