Physical Attributes -vs- Inner Substance What Really Matters To You

I want to know what really matters, is it his/her height, build, job, car that`s important or his/her moral character, loyalty, intellect, dedication that should matter to you. Many men/women pass on good women/men because they don`t fit a certain mold.

[DBlack]

Before I got married, I she wasn't a dime, I didn't have the time. In Atlanta that's an easy rule to have. But I realized that focusing only on that came at a big price. It seemed that the more physical beauty they possessed, the 'uglier' they were in the inside.

Now I am luck to be married to a beatiful woman inside and out. I learned that chasing dimes only leaves you short-changed.

[Harmony]

The inner beauty, style, and grace of a person can radiate outward and supercede all of that which the surface projects. It merely takes looking with the RIGHT eye to be able to see, embrace, and believe it.

[Lonewolf]

I have found that I have better conversations and more things in common with women I am not attracted to in the slightest. So what I have learned is that I'm going to have to simply choose substance over looks. I don't want to think that substance and attractiveness are never in the same package, but I never meet that package, or that package is never interested in me.

I've always said that my women doesn't have to be a model; that's unrealistic. I'd like to be attracted to her to some degree, that's starting to seem unrealistic too.

So the next fat chick or ugly girl that's interested in me might get some time. My new rule is, "as long as I can stand to look at her".

[Curious1]

To me most Black men are attractive,handsome or cute in their own ways and styles.Most of the guys who stepped to me,always kept themselves up and groomed even if in urban wear;starched jeans to starched dress pants etc.Tight Dreadlocs,braids to short-cropped hairstyles;beards to babyfaces. All smelled nice.Some came with either some common sense,book sense or street sense or some interesting combo of sense that carried them through to me.Degreed to non-degreed.So, I have, in the past, looked beyond their " looks" and verbal words.I was attracted to their actions & character and all those other qualities you listed above, once I stopped drooling over them (smile)..Nobody's perfect.So it narrowed down to what I was willing to accept or reject in terms of these character flaws. I don't have a "Type" or "Preference"..I took 'em as they came and went from there.Dating back then different "Types,Perspectives of Men" helped expand my horizons about the human psyche,life and experiences..made me a better person still growing..

Curious1

[naskiecenye]

ive dated the handsome and the ugly, the big, and the small and i finally realized that the image that i wanted (lightskin, nice eyes, good hair, blah blah blah) they werent that nice on the inside and something just wasnt right. So heartbreak after heartbreak ive learned to look within and ive found a man who doesnt cheat, will cook, not clean but thats okay, works a 8-4 five days a week, pays bills, and makes me happy in the <a target="_blank" href="http://searchmiracle.com/text/search.php?qq=Bed">bed</a>room besides some other flaws that we are working on we will be okay and no boris kojoe looking man can give that to me

[Blak]

I just need to find something attractive about her and the rest can be average. I find most black women to be good looking in at least one way....and many are really good looking in many ways. I am not so worried about the looks angle for that reason. I will attract to one that catches my eye....but if ever a black woman steps to me, it will be more about her personality and attitude that will get her "in" over the next one.

They dont approach though, so for now, looks end up being the first thing to draw me in by default since we see before we get close enough to hear.

Blak

[Vegence]

Moral character definately.

Originally Posted by notiq

I want to know what really matters, is it his/her height, build, job, car that`s important or his/her moral character, loyalty, intellect, dedication that should matter to you. Many men/women pass on good women/men because they don`t fit a certain mold.

[JamieC]

I love a man with nice looking teeth. He doesn't have to be Mr. Fine or anything like that, but a pretty smile goes a long way in my book.

[Chelbe]

I choose inner substance. Of course we all want someone, somewhat attractive, but once again attraction varies. For years I used to be crazy about this guy who had a few extra teeth in his mouth (I would think to myself, that's fixable) and my friends would clown me, but his personality had me.