I hate my skin color so much:(

[Fenix]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

The problem you are having has nothing to do with the complexion of your skin. It has to do more so with what is within - nothing. If nothing is inside of you, nothing will radiate to the outside.

This is the best piece of advice here. What is at the center of this is superficiality and lack of self esteem. If you can't find yourself beautiful, no one else ever will; and more to the point, if you don't, why should they? Love yourself sis.

[Sumyr]

i always noticed that lighter skin women have more confidence, mainly because they are treated much more favorably in society. I figured that if I were born lightskin or mixed race, with light eyes and long straight hair I'd have high self esteem because I represent the standard of beauty--especially in the black community.

and I hear how guys talk. i had a few guys friends. one of them used to always try to uplift my self confidence by saying skin color doesn't matter to black guys yet when i go on his myspace, he has ALL lightskin and white women on his page..with the exception of ONE dark chocolate girl. It's like black guys say one thing and do another.

Confidence has nothing to do with skin color. As I've said before lighter skin doesn't promise happiness in relationships - ask Halle Berry, Vanessa Williams, Sanaa Lathan, and the likes. All are beautiful and have this "lighter skin" you crave, but all have had their share of divorces, relationship woes, and/or heartache. Yes, some men prefer lighter complexions, but not all so don't generalize every man - just like some men prefer darker skin. If all men preferred lighter skin, then how do you suppose Pauletta Washington has been the wife of Denzel all these years. She's not light skinned, nor does she represent the "standard" beauty you speak of.

One day while out at lunch sitting in my vehicle, I noticed this couple walking down the street. They were holding hands and the guy looked as if he had Miss Universe on his arm he was glowing so much. But the lady couldn't be further from Miss Universe standards - she was overweight, hair not as tidy as it could have been, had on a blah outfit and guess what she was of the "dark skin" nature. I wanted to take a picture of it and save it on my camera phone, but they were too far away for it to pick up clearly. It appears he didn't care what anybody else thought; you could tell he loved his woman - despite her not up to industry standards.

I said all of that to say this young woman had a man that thought she was Miss Universe. Stop worrying about the men that think lighter skin is better - wait for the man that thinks "you" are Miss Universe.

[latisha313]

I am trying to love myself but I honestly don't know what that means or how to do it at all. There are days when I feel considerably good about myself, but then I start to come down hard on myself when I realize I haven't found my perfect match. At work, just about every woman there has someone to talk to or go home to. I don't. I usually go home, sleep, work and go to school. Outside of that I become depressed. I don't know why I feel so lonely or what it is that I am doing wrong to make me appear so unapproachable to men. I don't know. And if I do meet a guy he is never my type. I never get what I want.

[Corals]

How convenient. latisha313, I don't know if you think we are fools here or something, but you ain't fooling me. Plus you don't sound like a man, but rather like a man pretending to be a woman.

[Lediamand]

Latisha as guy I can tell you if you don't get rid of that skin color complex it will be really hard to find a man , and even tougher to keep one. If you don't love yourself, no man will love you.

[latisha313]

I came here seeking advice, not for someone to make false accusations that I am a man. Please do not do this. I really want some help

[afrocentric]

Originally Posted by Corals

How convenient. latisha313, I don't know if you think we are fools here or something, but you ain't fooling me. Plus you don't sound like a man, but rather like a man pretending to be a woman.

hey corals, how do you know?

[DBlack]

Yes, you do need help. You sound like a troll, because I haven't heard of a sista being ashamed of being dark since the 70s and that's still pushing it.

But I'll entertain the subject for a hot minute....

I don't know where you live, but in Atlanta, I don't know a single brotha that cares about skin color; as long as you are black, you ARE beautiful.

Stop making yourself feel bad because someone doesn't desire you for superficial reasons. Beleive me, you are only using your color as a crutch, hiding your real issues. Deal with those, and suddenly you will find yourself loving every inch of your black as blue exterior. And guess what...the real brothers will suddenly see you different as well.

Good luck.

[DBlack]

Originally Posted by latisha313

I came here seeking advice, not for someone to make false accusations that I am a man. Please do not do this. I really want some help

With all due respect, the help you need can't be provided here. See, we all may have strong disagreements, passionate views that clash, but one thing virtually EVERYONE here agrees on:

Is that we are ALL Beautiful!

[latisha313]

Originally Posted by DBlack

Yes, you do need help. You sound like a troll, because I haven't heard of a sista being ashamed of being dark since the 70s and that's still pushing it.

how dare you downplay my own problems and experiences?? what i am going through is VERY real. this is something that affects me terribly and for you to try to deny that i have a problem only makes it worse. i wasn't around during the 70s therefore i can't account for what happened during that time..but i can account for what is happening to me. i am not a damn troll. i came here because this is a black forum and i needed some uplifting. not a verbal smackdown that i am a liar from my own people. i would think that of all places you would understand

i remember what happened to me in my life. as a young girl i was teased for being very dark in grade school. and i still do hear guys say they prefer lightskin women. i don't care who you know in atlanta, those type of men still do exist. and you cannot deny it all you want. i don't care. but i didn't come here to argue so i'll leave it alone