Close Friends With an Ex - AfroChat - African American

Queen Aminah · November 21st, 2007, 02:14 PM

never mind

Lediamand · November 21st, 2007, 02:15 PM

Thats a recipe for disaster because conversations can rekindle old feelings back at any time. I wouldn't recommend this. I mean you can be friends but close that doesn't sound right to me.

Mr Gumbo · November 21st, 2007, 02:21 PM

Depends on the circumstances. A fairly new ex naw ain't having that but a old ex I wouldn't have a problem with that as long as I've met the dude.

Samoon · November 21st, 2007, 06:36 PM

I've never had this problem. My confidence and security in WHO I AM is parallel to his and that is enough for both of us.

Lediamand · November 21st, 2007, 06:39 PM

Its been done but in most cases the exes some how usualyy bring their past in the friendship[ and screw things up.

ardamus · November 21st, 2007, 06:51 PM

i have good erpoire with most of my exes. one of them i can't count because it really wasn't a relationship. all we did was

and she hates me with the passion now.

other than that, i talk to them all every once in a while and we catch up on old times and so forth.

matrixone05 · November 21st, 2007, 11:02 PM

I have always had a great relationship with my first husband and we remained friends after we divorced. It has made a tremendous difference for our children. I have no problems with his wife either. Although, I think she had to adjust to the relationship we maintained. He still hangs out with members of my family and I still have a great relationship with his. My second husband was jealous of this relationship, but I didn't care. There were no romantic feelings involved and it was/is a healthy relationship that is crucial to my children's emotional well being and growth.

JABOOM · November 21st, 2007, 11:31 PM

I know I couldn't be friends with any ex's especially with my recent ex.....

Because I still love her and we couldn't be friends because this would lead to us hooking back up. Which wouldn't be a problem right now BUT if we had both moved on we couldn't be friends for this very reason......

I don't know about anybody else if I got with a woman with a ex she is friends with I would be ok with it AS LONG AS we all go out together with him and his present woman and I get to see that this isn't anything more than a friendship.

RBG3 · November 21st, 2007, 11:34 PM

...im still so young lol, im not sure..i know i'd have a lot of faith in the woman i'd marry..but i would be jealous in this situation for sure..even with my trust for her..i'd jus say its fine, and hope for the best..

Talent · November 23rd, 2007, 09:57 AM

Spirits are transferrable.

Maintaining a relationship with an ex starts a count down to a point of weakness that ultimately destroys a great relationship.
If for what ever reason, trouble should surface in your home, you begin to sense a growing remorse for words spoken, or deeds that betrayed a trust.
You lose the ability to reach the one you love, your power suddenly diminished.
It hurts you.

Its not uncommon for ex lovers to comfort each other in times of marital distress. They become your hold card, the spare, plan B.

Relationships are a fine balancing act which require incredible focus.
Ex lovers, husbands, or wives as close companions is a serious distraction, and often an unspoken insult to your spouse.
With exlovers in the picture, there will always be a level of doubt and question of commitment whether your current husband, wife, or lover is willing to admit it or not, believe it.

Ex lovers reunited while in cases where young children are the focal point, must interact, for the sake of the youth.

But in those cases where there are no binding elements, and the relationship was once one purely for pleasure, reintroducing that individual into your existing equation as "old friend" is a lie and half truth.
Deep down, you know who that particular "Old Friend" really is, what they used to do to you, and how they still like to it, so you begin to flirt with the past seeking clues, not directly asking, just teasing enough to learn, sending nonverbal signals. You know it, and your friends and family do to...
Because in the back of your mind, the only thing you had then and still now to talk about was the sex, the fun, the pleasure, and volatile insanity of maintaing that crazy irresistble and rocky relationship. You even begin to forget how and why it ended.

Its a countdown to a point of weakness in you, via heartbrake, alcohol inducement, boredom or opportunity which makes reunions during times of struggle, all the more inevitable.