No More Apologies

[Proudbrothaman]

This is where it ends for me; I am absolutely tired of being looked at or treated like I owe women of this world an apology. I’m not the one that found another woman in the mist of your relationship. I’m not the one that hit you; I didn’t walk out on your kids when I knew they were mine too. Stop blaming me for the heartache and pain you’ve suffered. All this is doing is creating a bigger barrier between you and me (black women and black men). It’s bad when the common excuse for all this is “because he’s a man” when it should be “I made a bad decision”. I’m starting to think maybe women need that excuse in order to not except responsibility for the bad decision they made. Let me slow my roll because it seems like I’m talking to all women but I’m not, the ones that fit into this know exactly who they are; even if they don’t admit it out loud! Men do not have to make excuses for who they are just because he reminds you of some suppressed memory. If it’s that bad then just leave him alone rather then have an unnecessary attitude with the man. It’ said from sun up to sun down that there are no good men left, well there is they just haul a$$ the other way when they see you and that sack of grocery bags coming.


Bag lady you gone miss your bus
You can't hurry up
Cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin
Ni$$as take off runnin
From you it's true oh yes they do
(Bag Lady Ms. Badu)

[lapsdad]

Very well said...and so true.

Thank you so much for voicing my feelings also.

[DBlack]

Sorry things are not working out with your latest PBM. I feel your frustration as I have often felt a similar way.

Here in atlanta, I here it all the time, how black men are 'this and that' negativity. Truth in this (IMHO) is that as adults, we all have baggage. The defining key is to not allow our bad experiences negatively impact future relationships. Disappointments and adversity should make us better, not worse.

People should try their best to leave their baggage in the past, because if not, they only guarantee continued frustration and failure in their relationships.

[sephari]

10,9,8,7,...

Yeah, it's commin'. Well spoken PBM.

[Samoon]

"I made a bad decision”. I’m starting to think maybe women need that excuse in order to not except responsibility for the bad decision they made."


If we ARE being honest here? This "take a walk through YOUR life" works for BOTH genders. Maybe if more were honest with themselves inasmuch as the "bad or negative choices" that one has made and BE accountable to them, then the process of "healing" for many bros. and sistas can begin. Rhetoric such as this gets US nowhere--IMO. All, be well.

[RaInEdomThoughtz]

Originally Posted by Samoon

If we ARE being honest here? This "take a walk through YOUR life" works for BOTH genders. Maybe if more were honest with themselves inasmuch as the "bad or negative choices" that one has made and BE accountable to them, then the process of "healing" for many bros. and sistas can begin. Rhetoric such as this gets US nowhere--IMO. All, be well.

Well said. All of this 'pointing fingers' at each other does nothing. Because when you lament on and feel bitter about how someone hurt you because 'ironically' they were hurt, then it just continues a cycle.

[Corals]

Originally Posted by DBlack

Sorry things are not working out with your latest PBM. I feel your frustration as I have often felt a similar way.

Here in atlanta, I here it all the time, how black men are 'this and that' negativity. Truth in this (IMHO) is that as adults, we all have baggage. The defining key is to not allow our bad experiences negatively impact future relationships. Disappointments and adversity should make us better, not worse.

People should try their best to leave their baggage in the past, because if not, they only guarantee continued frustration and failure in their relationships.

I agree, and that is the main reason why many women are bitter, simply because they judge most men according to their past experiences, instead of emptying the bag and starting anew. As we all know, that does not add any meaning to their relationships, but quite the opposite.