"Thank you for your chain E-mails!"

[Samoon]

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.

"If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer."

Have a NICE day!

[MzKwietStorm]

That was funny. I actually feel that way getting those e-mails day in and day out!!

[deej42]

that was great...thanks for the laugh on a bad day....

[LadyNoir]

It's a mess! I don't mind an occasional funny or inspirational message from friends, but what I do hate are the ones mentioned by Samoon, the ones of doom, gloom and sometimes, even death warnings! These are circulated mainly on my job. Sometimes the same e-mail chain letter is sent by 9 or 10 different people and all asking you to send it back to them and to also send it to 10 other people and you'll hit the lotto or will get some kind of good luck, but if you don't send it something bad will happen. One even said the child of someone they knew died within 12 days because the message wasn't forwarded on to other people. Why would anyone send a lie like that to someone, a lie with death in it, especially the death of a child? I'm glad I'm not superstitious! I no longer even open this kind of mail coming from co-workers, but delete them, unread, from the e-mail program. My personal friends send messages to my private email and those are the ones I'll read unless they are chain letters. If they are, I kindly ask them not to send anything that they expect to be sent on to other people as I don't have the time for such foolishness.

Originally Posted by deej42

that was great...thanks for the laugh on a bad day....

BTW, I agree, Samoon, that this was good for a laugh! I got a good laugh as what you posted is ridiculously true!

[ImaJon]

When I get one of those emails I try and point the sender to some of the urban legend sites that dispells the rumors. With The Internet being such a global entity they will never completely stop but getting to a trickle would be great.

[charliekilothree]

Originally Posted by ImaJon

When I get one of those emails I try and point the sender to some of the urban legend sites that dispells the rumors. With The Internet being such a global entity they will never completely stop but getting to a trickle would be great.

Same here ImaJon. I'm a skeptic to begin with so I always check into the claims these chain letters make. It is still funny though.

[LadyNoir]

Originally Posted by ImaJon

When I get one of those emails I try and point the sender to some of the urban legend sites that dispells the rumors. With The Internet being such a global entity they will never completely stop but getting to a trickle would be great.

Imajon, I've given up! I used to do the same thing, show them that it's just urban legend, even providing the link, but that didn't work so now I just delete them, either without reading or after reading enough to know that it is just more of the same. One lady sends me the same "stuff" over and over, forgetting she's sent it previously, and the worst of it is she expects me to take some kind of action on the messages she sends.

Originally Posted by charliekilothree

Same here ImaJon. I'm a skeptic to begin with so I always check into the claims these chain letters make. It is still funny though.

LOL! I'm VERY skeptical, so I know what you mean, Charlie. I still get the Nigerian letters, can you believe that?

[Samoon]

Originally Posted by LadyNoir

Imajon, I've given up! I used to do the same thing, show them that it's just urban legend, even providing the link, but that didn't work so now I just delete them, either without reading or after reading enough to know that it is just more of the same. One lady sends me the same "stuff" over and over, forgetting she's sent it previously, and the worst of it is she expects me to take some kind of action on the messages she sends.



LOL! I'm VERY skeptical, so I know what you mean, Charlie. I still get the Nigerian letters, can you believe that?

Lady? I was getting "that Nigerian letter" on my HOME fax machine. Can you believe it? But what I'd suggest to you? Inform your colleagues, co-workers, etc. BY E-MAIL (pardon the pun here!) that you do NOT want to receive any chain letters, etc. based on THEIR superstitions. Ask them to respect YOUR beliefs and to refrain from these specific e-mails. Worked for me!

[LadyDivine]

THis is good. Imma send it to about 1200 peeps.