Hello! I have a relationship question - AfroChat - African American

needtoknow · January 16th, 2007, 02:58 AM

What does it mean for a man who lives with one woman to always think of another woman with thoughts of love, devotion and love-making? The woman he lives with assisted him when he was without anything due to child support issues, she helped him financially and provided her home to him. However, the other woman that he always thinks about is always on his mind, he has called her even when he was living with the helper. He doesn't even like for the helper to touch him in any way. He just wants the other one all the time. Can a capable man explain what this is all about, please?

RaInEdomThoughtz · January 16th, 2007, 04:15 AM

Im not a man, but it sounds like the 'live in' woman is just a roommate who wants to be more and this guy used her (perhaps giving her the illusion of a possible relationship) to get on his feet.

It seems like if he's thinking about another woman while living with a woman, then he's not that interested in the 'live in'

needtoknow · January 16th, 2007, 04:20 AM

That is what I thought initially, but he moved away from her to another state after he was hired permanently. Also, the woman he thinks about all the time lives where his job is located. Once he was hired, she went to the city and transferred to be close to him, and is now living with him in his place.

RaInEdomThoughtz · January 16th, 2007, 05:03 AM

It sounds like he's in a relationship with the woman that "he thinks about all the time". It seems like he played the 'live in'. Karma's a b**** though, if he planned to use her until he got on his feet then he'll get his.

needtoknow · January 16th, 2007, 09:17 AM

Wow! What an incredible concept! She paid a astronomical amount to get him out of jail, continued to make sure he had her to come to his rescue when he would be laid off his jobs. It was like a vicious cycle, where every time he tried to get away from her, she was always there to do something for him to have to continue to need her. However, during those same times, he was always thinking about the other woman. He's not married to the 'live in', and they have no children together, thank God. But, she just continues to be in his face. When his mother died in his hometown, she was there in his face, but he called the other woman to tell her first. Everyone was able to see that the helper was not wanted by him, but since she has done so much for him for so long, they felt it was just a matter of time before he would be trying to get out of it. He is always wanting to be with the other woman, no matter what. He tried to cut things off with the other woman, but was quickly unsuccessful, saying he was making to biggest mistake of his life. Some men are very hard to understand! Anyway, I appreciate in advance your response!

poeticasylum1 · January 16th, 2007, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by needtoknow

What does it mean for a man who lives with one woman to always think of another woman with thoughts of love, devotion and love-making? The woman he lives with assisted him when he was without anything due to child support issues, she helped him financially and provided her home to him. However, the other woman that he always thinks about is always on his mind, he has called her even when he was living with the helper. He doesn't even like for the helper to touch him in any way. He just wants the other one all the time. Can a capable man explain what this is all about, please?

Well...
I could act surprised but Im not. The benevolence of some women never ceases to amaze me. One thing is for sure, money cant buy love. It can get you a suite in the same building but you will always come up insufficient funds. There are some guys who leech off women and when a brother thinks he has a fool on his hook, he will pull on the hook to see how much leeway he can have. Some women are just flat out blind. Many guys have been used this way. But having other dudes calling at the house where you pay the phone bill? Well thats violating.

**personal moment of reflection**

(if this ever would happen to me, well I can't be held responsible for what I will do)

At the end of the day, some ish just make you say...damn.

needtoknow · January 16th, 2007, 10:00 AM

What do you think he feels for the other woman who he tried to stay in contact with throughout of this drama? Does a man have strong enough feelings for a woman that he only wants to be with her intimately or to talk to about serious issues, while he is with the helper?

Proudbrothaman · January 16th, 2007, 03:38 PM

Let's be serious for a moment, if this person doesn't come out and be honest now...he'll regret it.

Samoon · January 16th, 2007, 05:27 PM

Firstly, out of curiosity, are YOU the person that this piece of chit sponged off of?

Moving on...

"Can a capable man explain what this is all about, please?"

Maybe. But allow a mature sista to give her spin on it? "Utter bullchit." Regardless of the circumstance? The sista that was there, "just when she was needed most" and she got PLAYED, just a shot of arse to this pathetic human being. She provided the comfort that he needed, just made it real convenient for him. Don't even attempt to dress this one up. Child-support issues? Let me guess? The live-in wanna-be lover footed the bill? If so, I seriously question the self-esteem of this woman and wondering if she has deeper, underlying issues.

"It was like a vicious cycle, where every time he tried to get away from her, she was always there to do something for him to have to continue to need her."

He was not trying too hard...why come she "was always there" if the brotha truly did not want to disclose his whereabouts? Again, "bullchit."

"...he moved away from her to another state after he was hired permanently. Also, the woman he thinks about all the time lives where his job is located. Once he was hired, she went to the city and transferred to be close to him."

Righttt. This sounds very suspect to me. WHY would a woman pull up stakes and move to another state...if some form of committment or promise(s) had not been discussed with her BEFORE she relocated?

Tell your "friend" to THROW THIS FISH BACK. He sounds and smells rotten to the core. Sheesh. She should begin to learn? That she deserves BETTER. Be well.

jamesfrmphilly · January 16th, 2007, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by needtoknow

What do you think he feels for the other woman who he tried to stay in contact with throughout of this drama? Does a man have strong enough feelings for a woman that he only wants to be with her intimately or to talk to about serious issues, while he is with the helper?

this all sounds ill......