The Marrying Kind?

[Samoon]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

I can agree with this and this holds true for women (me) as well. Sometimes when you've beat the same drum so much you want to hear a different tune. Then sometimes there comes a time when you want a totally different instrument all together.

This is what happened to me upon meeting hubby. I had gone by the same beat of the drum (same demographic of men for so long), that it became like I was dating the same guys and in the end just they had different names. It wasn't until I started thinking outside of the box did I find what it was I was truly looking for. Actually, I stopped looking, and then it found me. Can't tell you how happy I've been since.

(laughing) I guess that I must have been the odd woman out or something! My thing was (and still is) to travel. That was my thing and everything else just followed in line.

[Mr Gumbo]

5. Women with unrealistic expectations often remain single.

a. Much of the time, these expectations are imposed by others, who think that the men she brings home aren’t “good enough for her.”
b. Give men a second chance—20% of brides to be said that they didn’t like their husband when they first met him.

I always ask my female friends about the expectations of men because I'm like that guy on your list doesn't exist on the face of the earth. I don't want my sista's to settle but be realistic and why you busy running down the qualifications to be the man in your life, look in the mirror and work on yourself. I know far too many women who want the perfect guy and they f'd up people.

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by Samoon

My thing was (and still is) to travel.

Agreed. Actually, I am the same way. And all of the gentlemen who've been in life and the man that'll currently be in my life knows this fact about yours truly.

[Sumyr]

(laughing) I guess that I must have been the odd woman out or something! My thing was (and still is) to travel. That was my thing and everything else just followed in line.

Samoon, This is true. I have a friend girl that I spoke with a few weeks ago. She doesn't live here anymore so we don't get to talk like we use to because of life/schedules. But she is now engaged - after moving away and seeing what else life had to offer. Before she left though I must admit I was a little scared for her not finding a mate and/or happiness - not that she isn't a wonderful person but because she thought that "this in our area" was all there was that life had to offer. To hear the joy in here voice and the overall enthusiasm she has for life now brought tears to my eyes and even now as I type this.

Yes, ladies you may have to do as Samoon mentioned - travel and see what else life has to offer. You have nothing to loose.

[JABOOM]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

Samoon, This is true. I have a friend girl that I spoke with a few weeks ago. She doesn't live here anymore so we don't get to talk like we use to because of life/schedules. But she is now engaged - after moving away and seeing what else life had to offer. Before she left though I must admit I was a little scared for her not finding a mate and/or happiness - not that she isn't a wonderful person but because she thought that "this in our area" was all there was that life had to offer. To hear the joy in here voice and the overall enthusiasm she has for life now brought tears to my eyes and even now as I type this.

Yes, ladies you may have to do as Samoon mentioned - travel and see what else life has to offer. You have nothing to loose.

I put it even better.........I NEVER DATED A LOCAL WOMAN..........AND YOU SHOULDN'T DATE A LOCAL MAN.

It's about opposites attracking...you have a hell of a hard time getting some one who's from the same place to look your direction because they may feel every one in this place is the same. So when you travel else where and meet new people they feel a desire to get to know the "newbie" and that's when the sparks start flying

[poeticasylum1]

Interesting article, topic and discussion.

The chances that I will remarry are weird. I say that because I have a daughter who is ten. She comes first. Now putting a sister before her is a challenge. It was in my last marriage, yet it worked out after some "heated fellowship". Im at the half empty half glass stage of life. If it comes, great if it doesn't oh well. My ex tells me that she's not ever getting married again, unless its me. I dont know if that small miracle is going to happen. Right now she's doing the "traveling" thing. God bless her. As for me, career changes and my daughter is enough. I went to a spot last night, and saw many good looking sisters, but I guess Im so fickle now, none of em them just jumped out at me. I do crave companionship but will it surface at the altar. I cant say for sure. Marraige is hard work and unless you ready to work hard outside of the bedroom, it will be a waste of time.

[The Dragon]

The most important thing here is that, the more you date the more likely and quickly you will be able to find a companion.

[poeticasylum1]

Originally Posted by The Dragon

The most important thing here is that, the more you date the more likely and quickly you will be able to find a companion.

Bah... I dont want to date. LOL

[Samoon]

"Looking" does not cost a thing--but "branching out" AND experiencing the life-styles of other people and cultures is not a bad thing either. Sumyr is correct, you have EVERYTHING to gain--if your act is together!

(memories, and I had FUN!) I STILL hold friendships with a few of the guys that I grew up and in college whose hair I braided, listened to THEIR tales of woe and heart-break, played sister to being their "date" if there was an important event and they did not want to go dateless, etc. And you know what? Some were "local" guys, but they all made "secure and decent MEN." Why? Because I/we made them aware what the level of expectation was and remains. SOMEONE showed THEM what being a man is.

But whether traveling looking for a mate--or not? I would encourage anyone to "see a bit of the world," there is so much out there to enjoy and make lasting memories.