How can you get a scorned & Insecure woman to trust you?

[the_truth]

How can you get a scorned & insecure woman to trust you?


Women help me out, please! Men, if you know the answer please share!

It seems like no matter what you do or say, they don't believe you. Not even if you put your hand on a stack of bibles! Always sneaking around to see what you are doing, always checking everything that you say as if it's not true, always looking for the worst in you.

Someone help me please!

[Harmony]

Originally Posted by the_truth

How can you get a scorned & insecure woman to trust you?


Women help me out, please! Men, if you know the answer please share!

It seems like no matter what you do or say, they don't believe you. Not even if you put your hand on a stack of bibles! Always sneaking around to see what you are doing, always checking everything that you say as if it's not true, always looking for the worst in you.

Someone help me please!

Unfortunately, this is one of the harder issues to get someone to recognize and deal with. Until she has reached that point and time, you are going to be the one to carry the weght of her insecurities on your shoulders.

YOU are going to have to keep in mind what she might be thinking or feeling about a particular issue and carry yourself accordingly. You're in for a long hard road, but if she means that much to you it'll be worth it in the end.

Try bringing this to her attention and let her know that it does concern you that she is holding you under the microscope because of past hurts by someone else.

Let her know that it frustrates you and that you're doing ALL that you can to prove yourself worthy of her love and trust. In all honesty, the constant scrutiny has the potential to drive you away or make you feel that you might as well start doing what she wonders about you doing.

Hang in there with her, but if you find yourself being frustrated and stressed more than you are happy and glad to be in love, you might need to explore the possibility of it lasting a little more deeply.

Best Wishes! :)

[Vegence]

There isn't anything you can do to get her to trust you. She has to get to a place where she has worked through her issues and wants to trust you.

[originata]

Originally Posted by the_truth

It seems like no matter what you do or say, they don't believe you. Not even if you put your hand on a stack of bibles!

Dude, you said all right there yourself

There is nothing, like Vegence said she has to come to a point where she wants to. That's like a woman asking people what can she do for her man to stop beating on her. There's nothing you can do to change another person.

[Lonewolf]

You can tell her to go to...<ahem> I'm sorry. I'll just say I agree with what's been said already.

[Chelbe]

I agree with what has been said. There is nothing in specific you can do, but wait it out if you choose to. Its all up to her whether she wants to surrender to you or not.

[Samoon]

"It seems like no matter what you do or say, they don't believe you. Not even if you put your hand on a stack of bibles! Always sneaking around to see what you are doing, always checking everything that you say as if it's not true, always looking for the worst in you."

Just wondering....

I'm going to go the other way here (although it is understood that the person(s) that you speak of MAY be insecure and dysfunctional) You state that "they" won't believe you. Are you speaking of women in general or specifics? And no disrespect to you, but if their suspicions seem to be the "focal point" in your relationship(s), might there be something that YOU may be doing that brought you under the microscope of scrutiny? While I agree that snooping, checking, etc. "is a bit much" I can't help but wonder (and ask) if YOU are upfront as well as open? For suspicion will always have a question mark behind it. As I said...just wondered.

[Curious1]

Was she scorned by you or another just before you..If you..it'll take time..If another and she didn't give it a rest period before hooking up with you..it could take a while..if she was really annihilated in a past relationship,she will keep her guard up and not get ambushed and burned again..she's trying to catch the signs before the signs catch her...


Curious1

[delia]

i feel that when a woman is this way she has some baggage left over from her past and being able to trust again is a big issue for someone in this situation, she has to definitly work some of these things on her own with you as a friend to her. and in time i think she may be able to trust again but i would definitly say be just a friend to her for now until she feels comfortable enough to open up to you. :angel1:

I agree with the second person, usually they will bury themselves in a deep ditch of mistrust waiting for someone to wrong them man or woman. My suggestion is not to try, it will only bring you down if they are not trying to improve.