Women killed dating??

[afrocentric]

Originally Posted by UglymanCometh

That's why I stick to what I KNOW works for me.

"The more attractive the woman's physical features, the less attractive are your chances of interacting with that woman." - Sebastian A. McCallister

uc, bend over and let me tack that ahzz. ur just being mean. don't make me go get the switch.

[ardamus]

Originally Posted by DBlack

If I hurt someone's feelings, please forgive me...but I get sick to my stomach hearing grown *** men crying and whining because women pick a thug instead of them.

When it comes to relationships, you, nor I are entitled to anyone, even if we are good for them. Why are you so caught up into women that don't want you anyway? We all make or have made bad relationship choices. Guess what? That's part of the process. You can't know what is good until you've had what's bad.

Most black women can sense weakness, timidness and insecurity in a man. Do some real soul searchin, and you may not like what you find out.

I'll admit that was my mistake with one female I dated. But once I re-evaluated my self-perception, I noticed she found a weakness in me and attacked it. Now, I've never been the real outspoekn thug type or the completely nerdy type. Always been an outcasted sort of dude. But once, I showed her a different side of me, she backed off and got shook. Didn't raise a hand to her but I did expose some things that I felt were wrong in the relationship that were true. not to say that shows strength but it did show that just because I'm a real chill dude doesn't mean you won't hear it from me either. So, either way, you have to show a woman you ave strength.

[sonflour_2001]

Okay...why ya'll keep drawin me in....I got work to do!!!!!!
GEEZE!!! :Lol!

Such a good topic Chinky. A complex topic as well.
Gender issues are never easy.

In any case, the death of rigidly gendered romance is indeed on it's death bed...or at least taking a hell of a long nap!
However, I think that's a good thing in some ways, because it leaves us with INFINITE freedom to redefine the ways we are going to interact with each other as men and women.

Is is okay for a girl to offer to pay for dinner sometimes? Traditionally, hell naw! Or at least that's what my mother would say. But I kinda like the idea of paying or preparing a meal for a dude I like every now and again, as I feel that sometimes men don't really get treated fairly. (Please don't get it twisted though. I have my femmy harpy rants with the best/worst of them. But, sometimes I don't think we give men enough credit....or at least that's how I've been feeling lately...)
Should men always open the door for women? Once again my mother and father are nodding going "yep...mmmhmmmm...."
I'd say yes, but is it okay if I get the door for ya'll too sometimes? It's nice that you wanna do stuff for me because I'm a woman. But sometimes I wanna do stuff for ya'll because I appreciate not only your maleness...but also your humanity. So please...let me do that sometimes without accusing me of a femmy harpy b!@$# who can't appreciate romance. (Pet peeve #432: unnecessary drama...)

I don't know, with this whole gender thing we forget to treat BOTH of the sexes and we also forget to let ourselves be treated.
All I know is that I find it irritating when I wanna be sweet to a man and return the favor only to hear him yappin off at the mouth about how "I don't need you to do this....and that...I'm a man...you're a woman...you need...this and that."
Playing romantically within gender roles is fun sometimes. But when it keeps you from being able to appreciate a pleasant change in behavior from your mate, (like if she wants to take you to the movies for a change) there's just something a bit off with that for me...


Disclaimer: yeah...yeah...I know...I'm a weirdo...LOL!


Back to work. For real this time!

Sonflour

[sonflour_2001]

Originally Posted by UglymanCometh

That's why I stick to what I KNOW works for me.

"The more attractive the woman's physical features, the less attractive are your chances of interacting with that woman." - Sebastian A. McCallister

Ya know what Sebastian, this isn't just about fine women running over men's hearts, because that's an all too common occurrence with attractive men as well.

EUREKA! I think I've figured it out!

After all this time I've heard my girlfriends say, "don't pick the fine ones because they'll treat you like dirt."

Now, as I learn more about men I'm hearing them say the same thing.
"The dymes don't know how to act." Or other sentiments similar to the one's you've expressed S. (Ya notice how I'm not gonna call you UC anymore...LOL!)

What this all boils down to is the fact that in many cases beautiful or attractive men AND women ain't no good. Okay now your saying...well duh Sonflour.

But what boggles my mind is why the hell we keep running after them when we know this. It's not just girls running after the "fine thugs". It's men...good men running after the "fine dyme" pieces despite what experience may have taught them, as well.
And then, when it all goes to hell and it will when you are constantly chasing the vain ones...that's when you get these gendered vent sites. "I hate black women." "Black men ain't no good" Yadda, yadda, yadda, ad naseum...

Meanwhile, I hate to throw this out to everybody...but most of us aren't ugly.
However, none of us are really supermodels. The average person is just that. Average. We take care of our hygene, we keep ourselves neat and clean. We can clean up pretty nice and we have special and stellar qualities about ourselves. This should be enough. We should be able to love ourselves and move on and love someone else without them having to be the Beyonces or the Morris Chestnuts...

But we don't do we? Somehow, we are willing to get hurt time and time again for a pretty face. I'd say it is indicative of low self-esteem. We aren't looking for soulmates. We're looking for beautiful people who will make us feel beautiful. We're looking for human medals, which will announce to the world that there is something redeeming about ourselves because "I got the girl all the boys want," or because "I married the fine man that'll make all the other women jealous." What it all boils down to is that we need to be envied to make ourselves feel better because we don't think we are enough.
And "when it all...when it all falls down," then we wanna blame all of society. ALL men are dogs. ALL women are bitches.
It is kind of sad because this is really ripping us apart.
It's a great tragedy that none of us realize the part we play in our numerous heartbreaks...
...all because our self-hatred causes us to worship vanity instead of virtue...


Sonflour

[Lediamand]

Originally Posted by sonflour_2001

Meanwhile, I hate to throw this out to everybody...but most of us aren't ugly.
However, none of us are really supermodels. The average person is just that. Average. We take care of our hygene, we keep ourselves neat and clean. We can clean up pretty nice and we have special and stellar qualities about ourselves. This should be enough. We should be able to love ourselves and move on and love someone else without them having to be the Beyonces or the Morris Chestnuts...

You know a lot of that has to do with the media forming our minds. Tellings us the current trends in fashion and love. The magazine and movies got all women looking like Beyonce or try to at least, so what happens if you are a guy who look like Jayz without the milliions. The superstar Aura that this woman will project is sure to keep you away.
Black women especially the one who know or think they are beautiful have this aura about them that sure to scare men who aren't confident in themselves away.
I think the brothers need to take charge and go after all these fine sexy single sistas out there.

[The Dragon]

Do men know what the hell they want anymore? I'm speaking in terms of women and I am also speaking to a lot of contradictions I am hearing here and have heard in other circles.

[Lediamand]

Originally Posted by The Dragon

Do men know what the hell they want anymore? I'm speaking in terms of women and I am also speaking to a lot of contradictions I am hearing here and have heard in other circles.

Sure they do, they want a woman from the last century.
A woman who is submissive, not competitive
A woman who knows her way around the kitchen, rather than having a GPS set to all the restaurants in town.
A woman who is modest and graceful in public and yet a superfreak in bed.
A woman who is intelligent, elegant but not arrogant.
More importantly a woman who understand her role in the relationship and helps her man build a strong household.
These are some of the few qualities guys look for in a woman. A woman from the last century that is

[ardamus]

Originally Posted by The Dragon

Do men know what the hell they want anymore? I'm speaking in terms of women and I am also speaking to a lot of contradictions I am hearing here and have heard in other circles.

Individually, you should know. Not knowing gets you caught up in the mix with someone you don't want. I know more so then I used to. At first, I thought I did. Now, I know what I want in a woman.

[UglymanCometh]

Originally Posted by Lediamand

Sure they do, they want a woman from the last century.
A woman who is submissive, not competitive
A woman who knows her way around the kitchen, rather than having a GPS set to all the restaurants in town.
A woman who is modest and graceful in public and yet a superfreak in bed.
A woman who is intelligent, elegant but not arrogant.
More importantly a woman who understand her role in the relationship and helps her man build a strong household.
These are some of the few qualities guys look for in a woman. A woman from the last century that is

My fiancee is submissive... but I'm trying to work that OUT of her... it's kinda boring.

She can't cook as good as I can. Yet. (hopefully... lol)

You got me on #3 and 4.

My woman's "role" in the relationship is to help me build a solid, successful black family... together. I can't - wait, I could if I wanted to - I WON'T do it by myself.

Besides, women from the last century are so boring. So blah. So NINETIES.





Oh wait, that wasn't that long ago. ;)

[Lediamand]

[quote=UglymanCometh;149526]

My fiancee is submissive... but I'm trying to work that OUT of her... it's kinda boring..

Now a statement like that will sure confuse Dragon why would you want to change her if thats the way she is, just be careful that you don't create a monster of out her in the process, thats just my humble opinion.

Besides, women from the last century are so boring. So blah. So NINETIES.
Oh wait, that wasn't that long ago. ;)

That's a bold statement my friend, now I would ask you what about them was so boring?. Also women are never boring, unless you don't know what to do with them that is.