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 "Translations of Help-wanted Ads"
Old October 5th, 2006, 03:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
Samoon
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"Translations of Help-wanted Ads"

Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.

Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.

Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.

Fast learner: You will get no training from us.

Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.

Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.

Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.

Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.

Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.

Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.

Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.

Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.

Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.

Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.

Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

And the most common "catch-all" term: Other duties as assigned. Just shut up and do it.
 
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Old October 5th, 2006, 05:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
charliekilothree
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I love it Samoon.
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Old October 5th, 2006, 05:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
JamieC
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This is good!
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It's Like That

Due to the current financial restraints the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
 
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Old October 5th, 2006, 07:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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that is pretty much true
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Old October 5th, 2006, 10:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
shankems2000
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Good stuff. I got one.

We offer competitive wages- You better take out a second job if you want to pay your rent.
 
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Old October 6th, 2006, 02:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
jimihaze
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This should be given to everybody.funny and so true.
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Old October 6th, 2006, 11:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
LadyDivine
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I now see how I got suckered into this job
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Old October 6th, 2006, 02:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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This is awesome and true. Found these out the hard way:

Quote:
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.

Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

And the most common "catch-all" term: Other duties as assigned. Just shut up and do it.
 
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Old October 6th, 2006, 03:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Really funny and really true!

Auset32
 
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Old October 6th, 2006, 10:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Yeah, that's how I got sucked into my job too.
 
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