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 Human Resources policy review
Old February 2nd, 2006, 07:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Human Resources policy review

Since some of you are in or may be going into management positions, here are a few
pieces for your managerial toolbox, enjoy.

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can effectively
continue.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.


2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.


3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?


4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.


5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!


6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.


7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.


8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?


9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.


10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the h___ didn't you tell me sooner?


11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.


12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.


13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.


14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.


15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.


16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.


17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?


18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,

Human Resources
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Old February 2nd, 2006, 07:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old February 2nd, 2006, 09:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old February 2nd, 2006, 10:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I know this is the FunnyBone thread but I'm sure these replies have really been used by someone. Hell, I've used a few myself
 
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Old February 2nd, 2006, 10:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImaJon
I know this is the FunnyBone thread but I'm sure these replies have really been used by someone. Hell, I've used a few myself

I have used a few of them and still do sometimes.
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Old February 3rd, 2006, 03:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImaJon
I know this is the FunnyBone thread but I'm sure these replies have really been used by someone. Hell, I've used a few myself
Agreed. There are some many good replies around here that alot of them deserve encores.
 
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