The Ultimate Relationship

[matrixone05]

I've been conversing with someone about the different things we want that would define our ultimate relationship. I posed this question and summation to them.

Have you ever been a relationship where the two of you were so emotionally entertwined that when you laid down together, that for you, it wasn't about what you would get out of it and for her it wasn't about what she would get out of it? It was about taking the time to learn one another, mentally, emotionally and physically; so that it was about how much pleasure you could give her, and how much pleasure she could give you. So much so that who could pleasure who the best became an unspoken, but mentally communicated competition.

Now that is a high that words can't describe. Unselfishness at its best, producing pleasure beyond description.
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What is your description of an ultimate relationship?

[ardamus]

I understand her and she understands me is probably the best kind of relationship I can have. As well as having that mutual repsect. Its to the point where both of us are in a good and balanced communicative relationship, ya know?

[matrixone05]

Originally Posted by ardamus

I understand her and she understands me is probably the best kind of relationship I can have. As well as having that mutual repsect. Its to the point where both of us are in a good and balanced communicative relationship, ya know?

If you believe that all you two have now is the best it can be, then that's all it will be. I know some people that have been together a very long time and are in some very good relationships. The kind that get stronger with time and they all say, it gets better and better because they have always believed it would.

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by matrixone05

... Unselfishness at its best, producing pleasure beyond description.

That's what it's all about.

[sonflour_2001]

Originally Posted by matrixone05

If you believe that all you two have now is the best it can be, then that's all it will be. I know some people that have been together a very long time and are in some very good relationships. The kind that get stronger with time and they all say, it gets better and better because they have always believed it would.

Such a beautiful sentiment, Matrix...

Um...the ultimate relationship is the one where honesty and tenderness and empathy can see both individuals through the toughest of times....


Sonflour

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by sonflour_2001

Um...the ultimate relationship is the one where honesty and tenderness and empathy can see both individuals through the toughest of times....


Sonflour

Okay---I'm going to have to start charging you every time you read my mind, Sister!

... let's see ...that'll be one veggie meatloaf and a hug-then-run-and-hide. (To be paid in full when you return to the States ).

[Sumyr]

The ultimate relationship for me would be where not even the restraints of death could part you, where you believe even after death your souls will remain connected and you will meet on the otherside to live out eternity.

I know of only one couple that believed this way, and they are/were white, not that this matters. His wife had passed on, but she use to tell him before she died they would meet on the other side and he always believed this......some 20 years after her death. He said he has met many a ladies and most are befitting, but none could ever take her place so he's never indulged in another woman since her death - no romantic flings or even close friendships. I would often ask him why he didn't like this one or why he didn't like that one as she seemed really nice and his wife had been gone for a while. He state, "I like them just fine, but I love my wife and we will meet on the other side." I never questioned him again about this. And this has stuck with me through out the years.

The way he always spoke of her......I tell you if most men would worship their women who are alive the way he did and his wife was dead.........its love at its finest, or the ultimate relationship!

[matrixone05]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

I tell you if most men would worship their women who are alive the way he did and his wife was dead.........its love at its finest, or the ultimate relationship!

My daughter's godparents are both in their early 50's. They have been together since they were 15 and have been married 26 years. I look at them in awe. They have grown to a point where they wake up every morning and start their day in prayer. They pray together as a couple and as a family. They have matured and grown together in every aspect of their lives.

My son's godparents met when both were out of college and begining their professional careers. Sadly, he had a major heart attack and died suddenly 2 years ago. They were married 18 years when he died. They started a successful multimillion dollar company together and ran it as a team. Their marriage was also a true partnership. She is getting better and stronger daily, but the loss she has endured is apparent.

I have other friends that have similar stories of marriages like this. They are all black, so ultimate relationships are alive and well in our world too. We'll be using you as an example as well soon, I'm sure.

[Sumyr]

My daughter's godparents are both in their early 50's. They have been together since they were 15 and have been married 26 years. I look at them in awe. They have grown to a point where they wake up every morning and start their day in prayer. They pray together as a couple and as a family. They have matured and grown together in every aspect of their lives.

My son's godparents met when both were out of college and begining their professional careers. Sadly, he had a major heart attack and died suddenly 2 years ago. They were married 18 years when he died. They started a successful multimillion dollar company together and ran it as a team. Their marriage was also a true partnership. She is getting better and stronger daily, but the loss she has endured is apparent.

I have other friends that have similar stories of marriages like this. They are all black, so ultimate relationships are alive and well in our world too. We'll be using you as an example as well soon, I'm sure.

Matrixone, Thanks for the reference of a long relationship, which I hope and pray will come into fruitation. Your son's godparents are a true testament of the verse in 1 Corinthians. I look at couples back then and now and the biggest difference I see is respect - 1st and foremost. It wasn't that couples didn't cheat back then, because they did, but they did it respectfully. Now, men (and women) are galavanting the other person around town like they are in a parade. And often times it is someone right down the street or in the same community. I'm not condoning cheating but they seem to have more tact back in the day about themselves, something our generation obviously lacks. But men/women just overall had more respect for each other, and women/men were more forgiving as well.

It wasn't that couples back then didn't have problems as they did, but they also had "endurance". Your son's godparents are similar to my god-grandparents, who just celebrated 54 years last month. I hope and pray we all can "endure" as they have.

[matrixone05]

Sumyr, you are so right. A lot of the problem I think is that people now attach rules to relationships. This, I believe is not the correct approach. A lot of adults have problems with rules. It makes a relationship feel confining. We have as a society, gotten away from something so basic, which is the add-on to my ultimate relationship wish....

I don't want a relationship with rules. I want one with mutual respect. Where he has my back and I have his and both of us put the hearts and best interest of the other first. Because with that, who needs rules.