Mom & Dad, I'm Gay...

[Corals]

Originally Posted by Rashid

I'm sure that if prayer could change homosexuality, there would be a lot less gay people in the world, don't you think? It's not like NO parent has EVER prayed for their child to be straight -- it happens all the time. It just doesn't work. It's not a testament to how strong their faith is. Faith has nothing to do with it.

I don't think you can pray for a child to be straight, in the true sense of the word. It would have to be something the child want. If the child does not want to be straight or have any inclination to become straight, you can pray until the cows come home, because it is not going to make one bit of difference.

[jimihaze]

I have had a very firm talk with my child about this subject and sex in general. I know my childs stand on this and my child knows our(Mommie&daddy) on this as well. We have a very open dialogue with each other. We also always make a thing to talk about right and wrong acts. Had my child express being gay yes we would have been upset. Yes we would still love our child but we would not condon the gay life style.

[HoOdPrInCe]

Originally Posted by DBlack

I would always love my child unconditionally, and always support her. Whould I disown my child? Of course not! But I would not do anything to condone what I know is an totally unacceptible choice in morality. For example, would I allow her 'mate' to come into my house? NO! Matter of Fact, Hell NO! Would it cause a division between us? Probably. But my kid will understand that dad is a person of unyielding conviction. Parents with no backbone aren't parenting.

Is that harsh? Yes, it is. But parents should be courageous enough to love thier kids but be consistent in their stance on issues. The modern day school of parenting believes unconditional love translates into accepting and allowing your children to do anything they want just to gain and maintain their acceptance. But what about your adult children wanting to maintain the approval of the parents? This used to be valued. There used to be a time where a parents kids would never even think of doing something that would hurt, harm, embarrass, or spit in the face of how they were raised. Parents that play the game of popularity and acceptance.....that's not parenting, that's trying to get along and be popular. And just becaue your kids are grown, doesn't mean you can stop wanting what you as a parent know what is morally and spiritually right.

And if you are shaking your head thinking "Dblack is straight trippin,..."
Open your bible, or whatever spiritual foundation in which you were raised, and that should put you back on the proper path.

I totally agree...

I cant beat it out of them...Imma just let them grow up and accept them as it is...but i dont have to tolerate or feed it!

[Queen_Lavonne]

My child isnt coming home gay for one, But hyperthetically speaking if he did, I'll love him but also pray and talk to him, I cant tolerate that life style, and I wont support him in that decsion, But like I said before that wont happen to me, for one reason, The bible says train up a child the way he should go, I pray constantly over him. Of course so many of you dont agree with me on that.But I feel strongly that God has my son under his wing and none of this demonic sprirts will have any affect on him.

[mariaic]

i would just accept it and talk to her about the choice she is making. if u don't accept it the child will just do it behind your back.

[bluesky]

Originally Posted by Rashid

If you don't want to lose your child, love and accept them unconditionally. I might be one of the few on this board who can answer from the position of the child. (Do your frat brothers know about this? :whistling) Tolerance and acceptance are two different things....you tolerate strangers. You ACCEPT your child.

Anywho- I know I won't accept a young child telling me he/she is gay especially at 15. I agree it is not the fault of the parent of the choice an adult child chooses to make. Even then I can respect my child's decision to be gay (lifestyle), but I don't have to accept it. Basically, I can respect and/or tolerate the person you are, ideals and beliefs but I don't have to accept the person you've become nor do I have to accept the behavior. Honestly, if you child was cussing you, having sex in your home, drinking under age--do you accept it because it's your child? Hell no..it's not accepted nor tolerated.

Please people don't fall for the loving your child unconditionally Unconditional means "without conditions or reservations; absolute." The theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. The doctrine of unconditional love is a myth that glorifies man rather than God. Even God himself put conditions on his chosen people hence "The 10 Commandments".

[urfan2c]

I love unconditionally and have always been loved unconditionally...so how could I turn my back on my child in anyway. If they are still gay after i've taught them growing up about it through the word, that aspect is b/w them and God. But as for me I gave birth to you and you are mine and nothing you could do would make me keep you away from me. My cousin came out our Jr. year of high school and it was a bigggggggggggg commotion, but everyone knows and we love her no less...her g/f attends my school and we all hang together b/c I LOVE MY COUSIN AND SHE'S BEEN THROUGH MY RAPE AND MY DADS DEATH WITH ME AND OUR AUNTS DEATH. I went through 2 rapes with her and abandoment issues so no i'm not seperating myself from someone I love b/c of something that has nothing to do with me. My Dads sister came out the closet this past weekend and no one was shocked, do I love her any less nope...did my grandma disown her child nope. Nothing like having your parent be in your corner maybe not accepting the sin but acceptin and respectin you.

[bluesky]

Who said anything about "disowning" your children? Perhaps I am in the minority. Loving unconditional is no boundries, no guidelines, no regulations-- no anything. Are you saying that whatever you child does is acceptable because your love for them is so not within boundries because you gave birth to them?

I that I love you so much that whatever you do rape, kill, molest children, do drugs I have to accept it because I gave birth to you. WRONG! Again, I can respect the person you are as you are human (even if you are my child) but I don't have to accept from my child that killing, molesting children ect. because you tell me it's the right thing to do and my love is so great for them that I have to love the choices that they make.

When did peolple get to the point where they have to love children unconditionally and accept whatever their child does. Your can love your child, not accept their lifestyle and be best friends. How many mothers love their sons (even on death row for murder) and still think killing is wrong?

Are you trying to tell me there are no boundries on love? Utter bs because if there wasn't we wouldn't have a high divorce rate. Wives would continue to stay with men who cheated and vice versa. My love is unconditionally sounds great in a song "I love you regardless what you do" but apply the theory.

[trinigirl]

This whole acceptance thing is bogus. I remember back in the days where i am from any brothers who tried to exhibit any tendancy towards homosexuality were "restored to balance" and they are not on the DL. What happened the society SHOWED them that the action was wrong, unacceptable, and nopt in accordance with our understanding of the divine creator.
In essence that tendency was beaten, shamed, taunted out of them....

Now today we are talking about accepting, tolerating, etc etc. and that they are born that way.
My queston is what is difference between those time and nowtime? How was it OK for the society to deal with the situation but now i am supposed to be SICK if i am against that type of behaviour and i am categorised as HOMOPHOBIC.

My teenage son goes to an all-boys college and he is taught the RIGHT way of life the way of GOD the almighty.
If he comes to us with that thought I KNOW it would be a short-lived thought.
Just my 19cents
Peace

[bluesky]

Originally Posted by trinigirl

Now today we are talking about accepting, tolerating, etc etc. and that they are born that way. My queston is what is difference between those time and nowtime? How was it OK for the society to deal with the situation but now i am supposed to be SICK if i am against that type of behaviour and i am categorised as HOMOPHOBIC. Just my 19cents
Peace

:hifive: You said it trinigirl. Folks quick to call you a homophobic when you tell them you disapprove of the gay lifestyle (as it is a choice) and believe to teach traditional family values and morals. I've had to get some folks straight I'm not afraid of anyone who decides they want to be gay I'm not jumping on the "gay bandwagon" anytime soon and will hold true firm by my beliefs. Also, it bothers me when people try to compare the "struggles of blacks being the same as gay". Ex: You can look a a black man as his skin is apparent you can't look a black man and tell he's a homosexual. THERE IS NO COMPARISON. I get irritated as hell when folks try to make a connection between black and being gay. I'm with you about teaching my children that being gay is not acceptable for this family.