That's it. IT'S OFFICIAL. I've given up on Sistas........

[Corals]

No one is holding you back, have a good life; but I'm sure you'll be back.

[Kevin]

Good luck
I'm sure you'll find happiness with whoever you choose
Being with a Black woman is not the answer
Being without one is not the answer
Being with who is capatible for YOU is the answer

[Glow]

Why such a BIG announcement? Sounds like you feel the need to either start something negative on this site or you need validation. In other words you must have DOUBTS, dude. But hey, do you.

[Samoon]

Originally Posted by Jackson

A negative frame of mind is a magnet for unsavoury experiences. If you are going to give up on all black women, that means that it is time for you to ask yourself what it is about you, which draws such horrible women to your side. Chances are that the unresolved problematic issue which lies within you as an individual will ensure that when you start dating non black women, the grass on the other side will not be any greener. There is no way that all black women can be wrong and you alone can be right. Just think about that for a moment.

"Water seeks it's own level."

I agree with this poster. I'm presenting this as rational insight. Not a debate and definitely not an argument. Stop. Quit. And stop pointing fingers. If you want to try finding love in another color camp? More power to you. But be true to yourself---don't continue as others have to drop the SAME anchor out of the SAME boat lamenting what sistas are---or not. Why? Because you just might find yourself singing the soliloquies again and again as you've illustrated on this board. Your personal feelings--are that. But a public service announcement is not necessary. Do you--as you see it. The way of things should be that, if one is treated well, then they will reciprocate. Sometimes...sometimes not. But to "group" or generalize all sistas? Stop it. But if you want something different to happen in YOUR life? DO something different to make it happen. The warring fractions of black males and females have gone on long enough. The number ONE problem is personal accountability between the sexes. Because from both sides of the "war," there is not enough YIELDING going on. Seek FIRST the "spirit-man" in YOU, cultivate YOUR uniqueness. It is akin to a saying, "when the student is READY? The Teacher appears." I don't know where you are at in terms of being strong in YOUR spot? But I will share with you that "bru ha ha'ing" sistas only serves as counter-productive behavior. Which serves no purpose for either sex. Then again, maybe YOU have not been as discerning as you could have in terms of how you "connect" with the sistas that you HAVE met? I don't know, only you can answer this. I do have one question though? You state that, "I am tired of black women looking DOWN on me." What exactly is it that sistas are doing...to you?

At the end of the day? It will be either TRUTH'S or SELF-DECEIT that you lie down with. Because ithese are two key areas that you cannot run away it or mask. For it's reflected in one's character. Be well.

[GLC 3]

If you are only 20 then to be quite honest you don't know sh** about life let alone dealing with women. I'm taking it most of the "women" you deal with are in the same age bracket so in fact you are dealing with girls who are just as confused as you.

But if it makes you feel better to date outside your race then be happy but don't do it because you are hating on your own race.

Very well said Samoon.

[daheel]

First, I'm not 20. I'm 35.

I remember in '86 when I had such high hopes for love and a family. I'm from the country, and in my neck of the woods, marriage/family was a high goal of mine to mimic the family I had.

7 uncles and aunts. No history of drugs or alcohol in any of them. Worked all their lives and are very responsible. All except 1 married. Only 1 divorce, of which they are trying to reconciliate, which by all signs should be pretty soon.

Grandparents married 2 days after the Pearl Harbor attack. Still alive and never looked back.

Yes, I dated alot in and out of college. Most people..........men and women my age did.

1st kiss in the 1st grade................lost virginity at 17.

Always had a girlfriend. Never had a problem meeting and dating sistas.......until about 5 years ago...........

Self employed.

I've met alot of people from all walks of life. Never had an enemy, except for schoolyard fights in elementary school.

I'm not perfect...............i'm not better than most men, and I dont' claim to be a "good man" as so many are quick to do for themselves. I'm just a man.........a simple one at that with hopes and dreams and a desires to take care of all of my family.............my kids as well as mama, and the rest of my family. I pray for the success and growth of my business in order to do that.

I'm no different than your average brother.

But I am treated as less than by most of the women I meet in my daily work.

My starting this post was not an annoucement but more of a question to get a response as to where did this "looking down your nose" attitude manifest itself in the personality of black women?

Are we that bad and undesirable?

Were you hurt that bad by a former love?

Did you proclaim your love for more than a few men, and now you no longer recognize what it feels like to really be in love?

What is it?

Why the snooping into a brother's background? Should I have the right to investigate your medical history............?.......................Check how many times you have been pregnant?................if you've had an abortion?........................prehaps STD's?................... Would you like someone checking on what you deem as "private" information?

Or has the media informed you so much.........overloading your mind so that it has twisted your thinking?

Have brothers attempted to play the middle too much and have not put enough effort into checking the snobbish attitudes so that we seem "sensitive",attentive to your needs and hopefully more desirable to you? Are we punking out by not speaking up and articulating how what some of us think about this?

Help me with this. I'm open to all opinions.

[WellSpoken]

All black women are not bad, I am a good woman and no it. I am sure that are other good women on this site. You actually could be my son if you are in the 20s. Start looking in a different surrounding. If you are attracting wrong black sisters, then take a look in the mirror. Change some things about yourself etc. way you dress - just an example. There are good women - some of us are waiting for the right good man. I am sure there are some good men doing the same. Peace my brotha, seek help from a good mature man.

No doubt there are Black women who look down on Black men, for a variety of reasons. I have run into it before and guess what? I don't give a damn. If a female has a negative way of thinking in regards to me then that only tells me she isn't worth my time or trouble and I move on. It's that simple. It also helps if you already have a high opinion of yourself, that way it's so much easier to move past anyone who thinks lower of you than you think of yourself. I'm not arrogant or anything but I do hold myself in the highest regard and I do have a f**k you attitude for anyone who attempts to make me feel bad about myself. You must do the same.

And keep in mind that Black women have the same issue you claim to have. There are Black men out there who look down on Black women because they all supposedly have issues or are uneducated or they aren't supposed to be as beautiful as white women and a number of other reasons. That's something our women have had to deal with for awhile now. You are only experiencing what they experience from the media and some of us as men all the time. And just maybe these women you run into have built up this attitude based on what they themselves have had to deal with. Not saying it's right but you have to think about things like that.

But the bottomline is that you have not met every Black woman, and I know many personally who are the opposite of what you describe. Fact is if you have already made up your mind about crossing over then, as has been echoed in this thread, do you. Be our guest. If Black women are labeling you not worthy maybe there is some white chick out there who will gladly love you as the Black king you might be. There isn't much more that can be said.

[Samoon]

@ Ran-Ran. Well, I must hand it to you as well. Some very good points you've put out there as well as Well-Spoken. There are a LOT of variables in today's society that have had a negative affect on HOW our brothers and sisters perceive and interact with one another. Unfortunately, the negative aspects are becoming more and more omni-present...more emphasis is now placed on TANGENTS and less on one's CHARACTER. It is sad, but the reality is that I, too, know of individuals that predicate "worthiness" on what college(s) did you attend....what do you do...how financially savy are you...from the areas or zip codes that we live in to the type of vehicle we drive to earning potential...and yes, continual Media influence, that is, what the dictums and standard of the day is for MAINSTREAM America. Black people have always been a very feeling, spiritual group of people. And many have moved away from that replacing what was just described as "requirements" for entering committed relationships. Does this mean that an individual is "more evolved?" Not necessarily so in terms of self-exploration and character. Again, the person that treats you well, regardless of whether they are black, blue or green is what should be looked at. Still, I find it a bit amusing that "my preference" has to be broad-casted. Do your business in the manner that you deem fit....quietly. Others will SEE and know. This brotha does hold some valid points. He did mention the area of family, which is very crucial to us in terms of our position in this land. We DO need each other. He has drive and envisions improving the quality and circle of his life, can't knock him for that.
Coupled with this, I'd state for him to look at the "strong STOCK" in the character of the women in his family that he admires. And this just in? They ARE sistas! So, I'd state that apparently these sistas DO exist----and not just inside his family ranks. It is not my contention to "convince" anyone to be or remain where they do not wish to be. But were I to offer unsolicited advice? I'd state as another poster has---go beyond the women that you see at your place of employ. Broaden your horizons and it does not hurt ANYONE to "check ya battery" and continuously look at self and ask am I being the BEST that I can? And more importantly, a good influence in the circle of life? All, be well. :)