Meeting Marriage-Minded Brothers

[LadyDivine]

I have been meeting a few marriage minded brothers. These brothers say they are looking for a wife and READY to get married. RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

Brother #1:
Told me if Ms. Right showed up at his door TODAY he would be ready to go get fitted for the tux today. He moved 900 miles to be with a women he met online who dumped him when he moved near to her.

Brother #2
Broke off an engagement last year when he found out she was cheating and he told me he planned 85% of the wedding. He said all she was worried about was her dress. She also told him she was not planning on ever working again once they got married. She is 44 y.o.

Brother #3
Been separated for 3 years and recently got divorced after 26 years of marriage. Claims women want to play games and he loved being married and wants a life partner and wife! RIGHT NOW!

NOW LADIES AND GENTS.........why are these brothers having a hard time. Handsome, financially stable.......... READY TO GET MARRIED!



My take since I personally know these guys is that they don't really want to get married and are choosing women who are really not 1. available for marriage (loving on other folks) or 2. eligible for marriage (got unresolved emotional and mental issues).

GENDER NEUTRAL QUESTION: DO we sabotage relationships by picking the wrong man/woman subconsciously?

[MzKwietStorm]

Definitely. Some people are so excited by the thought of getting married, they're willing to marry the first person that comes along and makes them feel good or gives up real good sex. Not saying everyone does this, but most people do. Nowadays, people don't get to know one another. They date for 6 months and they're ready for marriage. Not saying that's not possible for some, but I don't think you can learn everything you need to know about your LIFE partner in 6 months. Again, I'm not saying it's impossible.

[Sumyr]

Very good post LadyD! Yes, in a sense, we subconsciously do. As I was reading the profiles of each of the gentlemen you have listed I couldn’t help but wonder – okay that’s Side A, I would like to hear Side B or the women’s input.

I feel women and men have the “Alpha & Omega” syndrome. Interpretation: Women have the “Alpha” (or first) syndrome….they want to latch on to and marry the first good man that comes by. Men have the “Omega” (or last) syndrome…..they will go through hoards of good women before latching on and wanting to make one their wife.

We as men and women must find what is holding us in “jail” so to speak before we can be free of relationship woes. One of mine was sex. I absolutely love sex and every aspect of it. So, when the relationship went sour, all my mate had to do was “lay it on me” and I was good to go until more drama surfaced. I really tried to resist and thought if I went more than 2 weeks without sex I would find myself like a crack head without his fix. So, I cut out all sex and relationships for a while. It has been 6 months and I can’t tell you how hard its been to go without something you absolutely love. I feel as if I have been on a twelve step program. But I also can’t tell you how good it feels to finally be free from my “jail”. So, this doesn’t rule my life anymore. There were other things as well, but this was a major one for me. I no longer confuse good sex – with good love, which is what most relationships lack.

Find your jail and free yourself! :)

[jamesfrmphilly]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

Very good post LadyD! Yes, in a sense, we subconsciously do. As I was reading the profiles of each of the gentlemen you have listed I couldn’t help but wonder – okay that’s Side A, I would like to hear Side B or the women’s input.

I feel women and men have the “Alpha & Omega” syndrome. Interpretation: Women have the “Alpha” (or first) syndrome….they want to latch on to and marry the first good man that comes by. Men have the “Omega” (or last) syndrome…..they will go through hoards of good women before latching on and wanting to make one their wife.

We as men and women must find what is holding us in “jail” so to speak before we can be free of relationship woes. One of mine was sex. I absolutely love sex and every aspect of it. So, when the relationship went sour, all my mate had to do was “lay it on me” and I was good to go until more drama surfaced. I really tried to resist and thought if I went more than 2 weeks without sex I would find myself like a crack head without his fix. So, I cut out all sex and relationships for a while. It has been 6 months and I can’t tell you how hard its been to go without something you absolutely love. I feel as if I have been on a twelve step program. But I also can’t tell you how good it feels to finally be free from my “jail”. So, this doesn’t rule my life anymore. There were other things as well, but this was a major one for me. I no longer confuse good sex – with good love, which is what most relationships lack.

Find your jail and free yourself! :)

um, can i have some? :whistling

[robbboy2003]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

Very good post LadyD! Yes, in a sense, we subconsciously do. As I was reading the profiles of each of the gentlemen you have listed I couldn’t help but wonder – okay that’s Side A, I would like to hear Side B or the women’s input.

I feel women and men have the “Alpha & Omega” syndrome. Interpretation: Women have the “Alpha” (or first) syndrome….they want to latch on to and marry the first good man that comes by. Men have the “Omega” (or last) syndrome…..they will go through hoards of good women before latching on and wanting to make one their wife.

We as men and women must find what is holding us in “jail” so to speak before we can be free of relationship woes. One of mine was sex. I absolutely love sex and every aspect of it. So, when the relationship went sour, all my mate had to do was “lay it on me” and I was good to go until more drama surfaced. I really tried to resist and thought if I went more than 2 weeks without sex I would find myself like a crack head without his fix. So, I cut out all sex and relationships for a while. It has been 6 months and I can’t tell you how hard its been to go without something you absolutely love. I feel as if I have been on a twelve step program. But I also can’t tell you how good it feels to finally be free from my “jail”. So, this doesn’t rule my life anymore. There were other things as well, but this was a major one for me. I no longer confuse good sex – with good love, which is what most relationships lack.

Find your jail and free yourself! :)

Again, you think like someone I know really well and like alot Sumyr. :) Get out of my head. I say (smiling).

There is someone that complements,or completes us,unfortuntately outside of going to marriage counseling. We grow up together as men and women and become better people later in the marriage or whatever.

Mzkwietstorm and LadyD I give you a big thank you as well. I will say plenty men and women get infatuated with "the first one" who shows them interest.

I don't know the significance.or insignificance of marrying your first lover.

Personally, I've always been up front. I once told this person,if I'm getting sex every other day now,that better not change down the road,and so went both folks wants expressed. Truthfully, women are more on the know at a certain age,and is yall that should set the pace. That's telling it as I see it.

Peace, luv and Harmony! Hope you find what you need and get what you want.

[LadyDivine]

Originally Posted by MzKwietStorm

Definitely. Some people are so excited by the thought of getting married, they're willing to marry the first person that comes along and makes them feel good or gives up real good sex. Not saying everyone does this, but most people do. Nowadays, people don't get to know one another. They date for 6 months and they're ready for marriage. Not saying that's not possible for some, but I don't think you can learn everything you need to know about your LIFE partner in 6 months. Again, I'm not saying it's impossible.

MzKwietStorm,

You are so right you have to get to know people and that is one of the reasons I have a lot of platonic MEN friends. I desire to get to know them as a "friend" first which is difficult if you do have some romantic interest in them. I watch how they treat the women in their lives, including me as just a friend.

LOL...You described Brother #2 she put that mojo on him and she made him feel good.

----

Sumyr,
...and the Truth shall set you free. Cold Turkey will always set you free. I hear ya I want to be set free! I am pretty sure I am a sabotage queen myself. I really want to cut out all romantic type relationships but I am finding it really hard to be "just friends" with some men.

I am a well known runaway bride and since my husband died I have anaylzed my problem and I see the pattern re-emerging. I knew I had no intentions in moving from Chicago when I got involved in my most recent long distance relationship which broke off before the holidays.

All three brothers I mentioned are all "just friends" and I know Brother #3 has feelings for me beyond "just friends" and I know it.

I don't want to lose my friends, but I do not want to get involved romantically RIGHT NOW!

[Sumyr]

um, can i have some?

James, only if I can have some love, trust, honesty, romance, finance, understanding, support - both emotionally and physically, integrity.......... you get the point.

[LadyDivine]

lol @ Brother james

Brother rob, I like the lyrics to the song "the same thing it took to get yo baby hooked, is the same thing it takes to keep 'em!"

[Samoon]

Examine the coin carefully...his side, her side and the truth.

Originally Posted by LadyDivine

GENDER NEUTRAL QUESTION: DO we sabotage relationships by picking the wrong man/woman subconsciously?

Often times we do. I think that's probably why relationships fail half the time. The rest is a result of the usual cheating, dishonesty, etc. We enter relationships knowing damn well there's no chance of it working (for whatever reason(s)). I've done this myself in the past n' learned from it. Now I've got myself a winner.

It's difficult to read both sides of a coin when the flip side is rubbed off. But it looks like you already know how to handle that. What else can you do other than listen n' watch? You hear what they tell you n' you watch 'em n' I'm sure it wont be too difficult to come to the complete and or real reason(s) as to why it never worked out w/them in the past.