Don't laugh...we all have to get there!

[Samoon]

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him"Herman , I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate
77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not
just one car. There's hundreds of them!"


OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for a very long
time. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a
few times a week to play cards. One day, they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me, I know we've been friends
for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!
I've thought and thought, but can't remember it.

Please tell me your name." Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared
at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to
know?"


WHAT A CHOICE

A little old lady was running up and down the hall in
a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the
hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked
up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her
gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for
a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll have the
soup."


DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car;
both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were
cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stop
light was red, but they just went on through. The
woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must
be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through
a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another
intersection and the light was red Again, they went
right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost certain that the light had been red but was
really more concerned that she was losing it.

She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on
through. She turned to the other woman and said,
"Mildred , do you know that we just ran through three
red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said "Oh ****, AM I
DRIVING?"


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
report that her car has been broken into. She is
hysterical as she explains her situation to the
dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she
cried. The dispatcher say, "Stay calm, Ma'am, an
officer is on his way."


A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard" he says, "She got in the back-seat by
mistake."

[goodcookinmama]

Originally Posted by Samoon

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him"Herman , I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate
77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not
just one car. There's hundreds of them!"


OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for a very long
time. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a
few times a week to play cards. One day, they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me, I know we've been friends
for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!
I've thought and thought, but can't remember it.

Please tell me your name." Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared
at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to
know?"


WHAT A CHOICE

A little old lady was running up and down the hall in
a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the
hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked
up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her
gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for
a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll have the
soup."


DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car;
both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were
cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stop
light was red, but they just went on through. The
woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must
be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through
a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another
intersection and the light was red Again, they went
right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost certain that the light had been red but was
really more concerned that she was losing it.

She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on
through. She turned to the other woman and said,
"Mildred , do you know that we just ran through three
red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said "Oh ****, AM I
DRIVING?"


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
report that her car has been broken into. She is
hysterical as she explains her situation to the
dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she
cried. The dispatcher say, "Stay calm, Ma'am, an
officer is on his way."


A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard" he says, "She got in the back-seat by
mistake."

that was tooooo funny she got in the back seat