The Rise of Players and the Decline of Providers

The Rise of Players and the Decline of Providers

(I have been searching for some article to back earlier facts stated by U.M.C., I think this is one)

Why is it that "bad boys" are generally much more sexually successful than "nice guys" are? Intelligent, hard-working men who contribute to society in formerly respectable careers like engineering, accounting or science are now looked down upon by women. Athletes, rockers, rappers and actors don't work to improve society, yet many women desire sex with them. There is no longer a connection between a man's contribution to society, his options with women and his social status. Further, a man's ability and willingness to provide for a wife and children has little impact on his ability to attract women. This was not always the case.


How Women Choose Men

Women's attraction has shifted from dependable, nice provider men to exciting, unpredictable "bad boys." In order to understand this phenonmenon, one must understand how women choose men and how the process of mate selection evolved.

Millions of years ago, when our primate ancestors lived in small bands, the males who were the strongest, most aggressive fighters dominated the group. Because of the differential in male and female parental investment (Discussed in There is No Longer Someone for Everyone), competition among males was a winner-take-all affair. The winners, the alpha males, were able to monopolize sexual access to the females and have many offspring. The beta males were rarely able to have sex and rarely able to pass on their genes. Females thus developed an instinctual attraction to the physically strong "alpha" males because alpha male offspring were consistently more successful in the reproductive game. These instincts evolved over millions of years and still exist in today's women even though the attributes that made a winning fighter in primitive Africa are counterproductive to success in modern society. (For more information on sex and evolutionary psychology, see Matt Ridley's The Red Queen, Jared Diamond's Why is Sex Fun? and Robert Wright's The Moral Animal.)

Fighting is no longer a part of daily life, yet today's women still have an instinctual attraction to strong, muscular men. Aggressive, unpredictable men are exciting and attractive to today's women, even though in the information age, the ability to cooperate and work with others in an quiet office environment is more useful to one's career success. Women are also attracted to indicators of high testosterone, like square jaws and broad shoulders. Evolution instilled these instinctual desires over millions of years, while civilization has existed for only a tiny fraction of evolutionary time. At an unconscious level, today's women are still deeply attracted to alpha male characteristics.

For men, sexual attraction has also been irrationally shaped by evolution. In primitive times, one of the most common threats to a man's offspring was infant mortality during childbirth. Because of this, men developed an instinctual attraction to women with wide, child-bearing hips. In modern society, infant mortality is rare, but men still have a vestigial attraction to women with the ideal waist-hip ratio. Men also have an attraction to women with large breasts since infant malnourishment was a problem in distant evolutionary times. In the developed countries of today, few infants starve, and many women don't breastfeed at all. The male obession with physical attributes is an evolutionary relic. However, because attractive prehistoric females did not have the same destructive behavior as our male ancestors, men do not have the same irrational attraction to physicality and aggression that women do.


The Development of the Provider

So, if women are attracted to physically dominant alpha male types, then how could geeky-looking, physically weak men ever evolve? The development of the "provider" type came about because of the development of intelligence within our human ancestry. As the predecessors of homo sapiens evolved greater intelligence, human babies were born less mature, and the time required to raise a human child required increasingly more time and resources. In most animal species, babies are born nearly self-sufficient. Within a few months, most other animal species can live independently of their parents. In contrast, a human baby is completely dependent for food and defense for at least five years after birth, and requires education and resources for many years after that.

As human babies took longer to raise, females found that they alone could not provide the resources necessary to support their children into adulthood. They needed help, and they found ways to get help. Beta males who were not physically strong enough to dominate the other males found that by providing food and other resources to females in the group, they could bargain for sex from those females.

Interestingly, the same high testosterone that provided alpha males with greater physical strength and natural aggressiveness worked against them as providers. Studies have shown that men with high testosterone have lower intelligence and less ability to concentrate on mental tasks. High-testosterone men are less likely to hold white-collar jobs, more likely to hold jobs that require manual labor, and are more likely to commit crime. (See Heroes, Rogues and Lovers: Testosterone and Behavior.) Thus a spectrum of men emerged. Strong, aggressive, dominating men existed on one side of the spectrum and intelligent, nice, cooperative men existed on the other.

Eventually as civilization developed and intelligence and financial success became more important than physical strength, females who chose males with "provider" characteristics produced more successful offspring than those who chose alpha males. Over time, there was a reduction in the proportion of high-testosterone males. Social and religious customs like the monogamous marriage system further increased the proportion of providers. Women looking for lifelong commitment and wanting to avoid a lifetime of unhappy marriage put a higher priority on companions with agreeable personalities and financial resources and a lower priority on looks and alpha maleness. In the last forty years, however, that trend has been reversed. (Note: Men making a lifelong commitment under the monogamous system were also more likely to value a woman's companionship and personality than men who are pursuing short-term sex, where physical appearance is of primary importance.)


The Pill, the Provider and the Alpha Male

In recent years, the nice provider personality has become decidedly unpopular, while the aggressive alpha male personality types are celebrated and envied. Professional athletes, rock bands, and hip hop musicians have eclipsed doctors, lawyers and engineers in social status. "Players" who take advantage of the weaknesses in women's sexual instincts are celebrated while faithful providers are not.

Over the last forty years, birth control has removed the practical reasons for a woman to choose a provider male (See The Pill and the Decline of Dating and Marriage). Women unafraid of pregnancy can have sex with the sexiest men and fulfill their instinctual desires without apparent consequence. They can "follow their hearts," even when the emotions they perceive as love or passion are irrational vestiges from the evolutionary past. Providers are also devalued because financially self-sufficient women no longer need a man to provide resources for them.

Because women no longer put a high value on providers, the social position of those men has fallen while the player/alpha male personality type has begun to dominate society and culture. As women encourage more "bad boy" behavior by their sexual choices, men and society are becoming less considerate, less cooperative and less civilized.

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[jamesfrmphilly]

we are all brainwashed to some extent by living under global white supremacy. even me.
brainwashing is when we act in ways which are harmful to ourselves. we act against our own best interests.
this is easy to see in others and there is a cottage industry of Negroes pointing out other Negroes defects.
it is much harder to see and deal with our OWN stuff.
i find it more productive to look within and work out my own kinks than to point out the problems with others.
i still do that but it is a weakness in me that i am fighting.

sure, black women do a lot of counter productive stuff but so do we. so what.

i have seen you criticize everyone on these forums but i have never seen you take any responsibility.
i think "good" women are attracted to a man who takes responsibility for his own stuff.
try it, you might succeed.

[DBlack]

JFP has spoken.

[LadyNoir]

Ummph! My Lawd! :whistling

[RaInEdomThoughtz]

Originally Posted by LadyNoir

Ummph! My Lawd! :whistling

I heart you LadyNoir

That was funny!

Taken from another thread:

Originally Posted by robbboy2003

I aint mad at you Bro, but you're working that shortness to death!

*shrugs*

Originally Posted by RaInEdomThoughtz

I heart you LadyNoir

That was funny!

Taken from another thread:

*shrugs*

There are a lot of other subjects in these forums that have been on the docks far longer than this and deserve a stake in the heart even more than this...

[RaInEdomThoughtz]

Originally Posted by seminoleBACP

There are a lot of other subjects in these forums that have been on the docks far longer than this and deserve a stake in the heart even more than this...

Not trying to hurt your feelings, but your themes are ALL the same, whether it be about a "particular" kind of woman or a height issue.

But again, dont take that with malicious intent....you've just worn it out. Stop finding reasons why a woman doesnt want a "particular" kind of man and start finding a woman that does.

ETA: If its hard for you to find a lady then, as you've been told before, work on your self-esteem, then anaylze where and WHAT you are looking for in your women. But importantly, CONFIDENCE is attractive. You can beat this DEAD horse all you want, but if you like pity-parties and excuses then you're welcome to it. But I promise that I wont entertain this anymore.

[poeticasylum1]

Hmmm... (is this for real?)

I think women look at certain features among men that they deem or equate
a level of security. Women want to feel "protected". The movies, media, yada yada are endorsing a level of this. Now the quote unquote scrawny males are subjected to a level of "ridicule" but as JFM said, its just best to look within and deal with the issues an individual has. Now there is a one thing I know and have seen. I have seen some "smaller" guys eat a "bad" guys' lunch in fights. Its really about the heart of the guy. Now when I was younger. About 5 or 6 years old, I was a shy skinny kid. I was bullied alot. The truth is from time to time I think on those days and I still fume about the bullying. Years later I grew up and learned how to beat the crap out of a muscle heads by picking up bricks, 2x4s, and anything that would "equalize" the situation. I never had to pick up gun fortunately. Nowadays kids are brandishing gats like they are toys. Let a few weakminded females see this and some of them swoon. Now most females are not weakminded. Most females want a good guy. The good guy has to be openminded when dealing with females because they really want a level of diversity. Sometimes It can be a contridiction. A sister once told me she wanted a "corporate thug". Someone who could make money legit but have that thug instinct in them when a situation arises. Just look at some of the songs that have come out. They champion lawless negros. Destiny's Child's Soldier or the new song by Fantasia "Hoodboy". Its a challenge but its only a deep as you make it for yourself. What some called mean muggin and wearing scowls on their face is nothing more than a defense mechanism. Its chess not checkers. When I see ladies checking for the "thugs and players" I remind them that if the cat is real you are going to get the game that comes with the territory, and they wonder why they get dogged most of the time. A woman wants to know that you are loving and confident but if ish jumps off they want to know that you will respond accordingly. Its not a perfect world, you just get in where you fit in.

[jamesfrmphilly]

at the end of the day, the only one you have control over is yourself.

[Samoon]

Originally Posted by jamesfrmphilly

we are all brainwashed to some extent by living under global white supremacy. even me.
brainwashing is when we act in ways which are harmful to ourselves. we act against our own best interests.
this is easy to see in others and there is a cottage industry of Negroes pointing out other Negroes defects.
it is much harder to see and deal with our OWN stuff.
i find it more productive to look within and work out my own kinks than to point out the problems with others.
i still do that but it is a weakness in me that i am fighting.

sure, black women do a lot of counter productive stuff but so do we. so what.

i have seen you criticize everyone on these forums but i have never seen you take any responsibility.
i think "good" women are attracted to a man who takes responsibility for his own stuff.
try it, you might succeed.

@ James:
(smiling) "And it was written..." :whistling