The Good-bye Letter - AfroChat - African American

Ukali · December 2nd, 2007, 06:36 AM

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away together! Have a great life!

__________________________________________________ _____________

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

JABOOM · December 2nd, 2007, 04:27 PM

I guess he didn't mind with his girly hair cut

UglymanCometh · December 3rd, 2007, 08:10 AM

lol... I needed that this morning. Thanks!

afrocentric · December 3rd, 2007, 08:46 AM

LOL......well alrighty then!

ardamus · December 3rd, 2007, 12:10 PM

well, talk about playing yourself out

Auset32 · December 3rd, 2007, 02:00 PM

I Just loved it!

afrocentric · December 3rd, 2007, 02:25 PM

oh, but wait i didn't see the part about carla/carl. now that is funny!

Africana · January 9th, 2008, 12:41 PM

lol, That was SO sweet.

Mr Gumbo · January 9th, 2008, 01:33 PM

Hahahaha, good 1.

trinigirl · February 27th, 2008, 11:44 AM

hmmm, when the grass seems greener on the other side-wet yours.
Too late for him.

December 2nd, 2007, 06:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
Ukali Afro Resident Occasional 2Cents Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: New Orleans LA Gender: Posts: 97 Thanks: 0 Thanked 12 Times in 10 Posts Rep Power: 0 Credits: 668	The Good-bye Letter Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away together! Have a great life! __________________________________________________ _____________ Dear Ex-Husband: Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

December 2nd, 2007, 04:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
JABOOM Afro Resident Join Date: May 2007 Location: IN A WAR ZONE!!! Gender: Posts: 1,386 Thanks: 877 Thanked 539 Times in 348 Posts Rep Power: 39 Credits: 13,264	I guess he didn't mind with his girly hair cut __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. awrittenlifeapoeticsoul.blogspot.com themindkitchen.com

December 3rd, 2007, 08:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
UglymanCometh Afro Resident Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: glorified piss break in MI: born in Yonkers, NY Gender: Posts: 929 Thanks: 1,216 Thanked 199 Times in 129 Posts Rep Power: 22 Credits: 5,184	lol... I needed that this morning. Thanks! __________________ I'm not running for office, so I have no fear of who I offend. -DBlack

December 3rd, 2007, 08:46 AM	#4 (permalink)
afrocentric Afro Resident Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: oklahoma city Gender: Posts: 2,665 Thanks: 1,013 Thanked 405 Times in 323 Posts Rep Power: 58 Credits: 17,030	LOL......well alrighty then! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. hey yall!!!

December 3rd, 2007, 02:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
afrocentric Afro Resident Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: oklahoma city Gender: Posts: 2,665 Thanks: 1,013 Thanked 405 Times in 323 Posts Rep Power: 58 Credits: 17,030	oh, but wait i didn't see the part about carla/carl. now that is funny! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. hey yall!!!

December 3rd, 2007, 12:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
ardamus Afro Resident Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 404 File Not Found Gender: Posts: 1,330 Thanks: 429 Thanked 335 Times in 224 Posts Rep Power: 42 Credits: 8,430	well, talk about playing yourself out

December 3rd, 2007, 02:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
Auset32 Afro Resident Junior Speaker Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Rural North Carolina Gender: Posts: 427 Thanks: 132 Thanked 44 Times in 27 Posts Rep Power: 20 Credits: 4,195	I Just loved it!

January 9th, 2008, 12:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
Africana Afro Resident Occasional 2Cents Join Date: Feb 2007 Gender: Posts: 35 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 0 Credits: 197	lol, That was SO sweet.

January 9th, 2008, 01:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
Mr Gumbo Afro Resident Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Louisiana Born Living In D-Town Texas Gender: Posts: 1,035 Thanks: 193 Thanked 371 Times in 223 Posts Rep Power: 47 Credits: 6,627	Hahahaha, good 1.

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