I hate my skin color so much:(

[Dark Kent]

Originally Posted by latisha313

this is something that affects me terribly and for you to try to deny that i have a problem only makes it worse.

If your for real....I dont think there is anyone on here is denying that you have a problem.
Do you really think that guys looks the other way because of your skin color? Dark skinned sistas saying that brothas prefer light skinned sistas is just a cop-out for them being unattractive or over wieght or something else. Some of the finest sistas I have seen have been dark skinned and this is coming from a light dude. No brotha in his right mind cares about skin color, and from what I've seen most dudes dont care about wieght either. If you're for real, you need to step back and look in the mirror cause theres no way you're so dark that black men are passing you by.

[The Dragon]

Originally Posted by latisha313

how dare you downplay my own problems and experiences?? what i am going through is VERY real. this is something that affects me terribly and for you to try to deny that i have a problem only makes it worse. i wasn't around during the 70s therefore i can't account for what happened during that time..but i can account for what is happening to me. i am not a damn troll. i came here because this is a black forum and i needed some uplifting. not a verbal smackdown that i am a liar from my own people. i would think that of all places you would understand

i remember what happened to me in my life. as a young girl i was teased for being very dark in grade school. and i still do hear guys say they prefer lightskin women. i don't care who you know in atlanta, those type of men still do exist. and you cannot deny it all you want. i don't care. but i didn't come here to argue so i'll leave it alone

Corals and DBlack expressed my sentiments exactly. You sound like a troll boo-boo. However if your post is geniune and you are really having this issue then you may need to be talking to a therapist, not us here at Afro-chat.

[jacqui]

I read this earlier and thought it was a troll.

But I agree with Corals, DBlack, and The Dragon, if you are for real I am sure they have therapist on campus. There is nothing anyone can do for you here .

[robbboy2003]

Sumyr, probably gave the best response to you with this. Pray,and become humble. Maybe the superficial that you see in others is also in you. You said you like outgoing extroverted people,but you're not. Perhaps you might want to look into the quiet thoughtful type more.

Progressive Black Men these days love confident women,who project more than just outward beauty.

You also stated you are just twenty two. Lot's of folks find the love of their lives far later than that. Be the the best,that you can be. A man that is ready will not pass up a polished Black Diamond! Trust brotha Robb on that one. Pray and give it to God your desires,and you'll undoubtly will be blessed with a guy who loves your Blackness and uniqueness!

Now, go and be what we have here in abundance strong and proud Black sistas! Peace and let your light shine!

[latisha313]

Originally Posted by Dark Kent

If your for real....I dont think there is anyone on here is denying that you have a problem.
Do you really think that guys looks the other way because of your skin color? Dark skinned sistas saying that brothas prefer light skinned sistas is just a cop-out for them being unattractive or over wieght or something else. Some of the finest sistas I have seen have been dark skinned and this is coming from a light dude. No brotha in his right mind cares about skin color, and from what I've seen most dudes dont care about wieght either. If you're for real, you need to step back and look in the mirror cause theres no way you're so dark that black men are passing you by.

why are you coming at me like this?? i didn't come here to argue i came here to seek help. now you're trying to tell me that i am ugly or fat...wow that is really helping my self esteem. i regret seeking any kind of advice.

Corals and DBlack expressed my sentiments exactly. You sound like a troll boo-boo. However if your post is geniune and you are really having this issue then you may need to be talking to a therapist, not us here at Afro-chat.

I can't help it if my problem is oddly unusual to posters on this forum. I wish I would have had a problem that was much more common and realistic so people will believe me *sarcasm*

[Dark Kent]

Originally Posted by latisha313

now you're trying to tell me that i am ugly or fat..

I'm not saying your ugly or fat...I don't even know what you look like. I'm just saying that I personally based on what I've seen in my lifetime will never believe that brothas would continually look past a black women based on her skin color. I'm not buying it.....its a cop-out.

[robbboy2003]

Perhaps, you would be better served to seek some professional help to help you find the answers you seek. Peace!

[sonflour_2001]

Latisha, please don't get mad at any of us for our suspicion about trollish behavior. You see, we've got every excuse to be a bit suspicious as just a few months ago, evil whities (can I say that...aww what the hell Lol!) came in and tried to shut this site down. To put it in perspective, this sounds like a game a white troll would play to try and perpetuate the propaganda that white women or black women with a higher admixture from other races are prettier than black women. So, please don't get too angry. We have our reasons for our suspicions.

However I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt because, honestly I've seen this happen countless time in lil ole white-washed Columbia, SC, where I hail from. In fact some of my close friends have expressed insecurities about their dark skin. Meanwhile I wanted my skin to be even darker. For instance a lot of black people in the South have this hang-up about swimming in outdoor pools because they don't wanna get blacker. Hell, I was walking around telling people, "ohh look girl...I got a tan...a shade darker and I'll be right!"

In any case, many of my friends expressed insecurites about their hair. Surely we've all heard that utter bullmess about "oh she got good hair"...
However, they've also expressed insecurity about their skin color too. And the media certainly doesn't help. I'm currently trying to put together a scrapbook for a little girl who doesn't like her hair and I'll be damned if while looking through Cosmo (a magazine supposedly geared towards ALL young American women), the only black women I see are Rhianna and Beyonce. Not a natural in site! (I'm writing to the editor about that one as well...)

So yeah, while black is beautiful...we have a looong way to go towards internalizing this truth as we're constantly bombarded by white-washed standards of beauty which still convey, even today that the light-skinned chicks with the "good hair" are ideals of beauty. We call it being "color struck" in the South.

My advice to you?
LOVE YOURSELF. Nothing else will cure this remedy. As soon as you show people that you know you are beautiful...they'll start to catch on as well. Most humans are followers. They will take your lead and view you the way you truly view yourself.
If brothers are ignoring you, move on. The men (and women) who are glorifying light-skinned and white women have an illness within themselves which makes them locate their own worth within racial features different from their own. Sad, but true. You don't need those and they'll only bring you further down. There are plenty of other black men who'll appreciate you.
Take care of yourself, keep yourself healthy, and stop looking so hard. To be blunt, until you settle this issue within yourself, you don't need to be looking at all.

Try this at home. Take your hair down. Look in the mirror. Make every single face possible, from the ugliest one you've got to the coyest or most seductive.
Realize your strengths and take honest inventory of your weaknesses. Realize that you can be worthy of love.
...but only when you love every single thing about yourself.
I've gotten to the point where I've started to mildly like the friggin hairs on my legs. Yeah, yeah, I know. TMI...but we've got to learn that everything about us can be as beautiful as we believe it to be.
When are we gonna claim our Eden legacy, Latisha?
When are we gonna be able to walk as naked as the day we were born, and find absolutely no shame in any part of our bodies.
Hair, nose, feet, breasts, chest, navel, penis, buttocks, waist, lips, ears, hands, arms, eyes, hips, legs, thighs...all encased in beautiful black skin.

Love Us by loving you.

Deondra

[robbboy2003]

awesome, as always young sista! You make a fellow SC'er very proud.

Peace and Always Serenity to ya sis!

[Mr Gumbo]

Peep my picture. Now that is with a flash on the camera, I'm so black I'm burple (Black & Purple). Now picture growing up in Louisiana where everybody and they momma is light skinned. Get off the dark shizt, BLACK is beautiful and that covers from light skinned to african black. I got teased, called Midnight and insert any dark joke that's out there I heard it. There was a time period where if you looked like them Debarges you didn't get hollered at. Like someone said on the first page your skin color is not the problem it's you. Your self esteem is not high at all and that carries over into everything you do, you might not think it does but it oozes out of your pores. Now I'm not trying to be funny but at 22 boys/young men don't care about skin color, they care about trying to hit it. That's it, it's very few that care about being with a woman and having a relationship. Get in them books and work on yourself before you can have you a boyfriend.