Black Men and Brazilian Women

[Sumyr]

Sumry, You are as right on as can be. Getting abroad coochie is the inthing for brotha's with no game,or can't hang with a real woman. You see it in close quarters in big business,and the military,law enforcement,and you see in professions such as law an medicine.

It is what it is time and opportunity! I've seen long married,and supposely cleric men; act a monkey fool out in about in these third world countries.

Make no mistake. Greed makes fools of us all. One should be single,before they go to Brazil, however! Again, if you are not firmly in a real deal life partnership with someone,and have no self control do not go there alone,but you can say that right here in good old U S A. Virginia Beach or Norfolk has some of the most beautiful black women alive,and there are several other places here at home, that have them. It is where a person is at in their commitment that tells the tale.

Robbboy, you said it best: "Getting abroad coochie is the inthing for brotha's with no game,or can't hang with a real woman."

[DBlack]

I never sat around blaming my sisters for my relationship failures. If for any reason a sister didn't find me attractive or marriage material, as a man, I moved on. If I lost out on a sister because she desired another man that was of some ethnic minority, I accepted it and the fact that obviously that brother is willing or able to provide something that I can't.

For example, alot of brothers are cake-daddy's. And alot of sisters like that and will be with a man with deep pockets that they are willing to share. I think that is weak of a man to be that way, but hey, I don't blame the sister for it. That's what they like, so have at it.

But I have to say, there are alot of sisters out there today (not most, but many) that choose to blame the brothers for their preferences. An intimate relationship is about choice, and if a man wants a women more traditional or submissive, why the haterade? If that's not what you are a bout, find a brother that shares the same beleifs that you have. Men do it all the time and most of them don't whine about it.

Sure we get a few men on AfroChat that blame women because of their repeated relationship failures, but they don't last long. Perhaps the problem is the one complaining.

Brazillians have a similar culture and plight to us; we share much in common, so there is some common ground from a cultural standpoint. Pursing whitey is a whole different story all together.

Dragon,
All that you just said about African men is simply 'hyperbole'. Until African men can learn to take control of their native country and establish some real safety and peace in their own neighborhoods, you can spare me the bull about how they are such noble fathers in comparison to American black men. I don't buy that at all. A father is supposed to protect. In many African neighborhoods, kids are not even safe to go outside, to school or even drink water from the local well. Don't throw stones in glass houses.

Originally Posted by robbboy2003

Sumry, You are as right on as can be. Getting abroad coochie is the inthing for brotha's with no game,or can't hang with a real woman.

I'm curious:

1. Define in your view what 'game' is?
2. Define in your view what a real woman is?

From where I sit, having 'game' is irrelevant when dealing with real, life lasting relationships. How many men and women on this board can say they married someone because the had game? I bet alot more of you can say you dated someone because they had game. Think about that. Game is just that...Game! It's about qualities and attributes that have no real value in lasting relationships.

And what is a real woman? If it means I got to battle with her everynight, or debate who the man of the house is, then uh, to me, that's not what a real woman is. Perhaps a brother that's weak in the knees, or needs some structure in his life loves these types. Good for them, I say!

I ugly reality is that if I don't like you, I don't have to be with you. For whatever reason. People that flock to whitey and forsake their own race is an issue I think is degrading and disgraceful. But I don't see the reason to demonize and attack those that date other minorities that share in the culture and plight that we do.

Focus more on your own attributes and you may be surprised to find your solutions within yourself. Just a suggestion....

[robbboy2003]

Having game is being the leader. Having game is letting whoever you're dealing with know what and who you're about. Having game is keeping your personal appearance, health, emotions, morals and all the gamut of a man with a mans mindset in perfect form and up.

Having game is having an personal style to approach,woo and keep a wellchosen, well compatable mate of your chosing,which is a personal issue of the person. Having game is the things in a relationship,that makes the woman deem you unreplaceable, loved,respected, honored,,,ect.

You do the things that are required to love, protect,provide,empower, secure and keep the electricty and responsiveness of your life journey partner.

My real woman is a strong "Black woman,who is educated,beautiful fit and hipped to herself, me and what is a family. She has the finess, to say what need to be said,and the grace to do what needs doing and the awesome power of a tigress to have my back,and to like i will for her take back to the earth all that would harm me or mine!

My real woman is like a female version of me with a sweeter voice softer body, prettier face,but just as deadly. Unmade or made she is real to the fullest. In office or out of office don't let the intellect fool you,she is real and Black! Sorry to be so long winded Dblack,but i don't write short,when it comes to real soul arse Black Women and with Brotha's with real game.

Oh, don't let me get out of here without saying two things. First, i can't imagine a together brother not with a real hot to trot sista,that is burning and yearning for his arse,when the man is putting down the way it should. Secondly, like i said earlier you choosewell,if you are one with game,where in the hell does little miss white bread come into the picture?

[sekhmet]

I just went and read the article: http://www.essence.com/essence/lifestyle/globetrippin/0,16109,1227036,00.html

My whole thing is this...diseases and stuff can run rampant from this kind of reckless sex. Whether it be in the states or abroad...it's not cool and can lead to a lot of people catching something and/or dying. The idea of it all is just mad scary to me.

Also, the deference thing kinda got me too. Like a man wants to be catered to and adored and all of that. Who doesn't? The thing is...whether it's at home or abroad, it's for a price. No, I'm not going to go cater to some dude for no reason, BUT I personally believe that two people in a loving relationship shouldn't be afraid to pamper and enjoy each other. But I guess people are so caught up in the here and now that they forget that you gotta earn the right to be adored and all that. Either that or just go and pay someone to play the role, which is what I guess is a part of the allure of Brazil's women.

The whole thing is just mad irresponsible to me and super duper wrong and the sins just keep on comming.

[sonflour_2001]

Query: I've never been too informed about Brazilian culture. It seems quite rich and interesting. In any case, what is their ethnicity or racial background?

Thus far, what I've found is that many dudes I know who ran to Brazil, went looking not only for the whole submissive motif, but also for lighter-skinned women as well. It's a growing trend I've been noticing a lot in our culture. (For example, nearly everything moving in a music video seems to be light-skinned with long, curly hair, or a weave.) The bottom line seems to be a preference for black females whose physical features, (and dare I say behavioral features) are more so related to Caucasian females.
I guess I would say if dudes are running to Brazil looking for that type of black female, there's definitely something to be said about the need for us to continually work towards identifying and dealing with issues of being color struck and stuck in defining beauty through a whitewashed mindset.

General disclaimer:
BTW this is in no way meant to disrespect any black females who do have such physical features. We all come in many different shapes, colors and sizes. However, we need to think about why we want the people we want. Hopefully, at the end of the day it's not b/c these Brazilian women or men (women do it too) have passed some unacknowledged, deeply repressed, psychologically subconscious brown paper bag test.

Dee

[The Dragon]

DBLACK
Dragon,
All that you just said about African men is simply 'hyperbole'. Until African men can learn to take control of their native country and establish some real safety and peace in their own neighborhoods, you can spare me the bull about how they are such noble fathers in comparison to American black men. I don't buy that at all. A father is supposed to protect. In many African neighborhoods, kids are not even safe to go outside, to school or even drink water from the local well. Don't throw stones in glass houses.

I never said they didn't have any problems in Africa. Problems in Africa ain't even the issue and their are many reasons why the things you mentioned are happening in the first place. Africa is a vast continent which America can fit inside over three times: How in the world can you put all of Africa in the same situation? You totally stereotyped the whole continent. There are places in Africa that are at total peace. It ain't my fault people believe everything they hear on telLIEvision. Tell me, have you ever even been to Africa?

The many Africans I met were on American soil and from diverse countries and ethnicities. All the cultures of Africa are not the same. Every last single one of the men I met were the perfect specimen for husband and family/father material. I conclude this from spending time and socializing with them, from observing their life style. THEY told me about THEIR county, culture and history. And I still maintain that they are perfect family men.

On the other hand, we cannot talk about how someone else's children are not protected; I guess everybody hasn't heard about the drugs, crime, child murders, abuse neglect that go on constantly in our back yards. I have heard of so many young Black children who have been shot and killed on their way to school and while playing out side, right here in America. I wonder what Black men have to say about all of this?? It's mostly Black men, youngins, doing these killings to began with.

Not only is our water unsafe to drink, but the food we eat and the air we breath is highly toxic.

I don't understand why you went all out left field on me. I made a statement and I stand by it.

You watch out for those glass houses too.

[odoc]

A Blackwoman on the Al Sharpton show,
Said she would not date a man with bad credit, this seams to be the mind set
of a lot sisters today. If Blackmen in my age group had felt that way when we
were seeking a Mate , A lot of the Sister would not have gotter out of public houseing
(Mabe your Mother).

[Samoon]

Originally Posted by Sumyr

Seems like a lot of trouble to travel so far just for a wh0re or a piece of @ss. Of course its nothing new. Dogs have been getting killed for years trying to cross the street to "get a little bit", never mind that he sees another dog splattered all over the street with his gutts hanging out.

A simple summation of this is they want it fast and easy, something us quote "Black American Women" are not willing to do. Nothing wrong with that if you are not expecting anything in return because it will be over just as fast and just as easy.

Just one question though - why when we "Black American Women" act in such a manner we are wh0res and bytches, but black men will travel the seas to Brazil to be with a female that does the same thing and make them your wives? All I'm saying if it's a wh0re you want support your local wh0res in the states - why travel abroad for the same sorry piece of @ss?!?!?!

Amen. Clocking frequent miles just for a shot of ***? LMBO! Well, Sis, let me share what I observed while in Brazil, Cancun and Jamaica, for example. Many of the women in Brazil, in comparison to American women, ARE docile and sexuall freedom is more rampant. One thing that I DID note? Whether you had a man with you or not (and we all had men with us) the women there were "reserved" with US...to the point of "coolness," but our men? They treated them like they were the Flavor of the Month. We discussed it with our men--and amongst ourselves. Well, being practical, it certainly did not take me long to figure out that many WERE gold-diggers (with that being said, never let it be the dictum that sistas in the U.S. are "certified" gold-diggers...lol) and that ANY man was an opportunity because they were looking to get laid, then paid. But people perceive things differently and I will leave it at that. :whistling

ADDENDUM: Regarding the observation about sistas dating a man with bad credit. Two key questions to ask....(1) HOW did he get there and (2) what is he doing in terms of credit counseling, etc. to clean it up? Or..even trying?
My stance is refer, counsel and teach. For example, one of my nieces recently shared with me that she wants to get "that first credit card." Btwn. her father, mom and myself? "Sit down, bring a pen and a pad. We ALL need to talk to you about BEING financially literate." See how that works? I wanted to familiarize her with the "lingo," terms, APR, etc. We can all teach and learn, right? Unfortunately, some will not do this, even under advisement. But "one will continue to walk in darkness until s/he is given a light." Be well.

[DBlack]

Other than college age or teenaged females, I never hear a woman describe a man she viewed as marriage material as 'having game'. That's usually a term used in the club, high school and college scene.

Obviously our definition of such a word underscores our vastly different viewpoint on sistahs and relationships......

[Ifayomi]

Don't wanna get caught up in this, but would like to say many Brazilians have African blood and call themselves African just my 2 cents.
peace
Osunkoya-Ifayomi